11 Subtle Ways Millennials Are Quietly Opting Out Of A Traditional Life Plan
Millennials refuse to play by the rules of their parents.
Irina Bg | Shutterstock For all the stability and abundance they were promised as kids, millennials know that their lives have diverged from what their parents went through at the same age. Millennials were raised with the assumption that they'd be married with kids and a home in the suburbs by age 30, but their reality is totally different.
The world that millennials expected to inherit doesn't exist, which means they're reassessing how they want to exist in the world they have. Blink and you might miss them, but there are several subtle ways millennials are quietly opting out of a traditional life plan. They're redefining what makes life fulfilling, on their own terms.
Here are 11 subtle ways millennials are quietly opting out of a traditional life plan
1. They're not buying houses
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Millennials were sold a story about the American Dream they might not get to achieve. While their boomer parents bought houses in their late 20s, millennials aren't, showing that they're not following a traditional life path like their parents.
Less than 55% of millennials own their home, due to economic and social changes. They're getting priced out of the housing market, and there's less inventory for them to buy, as older people are staying in their homes during their retirement years, instead of selling them and downsizing.
Millennials lived through the housing market crash, and they know firsthand that owning a home doesn't always guarantee financial security. They're saying "no" to taking out a mortgage and embracing the rental lifestyle, as it provides more flexibility with less risk.
2. They're living with roommates
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Many millennials graduated college into the Great Recession, which meant their post-graduation dreams of a cute studio apartment all for themselves went up in smoke. At this point in their lives, millennials have muscled through several economic downturns that have held them back from hitting major life milestones.
It's easy for older generations to complain that millennials are stuck in extended adolescence, but they're overlooking the challenges they have faced while trying to assert their independence. They can't afford to buy a home or rent on their own, so they're living with roommates, and it's one of the subtle ways millennials are quietly opting out of a traditional life plan.
For millennials in 2020, the median household income was $71,566, yet studies show they were spending over $70,000 a year. They've essentially been living paycheck to paycheck while carrying the crushing weight of student loan debt and high inflation rates.
3. They travel the world
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Millennials can't actually afford to own a home, pay off their student loans, or save for retirement, but that's not stopping them from living their best life now. Millennials are committed to traveling the world. After all, they're a generation devoted to the idea of buying a special treat, and there's nothing quite as special as taking a trip.
According to a survey from travel site TripIt millennials travel more than their Gen X and boomer predecessors do, and they spare no cost when they do it.
Millennials are still living with a YOLO mindset, meaning they'll shell out for their dream trip instead of downgrading to a more affordable destination. Over one-third of millennials said they take four or more trips every year and almost half said they splurge on their travel plans.
4. They've stopped climbing the corporate ladder
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When they were kids, millennials were told that they could be anything they wanted, as long as they worked hard. They burned the corporate candle at both ends, but now, they're finding out that they don't want to live like that anymore. Millennials are exhausted by their exhaustion and they're climbing back down the corporate ladder.
While researching generational qualities, psychology professor Dr. Jean Twenge found that the biggest generational difference between boomers and millennials was "in work-life balance or in leisure values."
They're willing to give up a hefty paycheck in return for more downtime. As Dr. Twenge discovered, "Millennials were much more likely to say they wanted a job... that was more flexible. They thought that work was going to be a less central part of their lives."
"They'll do good work for you but they really, really crave that flexibility and they want to be able to have work-life balance and be able to have their life outside of work as well," she concluded.
It's not that millennials are walking away from their jobs or even quiet quitting. They're just putting themselves first, and releasing their devotion to the hustle culture they came of age with.
5. They spend money on experiences not material possessions
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One of the subtle ways millennials are quietly opting out of a traditional life plan is by spending their money on experiences over material possessions, which sets them apart from the boomers who raised them. They're rejecting the idea of status symbols.
In fact, 78% of millennials said they're more likely to spend money on experiences over physical products. They want to see the world, go out to eat, and hear their favorite bands play way more than they want to own things.
Millennials see themselves as conscious consumers. They don't just buy for the sake of buying. They want their purchasing power to make an actual difference. Additionally, 75% of millennials said they consider sustainability and social responsibility when they spend money on clothes. After all, they want to look cute to attend their favorite band's 30th anniversary tour.
6. They're not getting married
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As much as millennials love flower crowns and photo ops, they're not getting married the way past generations did. Some millennials are opting out of marriage because they don't want that particular part of a traditional life plan, yet others are making that decision for purely financial reasons, as the average cost of a wedding in 2025 is $33,000.
According to data from Pew Research Center, over half of millennials aren't married, and those who are married did so later in life. Even though they're not tying the knot, that doesn't mean they're neglecting romantic relationships entirely. More millennials live with their partners than Gen X did at the same age, showing that they're still pushing up against social norms and making their own path as they go.
7. They're not having kids
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The high cost of living doesn't just impact millennial marriage trends, it also has a ripple effect on their decision to have kids. As Pew Research Center pointed out, "Millennials trail previous generations at the same age across three typical measures of family life: living in a family unit, marriage rates and birth rates."
In 2019, over half of millennial women had given birth, yet the percentage of millennial moms was still smaller than the generations before them.
Millennial women who do have kids are waiting longer to do so, and many millennials are first-time moms in their 40s. They might not be young anymore, but it's one of the subtle ways millennials are quietly opting out of a traditional life plan, pushing the needle for social change, starting at home.
8. They prioritize their well-being over work
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Millennials spent the first half of their lives rising and grinding. They were girl bosses with side hustles, and they were going to take over the world. Now, millennials are middle aged and tired. They've pushed themselves past their limits, and they're making their mental health their top priority.
According to management professor Dr. Megan Gerhardt, the message that defined "the millennial generation [was] that you absolutely at minimum had to get a 4-year degree," she explained. "And now we've got a lot of people with a lot of loan debt and not a good job."
Dr. Gerhardt warned against making generational stereotypes, like calling all millennials lazy and entitled, just because they want actual work-life balance.
"What we're missing when we just look at that tiny piece is that people across generations have very similar intrinsic needs," she explained. "So whether you're 20 or 60 or 40 or anywhere in between, we all need respect. We all need connection. We want to be seen as competent. We all need autonomy."
It took them years to get there, but millennials are finally opting out of making work their entire identity. They're choosing their mental health over their jobs, and they're better off for it.
9. They choose a minimalist lifestyle
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For millennials, minimalism is more than a design trend, it's a way to opt out of the traditional life plan. According to Millennial Magazine, millennials "have learned that spending money on things they don't really need is counterproductive. They simply don't want to make the same mistakes their parents did, so they're opting for less spending."
"Unlike the previous generations, millennials can't afford lavish homes and expensive furniture," the magazine pointed out. They "need to pay back hundreds of thousands of dollars of college debt [and] can't really afford to buy expensive items just to show off in front of others."
"In embracing minimalism, millennials are redefining fulfillment by prioritizing quality over quantity and focusing on what truly matters," the magazine revealed. "They've discovered a way to improve their lives and be responsible at the same time."
10. They invest in their pets
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Millennials might not be having kids, but they are devoted pet parents, and they're willing to invest in their cuddly, non-traditional family life. According to the MetLife 2022 Pet Parent Pulse survey, 84% of people with perfect, fuzzy dependents said that the cost of care had noticeably increased.
In true millennial fashion, over one-third said that they felt stressed about the financial responsibility of pet parenthood, but their anxieties don't keep them from investing in their furbabies. Despite high costs, 11% of pet owners said they wouldn't make any financial sacrifices around their pets, so that their furry friends get to keep living their best life.
11. They're still learning new things
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One of the subtle ways millennials are quietly opting out of a traditional life plan is by continuing to learn and seek out higher education. Millennials were raised to believe that going to college would guarantee success and security. While that lesson proved to be a lie, millennials are still singularly focused on their education.
They challenge themselves to learn new things in any way they can. Millennials want jobs with purpose. They want to feel passionate about what they do. They seek out mentors and other alternative ways to access continuing education, because they know the value of expanding their minds.
Alexandra Blogier, MFA, is a staff writer who covers psychology, social issues, relationships, self-help topics, and human interest stories.
