11 Things People With Truly Interesting & Fulfilling Lives Avoid At All Costs
You can protect your emotional well-being by avoiding certain activities.
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A | Shutterstock Figuring out how to lead your life with compassion, grace, and healthy self-advocacy isn't an easy feat; in fact, most people only start feeling comfortable as the captain of their fate when they're much older. From feeling balanced in your identity, to comfortable in your relationships, and challenged in all the right ways, garnering a sense of satisfaction in your life revolves around protecting your own emotional health.
Of course, many of the things people with truly interesting and fulfilling lives avoid at all costs are in protection of this emotional well-being. Not only do they set boundaries and pursue their unique interests, they actively choose to forfeit engaging in activities that aren't productive to them, their relationships, or their emotional health.
Here are 11 things people with truly interesting and fulfilling lives avoid at all costs
1. Seeking validation from others
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Many people with low self-esteem often grew up in situations where their needs went consistently unmet and they were forced into attention-seeking behaviors, struggling to find a sense of internal self-worthiness. Instead, they rely on conversations and interactions with others to fend off their fear of rejection, internal insecurity, and anxiety, like marriage and family therapist Jennifer Litner explains, even at the expense of their own well-being.
This is one of the things people with truly interesting and fulfilling lives avoid at all costs — not just because they tend to garner a more secure and stable internal confidence and self-esteem, but because they promote healthy relationships where open communication, trust, and honesty are present, rather than people-pleasing and attention-seeking behaviors.
2. Gossiping and spreading rumors
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Gossip often sparks divisiveness, resentment, and anxiety in relationships, especially in professional spaces, like a study from The Academy of Management Review explains. This can genuinely sabotage emotional health, well-being, and security.
While people with fulfilling, interesting, and secure lives prioritize empathy and lead with compassion in all of their relationships, insecure and more unstable people feel drawn towards sabotaging others to help themselves feel better.
Especially when gossip and rumors could be replaced with meaningful connection and conversation, it's worth avoiding if you're hoping to make the most of your relationships and life.
3. Doomscrolling on social media
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By crafting their daily lives with their own best interests in mind, whether it's a need for rest, social connection, or even challenge, people with more fulfilling and interesting lives actively fend off feelings of isolation and loneliness, even when they're spending time alone.
Of course, the cycle of isolation that people with more fulfilling lives tend to fend off in a number of ways is actually what sparks behaviors like doomscrolling and negative self-talk.
Like author and life coach Dr. Whitney Gordon-Mead argues, this kind of isolation, sparked by stress, anxiety and overwhelm, tends to feed into a larger cycle of discomfort that only exacerbates these people's negative emotions and experiences. The less time we invest in connecting with others and supporting our own needs, the more isolated we become, and the less healthy our habits are.
4. Making petty jabs at people
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Many people who consistently engage in insecure and narcissistic behaviors rely on other people's discomfort to make themselves feel more secure. By breaking down someone's confidence, making them feel less confident with petty remarks and invalidating their emotions, they misguidedly make space for their own attention-seeking needs.
Of course, people with fulfilling lives, motivated by confidence and feelings of self-worth, generally rely on habits and conversational behaviors in their relationships to build sustaining interpersonal connections.
Instead of letting their own insecurities fuel their relationship shortcomings, they actively work on evaluating their emotional health, like clinical psychologist Lori Lawrenz suggests, investing in self-care and supporting their needs to show up better — not just for themselves, but for everyone in their lives.
5. Getting stuck in a materialistic mindset
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Especially in today's consumerist culture, where many people operate from a materialistic mindset and are motivated by the accumulation of "things" rather than experiences, falling into the cycle of loneliness, isolation, and anxiety these habits spark can be easy. When your life is crafted by spending, consuming, and focusing on material goods, you feed into a shallow existence, rather than a thoughtful and intentional one.
While keeping up with trends may be one of the things people with truly interesting and fulfilling lives avoid at all costs, they do invest in themselves by curating a sense of personal style and sustainability. They may opt for quality investments, rather than constant shopping hauls.
Generally, they care more about finding ways to support themselves, their identity, and their life satisfaction with thoughtful purchases, rather than satisfying an innate desire to anxiously consume with hopes it sparks connection or praise.
6. Speaking negatively about themselves
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According to experts from Adult Child and Adolescent Psychiatric Services, negative self-talk has a variety of psychological consequences including heightened anxiety, depression, and effects leading to an insecure self-esteem.
Not only does consistent self-talk disrupt our emotional and mental health, crafting an overly critical self-image, it encourages us to lean into relationships that mirror our distaste for ourselves.
When people treat us badly, we feed into their unhealthy behavior, never truly believing that we're worthy of safety, love, or empathy. On the other hand, people who feel secure in their identity and lead fulfilling lives do the opposite — feeding into relationships that empower and uplift them, rather than play into their toxic habits or mindsets.
What you say about yourself matters. Even if you need to use positive affirmations to learn how to speak positively about yourself, once you get to a point where you start believing it, everything else in your life will change for the better.
7. Over-explaining their decisions to others
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Many insecure people who don't believe in themselves look for validation and praise from others to inform their life decisions and actions, rather than leading with their own best interests and needs in mind.
When they make a decision, they often feel drawn towards explaining themselves, hoping to "prove" their worth, competency, and intellect to others, rather than feeling that security intrinsically.
Personal growth coach Annecha J. Smart suggests it's actually a secure identity, the opposite of the insecure one above, that helps people to live more interesting and fulfilling lives.
Channeling security and authenticity, people with a healthy sense of self-worth and their unique identity generally bounce back from negative situations more easily, finding ways to prioritize themselves even amid chaos and confusion.
8. Seeming ungrateful
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According to experts at the Mayo Clinic Health System, being able to healthily express gratitude to the people around you isn't just empowering for healthy relationships, it can also help to support your healthy emotional well-being and mental health.
When we prioritize leading with compassion, making other people feel heard, and expressing thanks for their time, energy, or love, we open the door to more fulfilling connections — the kind of social interaction that can add a great deal of happiness, satisfaction, and health in our lives.
While less confident and secure people may skip over gratitude in a self-preserving manner, selfishness is one of the things people with truly interesting and fulfilling lives avoid at all costs to maintain healthy relationships and a secure self-esteem.
9. Working outside their standard hours
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While less fulfilled and more insecure people may use work as a coping mechanism in many areas of their lives, or urge themselves to feel more important by working longer hours and never setting boundaries at work, healthy and happy people find a balance.
While they may still put in some hours on the weekend or answer a passing phone call after working hours are over, they figure out how to set boundaries and prioritize communication that ensures their well-being is accounted for.
From taking breaks and prioritizing self-care to combat burnout, to setting work-life boundaries with their teams, and finding ways to grow at work and at home, people with fulfilling and interesting lives never let one part of their identity to life take over completely — especially their jobs.
10. Excessive screen time
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According to a study published by Preventative Medicine Reports, there's an association between more screen time and a lower psychological well-being. Especially when your screen time reaches the "excessive" of more than 7 hours per day, you could be putting yourself at risk for feelings of isolation, depression, anxiety, and loneliness.
People with fulfilling and interesting lives may still be using their phones, scrolling on socials, or sitting behind a laptop for most of their days, but they also incorporate healthy habits into their routine that mediate the harmful effects excessive screen time can cause. From journaling, to "no screen time" boundaries, and other mindfulness techniques, they ensure they leave time for themselves away from technology and social media.
11. A poor sleep schedule
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According to the Mental Health Foundation, rest isn't just fundamental for our physical health, helping to support our immunity and general well-being, it's also necessary for our emotional and mental health.
By taking breaks, getting enough sleep, and generally feeding into self-care habits, we ensure that we're not placing too much unnecessary stress on ourselves that can lead to isolation, anxiety, and depression.
People who have the time and energy to craft interesting and personally fulfilling lives ensure they're not missing out on opportunities for rest — whether it's a chance to mentally recharge or physically getting enough hours of sleep at the end of the day.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.