Teacher Debunks The Idea That Mean Girls Exist & Explains What Actually Causes Girls To Be Perceived That Way
Young girls need to be taught proper communication.
Eren Li | Pexels Many of us are familiar with the iconic 2004 film "Mean Girls." The film follows Cady Heron as she navigates public school for the first time and deals with other mean girls, including Regina George, the head of "The Plastics, " and her new friend, Janis Ian. The stereotype of mean girls and a social hierarchy has been ingrained in most of us since childhood, but what if mean girls aren't actually real, and there's a greater underlying issue?
Teacher @kbinsea took to TikTok to share that the mean girl trope is actually a myth! She said, “Girls are not mean. They have just been told that they can’t directly communicate who they do and don’t want to spend time with.”
A teacher debunked the myth that mean girls exist and explained why girls are perceived that way.
The problem, according to the teacher, is that we don't teach girls how to properly ask for what they want. Specifically, we need to teach girls that it's okay not to want to spend time with everyone as long as they communicate it properly. "When we see very young children expressing who they don't want to be around, we need to teach them to be kind, specific, and honest," the Gen X teacher said. It's crucial that girls are taught to use specific language about why they don't want to be around someone and that they have the right to communicate that to another person.
She added that adults need to support girls' communication, but girls are often taught not to express what they want. As a result, they often resort to hurtful behaviors that isolate people they don't want to be around, which contributes to the mean girl stereotype.
Encouraging direct communication from young girls and facilitating that communication will help children become better human beings who know how to be firm with their boundaries and are willing to accept their mistakes and learn from them. According to Learning Leaders, communication skills are essential for the growth and development of children. They also help children express themselves clearly and can help to increase their self-confidence.
Commenters shared their own anecdotes of being perceived as mean girls for simply not wanting to play with other children.
"I can't tell you how many times I or other girls in my class got in trouble for 'excluding' because we didn't want to play with everyone all the time," the most liked comment read. "The boys were never called 'cliquey,' but we were."
This commenter brought up a great point; I mean, you never really hear the term "mean boys" getting thrown around the way "mean girls" does. Boys get to choose who they want to hang out with with no outside pressures and get to be labeled as "drama-free."
Monkey Business Images | Canva Pro
Meanwhile, girls are constantly pressured to be nice to everyone. If they ever express disdain for hanging out with a certain person, they are made out to be the ones excluding others, even though everyone knows that in the real world, not everyone is going to be friends. These young girls are also often taught to become responsible for the feelings of those around them.
Another commenter shared, "My mother forced me to say 'yes' to playing with anybody who asked. I know she was trying to teach kindness, but in doing so, she taught me my needs come last. I still struggle with saying 'no.'"
Young girls need to be taught proper communication skills.
To avoid young girls acting out for not wanting to hang out with someone, they need to be taught to communicate properly. Kindness and sacrificing your own needs are not the same thing, and girls need to stop feeling that kind of pressure. Girls should not be taught that because of their gender, they need to forego their wants and needs so other people are happy.
And who knows? Maybe if Regina had properly communicated that Janis was being too "obsessed" with her instead of cutting her out, they wouldn't have had their huge falling out that led to the events of their junior year.
Sahlah Syeda is a writer for YourTango who covers entertainment, news, and human interest topics.