11 Things You Thought Would Be Fun As An Adult But Are Actually Just Exhausting
Adulting isn't always what it's cracked up to be.
GaudiLab | Shutterstock As kids, many of us wanted to rush through the process of growing up and launch right into adulthood. To us, it was a magical land filled with no curfews, eating whatever we wanted, no parents telling us what to do, and not having to go to school. However, when we finally reached adulthood, we realized that the reality of it was nothing like the enchanted fantasy we dreamed up as kids.
If you have the pleasure of adulting in this day and age, you've likely discovered that you were sold a lie, and the things you thought would be fun as an adult but are actually just exhausting turned out to be your reality. Because, as it turns out, having the adult freedom we never had as kids comes with a hefty price.
Here are 11 things you thought would be fun as an adult but are actually just exhausting
1. Staying out late
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As kids, many of us dreaded bedtime and yearned for the days where curfews were nonexistent and we could stay out with our friends until sunrise. And while the first few nights of staying out well past your original bedtime were exhilarating, the novelty soon wore off, making it one of the things you thought would be fun as an adult but are actually just exhausting.
As adults, staying out late can feel more like a chore than an amusement since many people wake up at the crack of dawn to go to work, come home, cook dinner, and feel completely shot by the end of the day. Sometimes even the thought of staying out late is exhausting within itself.
2. Working from home
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While working from home is certainly beneficial on the days we want to stay in our PJs all day, it can sometimes prove to be even more difficult than leaving the house to go to work. It can be hard to stay motivated and on track in your own home where your pets and kids may distract you, and the boundaries between work and personal life can get blurred.
Working from home can also be isolating, leading to decreased motivation and productivity. According to research from SHRM, remote (40%) and hybrid work (38%) are associated with an increased likelihood of anxiety and depression compared to in-person work (35%).
Although waking up earlier to commute to work can be a hassle, employees who go into the office may have a clearer sense of their position and their work-life balance compared to remote workers.
3. Hosting dinner parties
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As kids, some of us have fond memories of our parents hosting their friends for dinner parties. They may have even invited you to stay for a while, where you got to sample different foods, meet new people, and stay up far past your bedtime laughing until your stomach hurt.
Once you grew up and had a kitchen of your own, you may have been excited to host your own dinner party with those near and dear to you. However, you soon realized that the only reason dinner parties were so much fun as a kid was because you weren't the one hosting them.
As one of the things you thought would be fun as an adult but are actually just exhausting, thinking back on it, you likely realized that there was no stressing out over buying groceries, hours spent preparing in the kitchen, or a messy clean-up to deal with afterwards. But now, as adults, you probably prefer just meeting up with friends at a local restaurant rather than having them in your kitchen.
4. Traveling frequently
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The idea of traveling the world and hitting every destination on your bucket list often excludes all of the stresses that come with traveling. It often requires months of preparation, booking hotels, excursions, securing flights and making sure your passport is updated — all while plunging into debt that could take years to pay off.
While travel costs vary widely depending on factors like destination, duration, travel style, and time of year, a one-week vacation for one traveler in the U.S. averages around $1,991, per a survey from Bankrate. Part of the reason vacations were so much fun as kids was because our expenses were already paid for by our parents. As adults, traveling can be far more stressful than it is worth.
5. Buying a house
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While home ownership may seem like an exciting rite of passage of adulthood, the reality is less appealing. Buying a house requires years of savings, some of which will be spent on renting small apartments.
After buying the actual house, you will have to keep up with maintenance, cleaning, repairs — not to mention the fact that many homeowners spend over a decade paying off the mortgage. Even though a home may provide us with stability and comfort, some experts believe that the financial cons of purchasing a house far outweigh any of the pros.
According to Timothy J. Corriero and Andrew S. Leonard, partners with Geometric Wealth Advisors, "A properly-constructed 'Rent versus Buy' model will typically reveal that renting is a financially-optimal decision. The logic is driven by two factors: First, the costs of homeownership are significant. These costs, which renters largely avoid, are almost always underestimated."
6. Cooking meals
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As a kid, you likely couldn't wait for the day you could finally start preparing meals for yourself, especially if you weren't a fan of your parents' cooking. Maybe you watched movies that centered on the preparation of delicious food and anxiously anticipated growing up.
However, you soon discovered that in order to cook a meal, you had to look up recipes, run to the grocery store to buy all of the ingredients, and clean up the kitchen afterwards. Even if the end product satisfies your tastebuds, the thought of having to go through the entire process all over again just to have a good meal seems to be more trouble than it's worth sometimes.
7. Owning a pet
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While having a pet as an adult can be one of the most rewarding experiences, adults soon realize just how much work goes into it that likely didn't even cross your mind before. Besides cuddles and endless love, you'll get veterinary bills, less sleep when they need to be walked early in the morning, potentially damaged furniture, and less time to have weekend getaways when you're unable to secure a pet sitter.
Few pet owners fail to realize just how financially draining having a pet can be. According to the ASPCA, recent pet industry trends show that the average pet owner spends nearly $1,400 a year on each pet. No matter how much we may love our animals, the ordeal of owning a pet can be overwhelming on days we are exhausted or short on finances.
8. Dating
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The idea of venturing out into the dating world may seem exciting as an adult, as we think about finding our soulmates. Maybe we had crushes growing up but didn't quite feel old enough to seriously date, waiting for the day when we could embrace romance. However, for many people, the reality of dating can be soul-crushing and turn into one of the things you thought would be fun as an adult but are actually just exhausting.
The emotional investment, planning, and juggling schedules that go into dating can make it feel more like a chore than an exciting quest for love. And the rise of dating apps, which were designed to help people connect with each other and find love easily, may actually be making it worse for modern day love seekers.
A 2024 Forbes Health survey found that 78% of respondents feel fatigued by dating apps, with Gen Z (79%) and Millennials (80%) reporting the highest levels of fatigue.
"People who experience burnout with dating apps are exhausted from constantly meeting new people, failing opportunities and lies," Rufus Tony Spann, PhD, a licensed professional counselor, shared. "Over time, the unfortunate misgivings of being on a dating app can cause someone to lose hope in the dating process and finding the right person."
9. Weddings
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While weddings are supposed to be the pinnacle of happiness for couples and all of their loved ones, they can be the most exhausting and stressful experience in a person's life. Choosing a venue, selecting the menu, composing the guest list, sending out invitations, picking out dresses and suits — it is more of a headache than a happy memory, and can quickly drain your bank account.
For people who are in wedding parties, it means spending thousands of dollars on bridesmaid's dresses, bachelorette trips, and gifts for the happy couple, which is likely not what you dreamed of when you imagined standing by her on her wedding day.
While an actual wedding day is an unforgettable, joyous occasion, some people may question if the months or even years of financial strain, endless planning, and sleepless nights were truly worth it for the big moment.
10. Having responsibility
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When we were under our parents' rules, getting out and living independently was something we yearned for. But when the day finally came, you soon realized that having responsibilities and being on your own was not all it was cracked up to be.
The "freedom" of adulthood quickly fades when you realize how many responsibilities come with managing finances, insurance, and taxes. You also have to handle everything on your own that you once relied on your parents for, like handling household chores and making plans to connect with others.
Having to carry what seems like endless responsibilities on your shoulders will almost make you want to return to your childhood.
11. Socializing on a daily basis
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No matter how much we may love hearing from or speaking to the people in our lives, daily social interactions can be draining for some of us as adults. While you likely dreamt of the day when you could go out in public, making new friends and socializing, it ended up being one of the things you thought would be fun as an adult but are actually just exhausting.
As you balance work, family, and other responsibilities, adding daily socializing to the mix can eat into valuable personal time. The mental load of managing everything can lead to burnout and stress as well.
Research published in Social Psychological and Personality Science states that too much socialization beyond a certain frequency can have little health benefit and may even cause harm to your emotional well-being. When some of us were little and had endless energy for playdates, we never wanted them to end. Now, as an adult, you may be begging for a social detox.
Megan Quinn is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in English and a minor in Creative Writing. She covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on justice in the workplace, personal relationships, parenting debates, and the human experience.