Teacher Insists Student’s Mom Invite All 30 Classmates To Her Apartment For Her Son’s Birthday Sleepover So No One Feels Left Out
She pointed out that her apartment is nowhere near big enough to accommodate 30 kids.
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A | Shutterstock A mom questioned if she might've gone overboard in the response that she gave her son's teacher after she tried to get involved in the planning of her son's birthday party.
Posting to the subreddit r/AITA, the mom claimed that her son's teacher was insisting she include all of his classmates for his birthday party sleepover despite the inconvenience.
A mom said her son's teacher insisted that she invite 30 classmates to her apartment for her son's birthday sleepover so no one felt left out.
"My son, Sam, had his ninth birthday today, but we're having the actual party tomorrow night, which is just a sleepover at our apartment with two friends," she began in her Reddit post.
She explained that one of her son's friends was in his class while the other went to a different school.
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While her son was on his way home from school one day, she received a call from his teacher, Lorna, who requested that the party should involve all of his classmates instead of just one.
She learned about the birthday sleepover because it had come up during class after his classmates had wished him a happy birthday. At first, she politely declined the suggestion, pointing out that it's just not reasonable to have over 30 kids in her apartment that she'll have to entertain and take care of.
The teacher insisted that student birthday parties should include invitations to every child in the class without considering the logistics.
However, the teacher continued to insist that no child should be left out of a birthday party, especially when it's from one of their classmates.
That's when Sam's mom informed the teacher that how many kids she invited to her son's sleepover party wasn't really her concern, and her apartment simply could not accommodate more than two extra kids at a time.
"She says that because other students are involved, she does and that I should have the party somewhere that can allow all students," she recalled her son's teacher saying.
While the sentiment that no child should be left out of celebrating a birthday party is valid, that's not quite what's happening here. She shouldn't have to cram 30 children into her small apartment just to appease her son's teacher when the party was always supposed to be smaller.
Girl Scouts’ Developmental Psychologist Andrea Bastiani Archibald agrees. Bastiani argued that while the theory is nice, it's certainly not always feasible to invite all kids, and it might not be pleasurable for your child either. The only exception to this would be if you hosted a party and invited 28 classmates out of 30, but that clearly isn't this situation.
If the teacher truly is worried about the other students feeling left out, then she could probably try to organize something in the classroom instead of putting that burden on one of her student's parent. It's definitely overstepping boundaries by inserting herself into business that she, honestly, doesn't need to be worried about, especially as a teacher.
Annoyed at the teacher's suggestion, the young boy's mother turned the tables on her.
"I tell her, 'Okay, what's your address?' and when she asked why, I told [her], 'Since you think you have a say and you want all your students to be a part, we might as well have the party have [your] house,'" she continued.
Taken aback by the retort, she recalled there being a bit of a pause from her son's teacher before she claimed that she didn't mean the party should be hosted at her house.
Admitting that she might've taken the situation too far, the young boy's mother ended up looking up her address and sent her an email asking, "How does this sound?" with an excerpt of the group email chain saying that her son's teacher would be hosting the party. She claimed that she wasn't actually planning to send it to anyone but just wanted to prove a point.
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While the teacher's suggestion was definitely out of line, it was made in good faith with the best interest of all the kids in her class in mind; the young boy's mother didn't have to stoop to an even lower level by, essentially, being a bit creepy and looking up the teacher's address.
She could've simply shot down her son's teacher's idea and left it at that, and if she had anything else to say about the birthday sleepover, then she would've been well within her right to bring it up to the school administration and have them handle it.
But choosing to be petty doesn't quite solve the issue and, in fact, just makes everything more of a mess. There was definitely a way to handle the teacher's intrusion in a more graceful yet assertive manner.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.