9 Things Truly Happy People Do Differently That Have Nothing To Do With Working Hard
Simple changes can move you toward a deeper sense of inner peace.
PeopleImages by Yuri A via Shutterstock People who walk through life happy from their core are not magical beings. They aren't born with a gift the rest of us are missing. One thing they do differently? They don't always feel the need to push themselves to work harder and harder to reach an external goal. After all, trying to build a perfect life is impossible. So, what do they do? They shift perspectives on work, identity and their need for control.
Mindset and manifestation expert Samantha Chung, known as "Simplifying Sam", has gone from burnout to radical acceptance by learning how non-attachment is the key to living a happy and fulfilled life, which she discussed on Getting Open with Andrea Miller.
Nine things happy people do differently that don't require more hard work
1. They allow themselves to grieve the person they thought they were going to be
Samantha was raised to believe she always had to be perfect, she knew her parents did this to protect her and keep her safe, but the fallout left her with no idea how to be anything other than perfect and successful as defined by her parents.
True happiness requires us to let go of those expectations so we can appreciate the moments and lead ourselves with interest instead of guilt.
2. They accept other people might be disappointed
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A via Shutterstock
When she started falling apart due to not being able to be perfect, Samantha was forced to recognize her life could still be great and she still had worth, even if she wasn't living up to her parents' dreams and her original dreams for herself.
Freeing ourselves from approval allows us to better discover what interests us so we can pursue life from an authentic mindset.
3. They stop judging themselves and others
Resisting her true self was exhausting and fighting to try to get back who Samantha really was took all her energy Then there was the fight against accepting how she wouldn't achieve her shame driven dreams filled her with grief, loss, sadness, fear.
Samantha found acceptance through a group of women she worked with who helped her end judgement of others and herself. This made room for her to accept her true self and stop the internal identity struggle, as supported by a study of women's gender identity constructs and the relationships of those constructs to ethnic identity in the Journal of Counseling & Development.
4. They stop expecting the journey to give them things, it's just the journey
Once she stopped resisting herself and her journey, Samantha started feeling more like herself and realized she was OK without all of her expectations being met.
This fits together with ending judgements of self and others to create a mindset where we are more open to opportunities we otherwise might miss.
5. They look for the possibilities
Samantha learned to be in a more receptive state by trying new stuff just to try it. Even if she didn't end up liking it, it opened possibilities to more.
As Samantha had grown more accepting of herself, we can also see how being open to the possibilities requires us to be open to ourselves and others, a suggested by a study in the Journal of Research in Personality.
6. They journal daily
Juice Flair via Shitterstock
Samantha will revisit her journal writing to find the fulfilling highlights of her daily life so she doesn't miss her previously shame driven idea success. as much. Daily writing helps keeps us in touch with our progress to become more open and accepting in mindset and practice.
7. They allow their identity to be open or undefined sometimes
Before her collapse, Samantha couldn't imagine what would actually make her happy. Everything outside of guilt based success was false until she realized it's OK to just be 'in progress' for a while.
You can create a really beautiful life without your attachments being met. because you are your greatest source of peace, love, and security.
8. They stop trying to get exactly what they want
Samantha encourages us to instead start manifesting by using the art of creating thoughts into things. You can do this by believing what you can see in your mind can become a reality you can taste, touch, and experience.
Beliefs, emotions, habits, and behaviors born from shame and guilt keep us from creating a mindset of manifestation, or allowing ourselves to accept an opportunity, as suggested by a review of research examining the link between shame, guilt, and depressive symptoms in Psychological Bulletin.
9. They manifest somatically
Stressing the truth that manifestation is nothing magical, Samantha has seen how we should manifest the feeling, not the outcome.
We don't want a number, we want a feeling. Numbers in a bank account, or bodily measurements are based in the need to prove ourselves from the constant stress of shame-based control that thrives on an if/then mentality.
She found that ultimately, the relationship we have with ourselves to create an experience is possible but we have to banish the if/then mentality to create a positive relationship with ourselves. A self-relationship that is not dependent on meeting a check list of shame based conditions.
Once we remove those shame-based conditions, we find manifestation is a lifestyle and a mindset, your ability to create an experience reflects internal beliefs. Its not magic, you are just being you playfully in the world. Manifestation is simply letting yourself be the true fun you who wants to have an experience.
Will Curtis is a creator, editor, and activist who has spent the last decade working remotely.