7 Things That Feel Good Short-Term But Hurt People In The Long Run, According To Psychology
These behaviors are often counterproductive and keep you from finding your true purpose.
Ila Bappa Ibrahim | Canva It took me many years to feel like I was living with any sense of purpose. For starters, I was young and more focused on not looking dumb and making my first few online dollars. I was living in the short-term. Over time, this sense that I needed more fulfillment gnawed at me.
I needed more than just to pay the bills and keep a roof over my head. I needed to focus on the long-term. Eventually, I did more things that gave me a sense of real purpose. I learned what blocked me and others from realizing it.
Here are 7 things that feel good in the short term but hurt people in the long term:
1. Being self-obessed
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Worrying about how we look and what others think stifles purpose. It’s blocking you from the real experience of you. Focus outwards on helping others and improving the world, and you will have a purpose.
According to a 2022 study, self-obsession hinders your purpose by creating a mental barrier that prevents you from focusing on anything beyond your thoughts and feelings, making it difficult to connect with others, understand their needs, and contribute meaningfully to a larger goal, essentially trapping you in a cycle of self-centered rumination that obstructs your ability to pursue a fulfilling purpose in life.
2. Chasing money and material possessions
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Money can be seen as a reflection of the difference you are making in the world, but pursuing money in and of itself will take you away from purpose. Attach the making of money to something greater than you.
3. Rushing
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You don’t lack time. Life is long. Days are long. You know this. I know it. Really, you lack two things: desire and momentum. Figure out what demands your time and ensure it’s not stuff you’ll regret spending most of your life doing.
Researchers who published a study by the American Sociological Association wrote, “With waking hours largely consumed by work, precious minutes remain for the daily list of to-dos, including exercise, cleaning, and socializing with friends and family.”
At first glance, the issue seems straightforward. Time pressure comes down to a lack of time, right? Well, partly. It’s the feeling that we don’t have enough time to do what we want to do—but it turns out that feelings and enough and wants are somewhat subjective.
4. Prioritizing goals over momentum
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Goals are essential, but they are less significant than creating momentum. Momentum is created now, not next Wednesday. Develop a system that is biased to continual motion, and you will have a purpose.
5. Ignoring your gut
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Inner Intelligence is that wise voice that reaches you when you finally stop worrying for a second. It finds you when you’re in flow. The voice tells you exactly what you need to know to be on purpose if you’d only listen.
2010 research suggests that ignoring your inner voice, often referred to as intuition or your "gut feeling," can significantly hinder your ability to align with your life purpose by preventing you from making decisions that resonate with your true values and desires, potentially leading to feelings of dissatisfaction and a sense of being off track in life; this is because your inner voice can act as a guide to help navigate complex situations and identify what truly aligns with your goals and aspirations.
6. Working outside your Zone of Genius
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Life gives us many excuses to deviate from those things we’re naturally gifted in that bring us to life. Find those things, and be lethal in how you say no to the things that should not demand your limited attention.
Research, particularly around the concept of the "Zone of Genius" popularized by psychologist Gay Hendricks, suggests that consistently stepping outside of your natural strengths and passions (your Zone of Genius) can significantly hinder your ability to fulfill your purpose in life, leading to decreased motivation, satisfaction, and ultimately, a sense of being unfulfilled or not living up to your potential.
7. Not honoring your core values
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Maybe you can’t verbalize your values, but you can see them at play when what you do just doesn’t sit right in the gut. You feel a seeping sense of shame. These are the moments you are in conflict because your actions do not align with your values. You are not on purpose when you are out of alignment with what you consider the way to live your life.
Research shows that when your actions and life choices are not aligned with your core values, it can significantly hinder your ability to find and fulfill your purpose, leading to feelings of dissatisfaction, lack of motivation, inner conflict, and ultimately, a sense of being unfulfilled in life. Essentially, a 2020 analysis published by the Review of General Psychology found that living out of alignment with your values creates a barrier to discovering and pursuing what truly matters to you on a deeper level.
Alex Mathers is a writer and coach who helps you build a money-making personal brand with your knowledge and skills while staying mentally resilient.