11 Tiny Gestures That Speak Loudly About A Person’s Character
Even some of our most subtle actions can reveal a tremendous amount about who we are.
Dean Drobot | Shutterstock.com There’s about a million different gestures, phrases, actions, and emotions that speak to our character — whether we’re in the middle of a conversation or indulging in alone time by ourselves. How we navigate through conflict reveals the quality of our communication, empathy, and social skills. How we spend our alone time unveils our greatest passions and emotional regulation skills. Even the day-to-day interactions we share within friendships can be powerfully influential on other people’s perceptions of our character.
Therapist LeMeita Smith, PhD, MLPC, shared that our character is a combination of our individual beliefs and values — what we choose to prioritize, believe in, and embody in our lives, in comparison to the temperament and behaviors that make up our personality. As we go about our lives, there are certain tiny gestures that speak loudly about a person’s character when we interact with others.
Here are 11 tiny gestures that speak loudly about a person’s character
1. Listening attentively
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A 2023 study revealed that attention, empathy, and respect are the keys to active listening — a communication skill that not only helps people to form individual bonds and relationships, but fulfills people’s emotional and physical needs with a simple conversation. By opening your body language, committing to asking thoughtful questions, and actively listening, rather than waiting for your turn to speak, you help make people feel heard in powerful and profound ways.
When we feel heard, we feel respected, valued, and loved, even if we’re speaking with a stranger at the grocery store or a peer at work. This kind of commitment in passing conversations says a lot about our character — that we’re willing to cultivate a safe, comfortable, and open space for other people to express themselves without criticism or judgment.
2. Offering help to strangers without being asked
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Offering help without being asked is one of the tiny gestures that speak loudly about a person’s character, as people who do this are often perceived to be more humble and empathetic. These traits are associated with a person’s likability, according to emotional intelligence expert and author Travis Bradberry.
Whether it’s a stranger or their partner at home, these little acts of kindness can genuinely feed other people's emotional stability. Prioritizing productive social connection that leaves everyone feeling better.
3. Keeping promises and commitments
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According to psychologist Michelle Gielan, people feel less valued, respected, and appreciated by the people in their lives that consistently fail to keep their promises or commitments. Whether it’s showing up late, constantly cancelling plans, or sharing an intimate secret, these seemingly small moments can have big repercussions for the trust and stability of most relationships.
However, people with a strong empathetic character make these commitments a priority in their life, especially with people that have communicated their specific needs, boundaries, and expectations in a relationship. Even if they make a mistake or slip up once or twice, they’re willing to listen to the emotions their action caused and take actionable steps towards growth.
4. Picking up trash
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If you pick up trash when you’re out in public or on a walk in your neighborhood, chances are you have a strong character. Not only are you investing time into helping others who likely won’t know or acknowledge you for the good deed, you’re looking after community space and the environment in empathetic ways.
Marketing expert Jada Hoerr said she’s greatly benefited from picking up other people’s trash in her neighborhood, gaining a sense of personal accomplishment community-oriented empathy, and even mental clarity. It might seem like a small gesture, but the intention behind it not only makes it a genuinely fulfilling practice, but a powerful determinant of others' perception of your character.
5. Expressing gratitude
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People who express gratitude, even for the small things in life, not only feed into a positive perception — both externally and internally — of their character, they also tend to live healthier, more fulfilling lives.
By intentionally giving thanks to the people in your life, expressing love, and chatting with strangers on the street, we socially interact in ways that promote community and connection, as well as strengthening our own emotional wellbeing.
6. Giving genuine compliments
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Networking and connections expert David Mayo notes that overcoming adversity and challenges genuinely builds character, but sometimes it also feeds into our egos in unproductive ways. When coupled with empathy and compassion, these challenging moments can be balanced, helping us build a realistic sense of confidence, without sabotaging our social connections and relationships.
By giving genuine compliments and pointing out the good in others, we not only help build these important bonds, but we help our own perception by others, even if it’s subtle or entirely subconscious.
According to a phenomenon known as “spontaneous trait transference,” explained in a study published by the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, the traits we point out in others are often inadvertently associated with us in that person’s mind.
If you call someone beautiful and intelligent, that person can’t help but to associate those things within you. It’s this positive loop of compliments, great character, and social interaction that helps everyone form better bonds in their relationships.
7. Maintaining composure in high-pressure situations
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Typically, people who are experts at navigating stressful and high-pressure situations with calm composure are also incredibly emotionally intelligent. They’re able to simultaneously regulate their own emotions, help others soothe their own, and troubleshoot through a chaotic atmosphere to resolve problems.
This kind of empathetic and positive leadership is impactful in every avenue of life — whether you’re a leader at work, a partner at home, or navigating an argument with friends.
By making other people feel valued, heard, and comfortable, even amid the chaos, these empathetic leaders build their own character and their outward perceptions in a positive manner.
8. Keeping eye contact
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Eye contact not only prepares our brain for empathetic communication, as a study published in ENeuro reveals, it also helps us to create more meaningful bonds and actively listen better in our conversations. By using other nonverbal communication tactics, coupled with eye contact, we can make other people feel heard without saying a word.
Other studies, including one published in the Journal of Clinical Psychology, argue that eye contact can be therapeutic, as well as socially bonding and internally gratifying. We feel more connected to the people we’re talking to, even if it’s a therapist or a friend, when we make eye contact — helping communication to flow more openly.
When someone is willing to maintain eye contact, even in a chaotic environment or intense conversation, they’re conveying a message that they value you.
9. Taking accountability for mistakes
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Despite unsettling trends that suggest there’s been an uptick in narcissistic tendencies in our society, there’s still power in the behaviors they fail to prioritize — whether that’s taking accountability, making space for people to feel heard, or valuing the benefits of an open, honest conversation.
Instead of shifting blame or adopting a misguided sense of victimhood, people with strong character own up to their mistakes and take accountability for their hurtful comments and behaviors. They remind the people in their lives that they’re willing to set their ego aside to ensure others feel loved and understood.
10. Remembering someone’s name
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People appreciate feeling remembered and valued, according to The Social Skills Center, and some of the most impactful tiny gestures that speak loudly to a person’s character revolve around ensuring they feel that way.
Even by doing something as simple as remembering someone’s name in conversation, brilliant and empathetic people form bonds by making others feel seen and heard.
11. Smiling at a stranger
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According to experts from Walden University, the act of smiling at a stranger or a friend activates mood-enhancing hormones in our brains that relieve stress, promote a happier mindset, and help us to bond more easily with others.
Even when they’re having a bad day, people with a strong character can prioritize the benefits of a smile, even if it’s intended to brighten someone else’s day.
Luckily, as research suggests, the person who is smiling reaps the benefits of a smile just as much as the stranger on the street — helping everyone to feel more appreciated, loved, and seen in our chaotic reality.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.