Focus Your Attention On These 11 Things People Can't Take Away From You
You have control over your own life, and nobody can change that.
Ground Picture | Shutterstock While many of us may unhealthily fall into a self-pitying habit of believing our lives are entirely in the hands of fate, the truth is that we have the control, confidence, and ability to change our own lives. Whether it's choosing to react to an uncontrollable situation with grace or prioritizing your attention on the things people can't take away from you, there are so many opportunities in your daily life and beyond to craft a life you're proud of and passionate about to wake up everyday and live.
By reimagining your routine to focus on the things you can control, including your reactions to unplanned events and alone time, you have the power and opportunity to create a life you're excited about.
Here are 11 things people can't take away from you to focus your attention on
1. Your humor
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Laughter and humor plays an important role in crafting the happiness in our lives. According to experts from the Mayo Clinic, it's not just an important behavior for de-stressing, but also for relieving tension and supporting our physical health and well-being.
Whether you're using laughter to de-escalate an emotional conflict or simply smiling to yourself on the way to work, remembering there's power in leveraging positivity in your life can transform your routine.
Don't let people take away your urges towards empathy, compassion, and humor. Even in the chaos of our lives and the grief of our losses, a small glimpse at positivity can make a huge difference.
2. Your character
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According to psychologist Sabrina Romanoff, our character is characterized by our personal beliefs and values, and while they might shape our social interactions and experiences with others, they're more intrinsically tied to our identities.
Nobody can alter the past life experiences and values that have shaped our character, even if they're intentionally trying to dismiss or invalidate us. We have power over our choices and the beliefs and principles we uphold in our daily lives.
While it might often feel like we're pressured to act or behave in a certain way, there's always room for personal autonomy, even if it's just in shifting our mindset or changing the way we communicate to relay what we find most important.
3. Your personal time
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While many of us are tied up in the chaos of our daily lives, from family responsibilities to work, we often have at least a few moments of personal free time that nobody can take away. Especially if we're intentional about grasping onto those moments and leveraging the time we do have to ourselves, there's a number of ways it can prove beneficial to our physical, emotional, and mental well-being.
While hobbies and our personal interests can give us an opportunity to build skills and experience, they also serve as outlets for our creativity and self-esteem. When we make time for ourselves, prioritize that time, and show up consistently, we build trust with ourselves — like in any other close relationship — that adds to the joy and fulfillment we experience in our routines.
Your kids might need you some days, and on others work might be too crazy to leave on time, but finding a few spare moments to spend with yourself, even on a drive home, can feel equally satisfying and empowering.
4. Your responses
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Life can be unexpected, throwing a million different things our way without any secure plan for how to navigate through them. However, while we might not have control over the unpredictable twists and turns in our routines, we do have power over how we respond to them.
What do you want to lead with when navigating your life? How do you want to communicate and interact with others? What's most important for you to prioritize and think about when making decisions?
While it might seem chaotic and challenging in passing moments, we do have control over how we respond — to events, trauma, grief, and other people — and nobody can take away that autonomy from us, even if we don't feel especially empowered or confident.
5. Your sense of peace
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While this might be more of a mindset to uphold than a fact of life, protecting your peace is a constant decision that we have the power to make in our daily lives.
Some people consistently let other people's actions and opinions determine their sense of peace, motivated by external validation and painting a curated image for others to enjoy, but those who intentionally remind themselves that they're the only person whose opinion truly matters are not only more confident, but more fulfilled in their lives.
Like experts from the University of South Florida argue, being self-confident and intrinsically fulfilled is a practice — one that you have to choose and prioritize every day. When you focus your attention on the habits that bring you joy and the practices that fulfill you, you're subtly reminding yourself that your sense of peace is something that other people can't take away from you.
6. Your health
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As experts from the Windermere Medical Group suggest, everyone has the power to take control of their health and well-being, even amid unfortunate or unforeseen circumstances. Even if it's simply a mindset shift — deciding to take responsibility for unhealthy habits or a bad situation — that reminds you that people can't take away from your personal well-being, that's empowering enough to change your routine.
Outside of your physical welfare, you also have the power to care for and promote your emotional and mental health. While there's always external factors that may consistently play into your general well-being, from toxic relationships, to past trauma, and even mental illness, at the end of the day, your autonomy in separating yourself from toxicity and mediating its consequences is something people can't take away from you.
Even if there's a social, financial, or personal exception that's urging you to remain stagnant or to tolerate misbehavior, you have the power to change your mindset, promote healthier habits, or seek help that allows you to live a happier, more fulfilling life.
7. Your knowledge and intellect
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By committing to a curious and creative mindset, you take power over what you know, the information you choose to learn, and the knowledge you acquire in your life.
While outside circumstances like faulty institutions or inequity in traditional classrooms may urge you to leave the pursuit of knowledge in the hands of external groups, at the end of the day, focusing your attention on learning and growing your personal intellect is something that people can't take away from you.
By making a few small changes to your daily routine and habits, like mental health nurse practitioner Timothy J. Legg suggests, you can leverage your intellect as a skill that's inherently changeable and flexible, rather than a stagnant trait you're simply born with.
From getting enough sleep, to adopting healthier eating habits, socializing, and prioritizing hobbies and personal interests, there's a number of ways you can feed into your own intellect. Remember: you have the power. If you choose to do nothing with it, you'll remain consistently stagnant and unfulfilled, but if you commit to building habits and a routine that works best for you, the sky is the limit.
8. Your past experiences
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Innovation coach Dr. Amy Climer suggests that self-reflection is a powerful tool for people with past trauma or toxic experiences to feel more fulfilled and empowered in their lives. When we reflect on what's happened to us — what we've experienced, the relationships we've been in, or the habits we've chosen to adopt — we gain perspective that informs our character development and personal growth.
While we may not be able to change our past, there's power in knowing that other people also don't have power over changing our experiences, even if they've had a different one. We've already experienced our emotions; now, we have the power to acknowledge and heal from them, in whatever way works best for us.
9. Your mindset on life
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Our habits and routine often feed into our mindset on life, giving us the tools and resources to dream, connect, and invest in ourselves. By prioritizing certain habits like mindfulness, we can simultaneously craft a mindset and perspective on the life we want to live while prioritizing our health and well-being in our daily lives.
Of course, toxic and unhealthy people and relationships in our lives can sometimes feed into a less fulfilled reality, but the mindset that fuels us to navigate those hardships is entirely our own to craft. When we make decisions, like cutting off a toxic friend or leaving a job, fueled by our own mindset, values, and beliefs, we establish a sense of trust with ourselves that only grows stronger when we commit to autonomy.
10. Your healthy habits
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Experts from Kaiser Permanente argue that setting and committing to new healthy habits and routines takes time and practice, but it's often worth the effort, as they feed into our general well-being and the happiness we experience in our lives. By focusing your attention on healthy habits that feed into your happiness, you craft a routine that people can't take away from you.
Even if you're only integrating habits in small moments, remember that connecting with yourself, your needs, and your desires is the key to unlocking a healthy routine. When we shape our lives in accordance with other people's success or desires, we only commit to a routine that dismisses ourselves.
11. Your aspirations and life goals
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While many of us struggle with insecurity and low self-esteem, more concerned with other people's perception of us than our own self-trust and growth, there are ways to craft goals and aspirations that are entirely for ourselves. Start with crafting alone time dedicated to learning about yourself, prioritizing mindfulness techniques like meditation or journaling that carve out space for growth.
Making goals and aspirations with other people in mind — from your family members to a new relationship — can be empowering, but at the end of the day, your future planning should prioritize you, above all else. You have the power to change your routine or prioritize certain habits that make you happy, even if it's just a small daily commitment or mindset shift.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.