11 Subtle Ways To Show You're In Charge Without Saying A Single Word
Conveying self-assuredness and confidence is more energetic than practical.
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A | Shutterstock.com Maintaining the energetic aura of a great leader is rooted in assuredness, but there's a level of empathy and compassion that only the best leaders can perfect. From making people feel heard, like a study from PLOS One suggests is essential for relationships of all kinds, to ensuring they have space to feel valued, the subtle ways to show you're in charge without saying a single word often start with empowering others to believe in both themselves and in you.
Of course, grasping onto control or being placed in a leadership position without great habits and practical techniques for leading is inevitable to fail. Not only are you not showing people you're in charge, but you're not leading from a place of empathy — even if it's in your personal life, in a marriage or with your kids, or at work leading a team of co-workers.
Here are 11 subtle ways to show you're in charge without saying a single word
1. Maintain eye contact
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We often associate the people in charge or effective leaders from various aspects of our lives with higher self-esteem, confidence, and self-assuredness. According to a study from Self and Identity, our body language is one of the incredibly influential subtle ways to show you're in charge without saying a single word. Specifically, being able to maintain eye contact with another person in conversation is an indicator of confidence and self-worth, according to the study's experts.
Telling someone that you're a leader or that you're in charge isn't always convincing, but when we embody the confident spirit of an effective leader, we don't have to "prove" ourselves.
2. Walk with confidence
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A study from Ohio State University found a direct link between good posture and confidence, especially when it's prioritized while walking or interacting with others. Our nonverbal body language cues hold a lot of power, not just within ourselves — boosting self-worth and confidence — but also in defining our social interactions.
When we walk with an aura of authority and confidence — taking our time, holding our shoulders back, and walking at a calm, steady pace — we don't have to verbally tell people that we're in charge; rather, they automatically assume we're in control and self-assured.
3. Stop fidgeting
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According to a study published in Frontiers in Psychology, fidgeting or moving around too much is often a sign of anxiety, nervousness, or fear, a few characteristics that many people struggle to associate with confident competency and leadership. When we stop ourselves from fidgeting whenever possible, we convey a more calm sense of confidence.
Another one of the subtle ways to show you're in charge without saying a single word is to hone in this extra and often unnecessary fidgeting. Urge people to focus on your message and what you have to say, before you even get a chance to say a word.
4. Take up space
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Whether you're in a work meeting, sitting with your partner, or meeting someone new, don't try to shrink away and be any less of your authentic self. If you're more comfortable with physically taking up space by crossing your legs or opening up your posture, do that. But you're also able to create emotional space for yourself by demanding respect in conversation with a calm, cool, and collected persona that people are drawn to listen to.
While moving slower is generally associated with an aura of sadness, like a study from Frontiers in Psychology suggests, when coupled with a calm demeanor and confident body language, we seem less anxious and more in control.
5. Speak through your silence
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By speaking with your body language and nonverbal facial cues, you can help ensure that you command a room, conversation, and interaction, even without saying a word. Experts like clinical psychologist David Susman, PhD even argue that the "chameleon effect" can be helpful in commanding attention and conveying confidence, mirroring other people's gestures, sayings, and general body language, as it helps us to make better connections and have better conversations.
The magnetic auras of confident leaders don't start with what they have to say — they're able to convey a sense of confidence and self-assuredness that lives in their nods, eye contact, posture, calm demeanor, and even the micro-expressions of their face when talking with someone else.
6. Speak slowly
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When we speak quickly, jumble our words, or start talking before we've had a chance to process the information around us, we tend to come off as more anxious and less competent than a more confident person who slowly takes their time. There's no rush, especially if you're helping to make someone else feel heard by listening, to get your point across.
Maintaining a slow cadence while talking is an incredibly important indicator for confident people, according to experts from Cannon Voice Training, as it indicates composure, intentionality, and thoughtfulness.
7. Ask for help
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According to a study from Management Science, people who are comfortable asking for help and advice are often perceived as more competent than others, feeding into their ability to garner respect from their peers, express their confidence, and show they're in charge without saying a single word.
When we ask other people for help, making them feel useful and valued, they begin to associate those positive and empowering feelings with us. The best and most effective leaders can make entire teams of people feel comfortable and respected, helping them to grasp onto their power and control in various aspects of life, sometimes without giving a speech or having constant communication.
8. Smile more
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Oftentimes, our ability to lead and subtly show others we're in charge has less to do with our own leadership tactics and healthy habits and more to do with how we're able to make other people feel. When we make connections and spark organic conversations, helping them to feel more heard and valued, they associate those empowering feelings with our character.
A study from Scientific Reports even argues that smiling while connecting with others can play a role in helping people convey confidence without saying a word, as beaming conversationalists are often perceived as more competent and intelligent than their smug counterparts.
9. Be more curious
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According to psychology expert Art Markman, there's an important link between curiosity — wanting to know more — and internal confidence. When we're driven by curiosity, we often seek out more fulfilling experiences, connections, conversations, and knowledge. We're confident in our ability to connect, but also problem-solve and commit to learning something new.
When we express curiosity about other people in conversations, we make space for them to feel heard and appreciated, but we also leave them with a similar aura of curiosity that follows them back to their personal lives and urges them to see us as more intelligent and competent.
10. Dress appropriately
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When you feel good about yourself, those positive and confident vibes are passed onto other people, your interactions, and ability to have great conversations. When we dress for the right occasions, even if we're dressing up a little more than everyone else, we can cultivate a confident aura of belongingness, control, and competency that other people skipping out on self-care don't have the ability to outwardly express.
11. Opt for a more welcoming attitude
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Making people feel appreciated, especially in leadership roles, revolves around their ability to feel comfortable and respected. Showing other people that you're in charge can mean setting boundaries and using assertive language, but it mostly revolves around your ability to lead with empathy and make people feel safe and secure in your leadership.
According to Harvard psychologist Amy Cuddy, conveying a sense of warmth, especially in places like the workplace, can be incredibly influential for characterizing your self-respect, competency, and confidence. Making people feel comfortable with this warm demeanor helps to cultivate an important sense of trust that fuels the subtle ways to show you're in charge without saying a single word.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.