16-Year-Old Asks If He Should Let His Parents With Name Regret Legally Change His Name So They Don’t Have To ‘Live With The Guilt’
"They got the paperwork for the change, presented it to me with 3 choices, and then told me to pick."
Milan Radulovic's Images | CanvaPro Our names are an integral part of our identity — they are the first distinguishing markers of our individuality. That's why it's become almost ubiquitous for parents to want to choose unique monikers for their children.
Like with all trends, however, a fad can quickly lose its luster, which is why a recent survey found that nearly 1 in 10 moms experience name regret with their own babies!
One teen learned about this firsthand after his parents approached him about legally changing the name they gave him sixteen years prior.
16-year-old Sunny took to Reddit to share his story and to ask for advice about how he should handle his parents' latent name regret.
A teen's parents want him to make a legal name change because they ‘regret’ their decision to give him a unique name.
"I'm (16m) my parents youngest kid and the only kid the name based on what they liked vs what the family wanted them to name us. My siblings were all named after family members like both my dad's and mom's families prefer," Sunny wrote.
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Despite these parents choosing the name independent of outside pressure, Sunny explained that they started to regret the decision when he was around 10.
“My parents started to regret my name when I was maybe 10? They started calling me by my middle name and only stopping when I told them it was weird and I liked my first name. When I was 13 they asked me if I ever went by a nickname and I said no.”
For the years following this first discussion, his parents continued bringing up his name, urging him to adopt something “more grown up” and trying to give him nicknames that would allow them to sidestep the hassle of a legal name change. But Sunny has always liked his name.
The teen's parents wanted him to consider a more serious name and offered up three alternatives.
Sunny further explained, that in recent months, "they asked me if I would consider letting them change my name to something different. They said they feel like they named me as a big [expletive] you to their families but felt bad that I had such an unserious name for a man."
Again, despite his parents' reasons, he told them that he liked his name and didn't want to change it.
The teen wrote, “I told them I didn't want to change my name and I always loved the way they talked about finding it." He added, “They said their feelings had changed and they felt like the name being ‘cute and light and full of hope’ wasn't great for going into my adult years.”
Regardless of his objections, they presented him with the paperwork anyway, drawing up three “options” for him to choose from and demanding that he sign it.
While he still refused, Sunny decided to ask Reddit if it was worth the fight with his parents to keep his name.
These parents should not be making their son feel guilty for wanting to keep his name.
A great deal of the debate between Sunny and his parents seems to be coming from fear that the teen's name won't be taken seriously in a professional capacity, at least in their opinion.
Sunny wrote, “They said they don’t want to live with the guilt…They think I should consider the future where I won’t be treated seriously.”
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Yet, commenters argued there was something else lingering in the background of their frustrations, as most parents wouldn’t go through the legal trouble of forcing a child who likes their name and has an identity built around it, to completely change it.
“It’s like they’re trying to prove that being an adult is ‘dark, depressing, and hopeless,’” one commenter wrote. “Let this kid live his life, as ‘sunny’ and joyful as he wants.”
At the end of the day, in most states, parents are unable to legally change their child’s name without their written permission after they turn 14 — safeguarding Sunny from any actions taken without his consent.
“They are your parents,” another commenter argued, “they shouldn’t struggle to place your wants and needs above their own. Don’t agree for the sake of their own guilt…embrace your name!”
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.