11 Things Gen Z Doesn’t Want Advice On, They Just Want To Be Heard
Unsolicited advice is never the best way to support someone.
Abdrakhmanov Lenar / Shutterstock Feeling heard is the foundation of every relationship, whether it’s the one you have with yourself, your partner, your friends, or co-workers. People in older generations may not realize it, but there are many things Gen Z doesn't want advice on, they just want to be heard about.
Even if they aren’t sure how to verbalize their feelings or ask specifically for what they need in terms of being listened to, the resentment, anxiety, and social isolation they tend to experience are rooted in not being heard or understood. So, if you're close to a Gen Z person, whether you’re their boss, co-worker, parent, or partner, you can learn to create a safe space for them rather than alienating them by offering unwanted solutions and unsolicited advice.
Here are 11 things Gen Z doesn’t want advice on, they just want to be heard
1. Dealing with childhood trauma
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Gen Zers and millennials largely report experiencing more childhood trauma than people in other generations, largely because of accessibility to information, greater access to mental health resources, and conversations about the link between childhood experiences and adult well-being.
But it’s not something that they’re actively looking to heal with solutions or advice. Even if they’re having conversations with their parents about the trauma and negative memories they experienced early in life, they don’t necessarily want advice on how to personally cope or even constant accountability. They just want to feel heard and supported.
Even if they don’t agree, even if they don’t remember, even if it’s uncomfortable to talk about, childhood trauma is one of the things Gen Z doesn’t want advice on, they just want to be heard about in order to have their emotions validate, and move forward from a healthier place.
2. Career choices
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If there’s a generation that’s simultaneously confused and steadfast about their careers, it’s Gen Z. They may be struggling to find their place in the corporate world or in the workforce in general, but they do have solid and confident beliefs about what they’re looking for in their employment.
According to a Deloitte report on the workplace, Gen Z largely prioritizes work-life balance, flexibility, and finding purpose in their careers, compared to older generations with much different traditional values like company loyalty and climbing the corporate ladder. So, when they’re complaining about the job market or the misalignment of their passionate values in their current job, they’re not looking for solutions or advice. They’re looking to feel heard and supported.
3. Gender identity
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For Gen Z, that tends to be more fluid and accepting of gender neutral pronouns and diverse gender expressions, according to the Pew Research Center, when they’re speaking about confusion or frustration around their identity, they’re not looking for solutions. In fact, unsolicited advice and solution-oriented thinking feels dismissive to people of all ages, especially talking about something as personal and unique as personal identity.
Many of the things Gen Z doesn’t want advice on aren’t rooted in entitlement or a feeling of superiority, it’s simply driven by their yearning for emotional support. They want to feel heard by their parents and friends, not ridiculed or given misguided advice that misguidedly dismisses and invalidates the way they’re feeling in the present moment.
4. Navigating social media
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While there’s certainly a lot of helpful resources and habits that can help to mitigate the consequences of spending too much time online or on social media, Gen Z often feels conflicted enough about their screen-time that they’re not looking for advice when they bring up the topic. Especially when they’re talking to people in older generations about their struggles online, it’s usually not to get their advice, considering they grew up in an entirely different digital age and landscape, it’s to feel heard and supported from an outside perspective.
Many young people even find their communities and closest relationships online. Consider dating apps that lead to relationships, communities of people with shared interests, or hubs for marginalized demographics and identities that serve as a safe space for people who don’t have support in their everyday lives.
Social media is both a place where mental health and self-esteem can struggle, but also an environment where belonging, community, and communication can thrive for Gen Zers, which makes it complicated to truly complain about or seek help in navigating.
5. Relationships and dating
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With rising mental health concerns, financial instability, and a changing of traditional values toward more modern and innovative ones, Gen Z has inadvertently changed the dating landscape. They’re opting for situationships, short-term connections, and online dating in a way that older generations never had the opportunity to explore, which makes seeking advice complicated and sometimes invalidating.
When Gen Z complains or talks about their dating life or relationships, especially to older generations of parents and peers, they don’t want advice, they just want to feel heard. It’s a landscape that not many older generations understand, simply because they haven’t lived through it themselves, so even in the event where a Gen Zer did want advice, it may be too general or subtly irrelevant to consider.
6. Traditional paths to success
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Whether it’s finding a job or starting their higher education, a traditional path to success is one of the things Gen Z doesn’t want advice on, they just want to be heard. Many of them have already suffered at the hands of unrealized promises rooted in traditional expectations and societal pressures, like grappling with student debt from college, an insecure job market, or once-high-paying industries being overtaken by AI.
They’re not willing to take advice from people, because that advice has left them overworked, underpaid, and struggling to reconnect with their own personal identities and interests now. They want to be supported as they make a change.
7. Body image
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Coupled with their reliance on social media and the internet, it’s not surprising that many Gen Zers struggle with body image, self-esteem, and self-worth. They’re constantly subjected to societal pressures and beauty standards, and even if they’re not actively feeding into them or giving them space, the pressure can wear off and be incredibly draining.
When they speak about these pressures and standards, they’re not looking for advice, they want to feel heard.
8. Work-life balance
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Considering so many Gen Zers have been misguidedly labeled as lazy by older generations for simply redefining work-life balance expectations, taking the time off they’re entitled to, and restructuring their job outside the main focus of their life and identity, it’s not surprising that they’re not looking for advice. It’s one of their top priorities in the workplace, which is why they’re not willing to compromise with solution-oriented thinking and advice for making compromises. They’ll just leave the job and find an environment where their needs and values are not just tolerated, but celebrated.
They want to have a safe space to talk about changing work expectations and their beliefs on crafting a life they’re excited about in adulthood without being labeled as lazy or entitled for pursuing what they want and need.
9. Climate anxiety
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When it comes to acting on, making change, and dealing with the anxiety many Gen Zers are grappling with around climate change, they’re not looking for advice — they want to feel heard and understood.
Considering there’s such a misalignment of views about climate change between generations, despite evidence fueling activism, Gen Zers want to find a way to speak about their anxiety without judgment. They want to fuel other age cohorts to take action and feel the same passion they do about climate advocacy. They don’t want advice on how to ignore it or distract themselves from anxiety about it.
10. Saving money
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While it’s true that many Gen Zers are equally resentful and frustrated about their lack of financial education growing up — as a generation, they have the lowest financial literacy rates — they’re not looking for advice on how to better manage their money from older generations, specifically.
They may take advice from experts online or seek out better financial habits from peers, but when it comes to changing their mindset around money, they’re not willing to adopt a sacrifice mentalities that would make little difference in their true financial state at the expense of their mental health and wellbeing. When they complain about money or express their anxiety around finances, they just want to feel heard.
11. Politics
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Many Gen Zers are more outspoken about politics today because they’re inherently personal. They’re willing to have conversations about what’s going right and wrong, because it plays a huge role in their lives. However, when a Gen Z person speaks about these somewhat controversial and taboo topics, they're not looking for advice. They’re already advocating, spreading awareness, and doing their part in learning. They’re looking to feel heard. They want to feel supported and understood when they talk about vulnerable topics.
Of course, it’s not always comfortable to have these conversations, especially with people who have different opinions than you, but to nurture healthy relationships, you have to engage in them through an empathetic and thoughtful lens.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
