18 Tiny Habits That Magically Make You Happier
Your everyday habits take away your chances of being happy.
Syda Productions | Canva Do you put other people's happiness ahead of your own, hoping that they will make you feel happy? If you're not feeling good about yourself, you can end up trying to make other people happy to feel their love or approval. However, this can prevent you from being happy with yourself. You can learn how to be happy in life by breaking the habits that destroy your happiness. But, first, you need to identify those self-deprecating habits. You may be a rescuer who takes care of everyone’s needs, but your own needs get left behind. You let others take priority over you. When you accommodate the needs of others, you end up feeling unhappy within yourself.
Here are 18 tiny habits that magically make you happier:
1. Start to prioritize yourself and focus on yourself, rather than putting your happiness on everyone else
2. Stop being a "yes" person and a people-pleaser
3. Listen to yourself and be true to your own needs and wants, within reason
4. Remember that you deserve to be happy and do what is right for you
5. Start asserting yourself by setting limits, having boundaries, and saying "no"
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6. Nurture yourself and be kind to yourself instead of being hard on yourself
7. Learn from your mistakes and don't beat yourself up about them
8. Change negative self-talk into positive affirmations
9. Make time for yourself, take better care of yourself, and do the things that bring you joy
10. Ask yourself what your goals are and what is most important to you
Make that your priority, so you don’t derail from yourself. Find a way to address the distractions that hold you back.
11. Back yourself and trust yourself
No one else knows you better than you, so reassure yourself to take control of your own life.
12. Stop feeling responsible for everyone else
13. Know that you do not need to apologize or blame yourself for things that are not your fault
14. Be aware that you are not responsible for how others feel
15. Stop worrying about what others think of you and stop trying to make everyone happy with you
16. Do not let the self-criticism within you control you
Do not let it sabotage your self-belief.
17. Start sorting out your own life and making a clear plan forward — put it in your diary
Pexels / Karolina Kaboompics
18. Commit to honor yourself and believe in yourself, as part of mastering self-love and self-acceptance
When you stop focusing on yourself, you can seek approval and love from others, while giving up on yourself, ruining your chances of happiness. When you look for happiness in other people, you start relying on them to feel good about yourself because, deep down, you feel like you're not good enough. Real happiness stems from having self-belief and feeling good enough about yourself. This allows you to have the fuel to pick yourself up, embrace yourself, nurture yourself, and invest in yourself.
When you give back to yourself you will become more available for you to build your self-esteem and live a self-satisfying lifestyle. You will be able to address the areas that hold you back and stop distracting yourself. When you find your self-pursuits, you can find happiness within yourself, by finding passion, meaning, and self-fulfillment in doing the things you truly love. Most importantly, by focusing on yourself, you can take back control of yourself, and not let your inner critic take control of you. When you do not invest in yourself you seek approval to feel better. The real antidote to being truly happy within yourself is mastering self-love, believing in yourself, and focusing on yourself, instead of finding happiness in other people.
Nancy Carbone is an author, relationship therapist, and psychodynamic therapist. She specializes in the treatment of personality disorders and relational trauma and is accredited as a mental health social worker.