4 Ways To Take Better Care Of Yourself When You're Totally Drained, According To A Beverly Hills MD
The perfect combination of traditional and ancient wisdom for your body and soul.
People Images, Yuri A via Shutterstock There's a lot of debate about what counts as real self-care. Does getting a mani-pedi count or is that a beauty industry trick? To get to the truth about what truly counts, Andrea Miller, host of the Getting Open podcast, asked obstetrician-gynecologist Dr. Suzanne Gilberg-Lenz (a.k.a. Dr. Suzanne) what truly enhances women's well-being.
Dr. Suzanne didn't disappoint. At the heart of your self-care should be caring for yourself as well as you care for others in your life. That means prioritizing your health, happiness and well-being — not just your appearance. If taking care of yourself includes beauty-based rituals, that's OK! But Dr. Suzanne wants us to go a little deeper.
Four self-care rituals that reignite your spark when you're feeling drained
1. Practice telling yourself that you deserve to be happy and healthy
"I want people to like and love themselves," Dr. Suzanne explains. "When we center that, we are more capable of having an authentic experience with ourselves and others. And that leads us to [seek out more and better resources] and to believe that we deserve those resources."
As we practice knowing ourselves and appreciating who we are, we can listen to our inner voice — giving us the ability to see what we truly need. Not just the fancy face mask for smoother skin, but the sustaining sustaining forms of self-care that keep us happy and healthy. From there, insists Dr. Suzanne, being authentically present and feeling joy can follow — as can caring for advocating for others.
2. Find a form of meditation that works for you
In their conversation, Miller shouted out the benefits of meditation as her go-to for self-care, but cautioned that it took her a long time to figure out how to make it work. For her, that meant guided meditation — the type that has someone talking you through the meditation (via an app, video or audio track), rather than just silence or relaxing music.
Miller shared that she's met many others who struggled with standard meditation and are hesitant to try guided. She suggests people try different guided programs until they find one that resonates with them. The voice of the guide, background music and even the nature of the meditation (spiritual, religious, and even non-spiritual/non-religious meditations all exist!) can vary and each person will need something different.
Dr. Suzanne agrees, and so does the research! Not only has meditation been shown to help reduce depression, a study by researchers at Harvard Medical School and Massachusetts General Hospital also showed a reduction in blood pressure in hypertensive patients who were prescribed meditation!
3. Explore a variety of Western and traditional healing to find what works for you
There has long been a battle between what we call "Western medicine" and ancient or traditional medicines, like Traditional Chinese medicine or Ayurveda with each "side" throwing insults toward the other as being toxic or even a scam.
Dr. Suzanne disagrees. As a medical doctor who was trained in and practices modern Western medicine, she believes there's nothing wrong with taking pharmaceutically-developed medicine when needed. But she doesn't dismiss the value of traditional treatments, including plant medicines and herbal remedies, when given by professionals in a therapeutic setting.
"A lot of people don't realize that probably about 30% of our pharmaceuticals do come from the plant world directly," she explains. Aspirin, for instance, comes from willow bark.
"Indian medicine is a lot like Chinese medicine in many ways," Dr. Suzanne told Miller. "They grew up probably around the same time 4,000 or 6000 years ago. Plants, herbal medicine, obviously figure largely in all these paradigms because that was the available medicine," said Dr. Lenz.
When we look at countries like Germany families with higher socioeconomic status rely on complementary medicines regularly, according to research from the British Journal of Clinical Pharmacology. There isn't such a battle between the two categories of care and that likely benefits everyone.
So if you're not finding adequate relief from something that ails you, seek a second opinion and explore complementary care. Prioritizing your well-being is a big part of true self-care!
4. Ayurvedic oil massage
Dr. Gilberg-Lenz also shared the immense value of practicing Abhyanga massage. This traditional Ayurvedic oil massage has been shown in smaller, preliminary studies to reduce stress levels, even by clinical standards.
The best news is, you don't have to spend a lot or go to a spa to experience the benefits. While Abhyanga massages have traditionally been performed by a masseuse, self-massage works great, and is a wonderful addition to your self-care rituals. It's also extremely easy to do and can be done with any cooking oil, though Dr. Suzanne recommends using an organic oil.
Dr. Suzanne also shares that you can self-massage at the end of a warm shower, and shares the steps for doing so. It's lovely to take your time and really get into your muscles and relax, but you can also do a shorter version at the end of each shower. For added self-care benefits, she suggests adding a drop of cosmetic-quality essential oil, sharing that rose is a really nice, calming oil for our nerves.
How to give yourself a hot oil massage:
At the end of a warm shower, (while still standing in the shower to help reduce mess) apply oil and massage it into your skin for 60-90 seconds. For stability, sit on a shower stool and put a washcloth or two on the shower floor and a nice bathmat outside the shower to reduce the risk of slipping when you're done.
"You move in long strokes on the long parts of your body," Gilberg-Lenz explains. You'll go from fingers to palms, to wrists, to arms, to elbows, all the way up to both sides of your body. This includes the breast, butt, and everything else like your feet. She described it as "very nourishing." But, what does this do?
Research from the journal Molecules stated that using essential oils helped with fatigue, memory problems, behavioral symptoms, cravings, and sleep problems.
Dr. Lenz also added that this type of massage is "great for your skin." It releases oxytocin (the hormone love) and helps calm your nerves. Furthermore, it restarts your day and gets you into the habit of taking care of yourself.
It's an easy thing to do that'll cost very little time and money. As long as you're consistent with it, expect to see results instantly as your nerves and stress fade away.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.