Therapist Reveals The One Type Of Woman That Usually Crashes Hardest From Debilitating Stress & Burnout
It takes a toll on their mental health.
fizkes / Shutterstock On the surface, women who have successful careers, a steady income, and a stable home life appear to have it all, but appearances can be deceiving.
According to clinical therapist Kristen McClure, one type of woman, in particular, is prone to suffering from debilitating stress and burnout, no matter how put together they may seem to outsiders.
McClure explained that ‘high-achieving, high-masking ADHD women’ are the ones who crash the hardest from stress and burnout.
In her 28 years of experience, McClure has learned that women who suffer from anxiety and ADHD are often the ones who appear to be functioning the best. However, in private, the weight of perfection crashes down on them, sending them into a debilitating spiral of stress and burnout.
McClure elaborated on this in a TikTok video in response to a follower who shared that her husband was against medicating their 7-year-old daughter who was diagnosed with ADHD.
He argued that his wife, who also suffers from ADHD, was never medicated as a child and “turned out fine.”
McClure pointed out that even if adults with ADHD seem to be excelling, they are the ones who actually struggle the most.
“ADHD girls are at such high risk of behavior like perfectionism, silencing themselves, and masking behaviors in order to fit in and succeed in this neurotypical world with relentless demands and expectations of them to feel like they belong,” she said.
Perfectionism is one way that women with anxiety and ADHD attempt to control their environment since they feel so out of control most of the time.
What many people do not realize is that perfectionism stems from low self-esteem and feelings of shame.
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Some adults with ADHD strive for perfection to assuage their fear of failure and meet the same standards as their neurotypical peers. What they do not understand is that they are setting themselves up for unrealistic goals and expectations. As a result, when they fall short, they can crumble from the feelings of additional stress and exhaustion.
Many TikTok users who suffer from ADHD confirmed McClure’s statements.
“Diagnosed at 41. I was high-achieving, successful… until I crashed. I’m so burnt out I can’t even work full-time at the moment,” one person commented. “Me at 30. This has been the toughest year of my life,” another user wrote. “I wasn't diagnosed until I was 36 and my burnout and crash has been so awful,” another user revealed.
Making a deadline at work or getting chores done around the house for women with ADHD looks very different than it does for neurotypical women.
After expending considerable mental energy to psych themselves up for tasks, tackle them, and see them through to completion, they often experience fatigue as a result of the stress and anxiety associated with accomplishing everything on their plate.
Fatigue brings stress and leads to burnout in individuals with ADHD.
Despite their exhaustion, some women will continue to strive for perfection as a way to compensate for the challenges they face due to their condition. However, this only results in them ultimately crashing.
While working and maintaining the image of “doing it all,” women with ADHD often neglect to take proper care of their mental health. Doing so can ultimately exacerbate symptoms.
Some people with ADHD may view slowing down or taking a break as lazy or unproductive, however, it's essential to maintain clarity and overall wellness.
Taking regular breaks can enhance productivity and creativity by preventing mental fatigue and improving cognitive function.
Since the minds of those with ADHD are buzzing with worry from the moment they wake up until they close their eyes at night, they deserve a break and grace more than anyone. However, many of them will struggle to do so, just as much as they struggle to manage everything going on in their personal and professional lives.
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If you know someone who has ADHD and notice how hard they are exerting themselves to get everything done, give them a hug. Let them know that it’s okay to slow down. Offer words of compassion and empathy. Remind them that they are not failing.
They go through more mental turmoil than neurotypical people will ever understand.
If you happen to suffer from ADHD and anxiety, give yourself some grace. Even if you need to take a time-out from it all, the world won’t stop turning.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.