Teacher Shares Clever Response To Student Who Asked If He Would Let His Partner Have Friends Of The Opposite Gender
He insisted that there's nothing wrong with your significant other having friends of the opposite gender.
AnnaStills | Shutterstock A public school teacher had a rather brilliant response to a question asked by one of his students regarding how he would feel about his partner having friends of the opposite gender.
In a TikTok video, a teacher named Pierre Fleury explained why the popular debate about a person's significant other having friends who are the opposite gender is rooted in nothing but insecurity.
A teacher shared an important lesson with his class about relationships and whether men and women can be just friends.
In Fleury's video, he recorded himself sitting at the front of the classroom talking with a couple of his young male students. At one point, one of his students, who is off-camera, asked Fleury if he would "let his woman" go out with her male friends. Confused, Fleury doubled down on the word "let" and informed his student that his girlfriend had every right to do anything she wanted.
The teacher stressed that when two adults are in a healthy relationship, neither partner should be subservient to the other.
Fleury pushed the point that his significant other is an adult, and he has no right to control or manipulate who she chooses to hang out with in her spare time. "Are you telling me 'common sense' is, I should believe every man she's with doesn't have the right intentions with her?" Fleury questioned his student.
His student continued, claiming that if his partner went out with five men, how did he know they weren't going to "do something" to her? In response, Fleury inquired how he would know that they had ill intentions toward his girlfriend.
He explained that if it was an issue of trust and his partner decided to cheat with one of her male friends, that's her decision, and it would be more than fine to end the relationship because cheating is a violation of loyalty. But refusing to "let" her go out with particular friends wasn't going to do anything other than disrespect their trust.
Ultimately, the issue for his students was a lack of trust, and by that logic, Fleury questioned why his students would want to be with someone they didn't trust. "What you're stuck on is trying to prevent the cheating," he continued. "If she wants to cheat on you, she's gonna do it."
Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD, a clinical psychologist and professor at Yeshiva University, explained, “To trust means to rely on another person because you feel safe with them and have confidence that they will not hurt or violate you. Trust is the foundation of relationships because it allows you to be vulnerable and open up to the person without having to defensively protect yourself." Without trust, you can never truly be your most vulnerable self, and that means there is no foundation for love.
People need to have friends of the opposite gender for personal growth.
Friendships, in general, are some of the most important relationships that a person can ever have. The right friends will teach you so much about yourself and about love because, compared to romantic love, platonic love is unconditional in a different way. Platonic love allows you to be your truest self without feeling the pressure and expectation that comes with romantic love.
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This debate on whether or not your partner should have friends of the opposite gender is quite tiring. Men and women should be allowed to surround themselves with people from all walks of life without worrying if it'll offend the person they're dating. And frankly, a man having a good group of women friends around him is a green flag because it shows that he can have a relationship with a woman without being attracted to her.
You can't control your partner, especially when it comes to the people they're friends with, something that Fleury pointed out to his students. If you're in a relationship with someone and you don't trust them to still be loyal when they're out with friends of the opposite gender, then you should not be with that person; instead, you should be working on your trust issues.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.