4 Things Cats Take Into Consideration When Choosing Their Favorite Human
The #1 criteria is whoever gives them the wet food, of course, but there's more to it than that!
ElenaNichizhenova | Getty Images | Canva Pro For the most part, dogs will buddy up to anyone who shows them some attention and affection, or even those who don't! Cats, on the other hand? They're a bit more discerning — that's part of what cat people love about them. And one cat expert says felines actually have a sort of hierarchy when it comes to the people in their lives, and it's far from random.
4 things cats consider when choosing their favorite human, according to a cat expert:
If you've spent a lot of time with cats, you've likely seen their human preferences in action. My best friend and his husband, for example, had two cats, and each had obvious preferences not only for the two of them but also for all the people in their large friend group.
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Whenever I'd come over, one would be in my lap making biscuits the minute I sat down, while the other didn't care whether I lived or died — and honestly seemed to hope it was the latter. But she LOVED our other friend Jen because she also seemed to just hate men in general, despite having two dads… Cats are nothing if not enigmatic!
Cat expert and feline content creator @prideofkittycats says none of this is mere luck of the draw. Just like us humans, cats have a sort of mental list of red and green flags they look for that determine who they gravitate towards most. And especially if you're new to the cat life, it can provide a useful guide on how to get into your cat's good graces.
1. Who provides the best and most consistent care
"Cats often choose their favorite person based on who provides the most consistent care, affection, and attention," the expert said, which is really a no-brainer. Cats, like all animals, are creatures of habit, so to speak, and whoever is the guy or gal who gets their food in the bowl at the right time and keeps their litter box neat and tidy is going to be winning major brownie points.
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This is especially true if you're the type who gives them their favorites. As one social media commenter put it, "it's whoever gives them the wet food." It's not quite that simple, of course, but that certainly goes a long way!
2. Who respects their boundaries
Okay, now wait a minute — boundaries? Are we talking about cats or people in therapy to learn how to be less codependent? No, we're definitely talking about cats. That instinct they have to hold people at arm's length isn't an accident.
Speaking of codependence, there's a reason that the common advice is that cats like people who ignore them. As a person who's allergic to them, I can attest that this is true — cats LOVE me and tend to gravitate towards me instantly, and frankly, the makers of Zyrtec should be cutting me a monthly check.
The point is, cats like their space, and they like to engage on their own terms. Chasing them down for snuggles is a one-way ticket to being persona non grata. Whoever is willing to accept and respect this and just let them do their thing, that's who's going to rise through the ranks of their favoritism.
3. Who understands and respects their body language
"Favorite people create a bond built on trust and positive experiences," the expert said, and the key to this is learning their physical cues and listening to them. Cats have an intricate way of communicating with their bodies, via things like tail movements and ear positions.
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Even their blinking behavior is part of their communication. Here's a hot tip I learned from cat-sitting the aforementioned cats during a months-long emergency. That cat who hates my guts? Two weeks of slowly blinking at her got her to at least warm up enough that she'd sleep on the back of the couch next to me.
Now that's as far as she ever went, and once her dads returned home, she immediately switched back to plotting my death the minute I came through the door. But for our brief period as roommates, it worked! As @prideofkittycats put it, "When you take the time to understand these cues, your kitty will feel more comfortable around you." Even if only temporarily.
4. Whoever is a calm presence
Again: Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries, and @prideofkittycats says this is doubly important if your cat has had past trauma before they came to you. "It's important to remember that every cat is different," she said, "and some take longer to trust."
We all want to have the kind of cat that's instantly snuggled up in the crook of our arm, but sometimes it takes a bit of extra effort, just like us humans. The key, the expert says, is to "be consistent, kind, and understanding. Over time, they will learn to see you as a source of comfort and safety."
John Sundholm is a writer, editor, and video personality with 20 years of experience in media and entertainment. He covers culture, mental health, and human interest topics.
