When These 6 Things Start Happening, It Might Be Narcissism In Disguise
How a narcissist can easily hide in plain sight.
PNW Production | Canva Today I want to talk about the signs that you’re with a covert or shy narcissist. A covert narcissist is different from an overt or classic narcissist, and that’s why this information is so important today.
Not all red flags wave wildly — some slip in quietly, dressed up as charm, confidence, or even love. But beneath the surface, certain behaviors might signal something more toxic: narcissism in disguise. If you've been feeling off but can't quite put your finger on why, these six subtle shifts could be your clue.
When these things start happening, it might be narcissism in disguise:
1. You feel like you're being played
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You’re being played mentally and emotionally, and they use crude ways of manipulation — they're no CIA genius. A lot of times we want to believe that because you can’t see the forest through the trees and also because we have a little bit of an ego that says that if we’re being played it got to be some sort of military top-secret type of manipulation, not something like this.
Unfortunately, you are dealing with someone who is dealing with a possible lower level of emotional intelligence.
2. You start to have a lot of self-doubt
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They have a lot of self-doubts, they’re outwardly depressed, they have a low energy level — and all is the opposite of a covert or classic narcissist. Remember that a classic narcissist is that alpha male or alpha female, opposite from the covert.
The covert narcissist may also try to manipulate or gaslight you. They might regularly guilt you into believing you've wronged them when the opposite is true. This can leave you feeling confused and self-doubting.
3. You notice that stress really messes them up
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Stress puts them in a tizzy because they’re highly vulnerable to it. They’re highly vulnerable to stress, they have difficulty with criticism and they like a lot of sympathy. They like to tell you a lot of sob stories and remember the opposite, the classic narcissist, does not want your sympathy.
A narcissistic collapse can occur when a narcissistic person feels their self-image or self-esteem is threatened, leading to intense emotional pain and potentially vindictive or aggressive behavior. They are highly sensitive to criticism and may react defensively or with passive-aggressive behavior.
4. You have to endure anger being a big theme in their life
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The first emotion that comes from them when they are pushed is anger. It’s not really only sadness, it’s not something different. It's anger because anger is sparked. They’re actually internally angry.
Covert narcissists, like their more overt counterparts, are prone to explosive outbursts of anger, often referred to as narcissistic rage, triggered by perceived criticism, rejection, or challenges to their sense of self-importance. They may use self-deprecation as a way to gain sympathy and attention, masking their need for admiration.
5. You start to realize that the image that they’ve created is not real
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So different from that classic narcissist, they know that they’re living a lie. Because of that, they worry about that lie being uncovered.
They stress out about it and they internally believe that they are not worthy of anything. Hence the foundation of the shy, covert narcissist.
6. You catch on to their self-entitlement
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This is an interesting caveat. They’re self-entitled, but on the contrary, they have severe self-image issues and self-worth issues so they feel less worthy. They’re not confident, but they’re entitled which is a very interesting dynamic.
With anything, think about these six tips and these six distinctions and flags. There’s a big spectrum, so it's not one-size-fits-all with the covert or shy narcissist.
And remember, once someone takes responsibility for their actions and for their life, they can overcome anything. So this isn’t a problematic situation in your relationship. You can actually talk to your mate and maybe they can actually get some help and begin to release this anger and release the reason why they actually created this false air in the first place.
If that doesn’t work then you might have to move on. But in the meantime, this is an indication that you’re with a shy or covert narcissist and I hope that you’re living your true life today.
If you think you may be experiencing depression or anxiety as a result of ongoing emotional abuse at the hands of a narcissist, you are not alone. Domestic abuse can happen to anyone and is not a reflection of who you are or anything you've done wrong.
Ashley Berges is a nationally syndicated radio show personality, author of The 10-Day Challenge to Live Your True Life, host of The Celebrity Perspective on Amazon Prime, speaker, mentor, and Live Your True Life Coach.
