11 Subtle Traits Of A Popular Person, According To Psychology

Spending a large portion of my life in my head and nervous around people, it’s taken me a long time to understand others. The more I learned about human nature, and the more interest I took in others, the less self-conscious I became.

Now I’m far more attuned. This has helped my social life considerably.

Here are 11 subtle traits of a popular person, according to psychology

1. They ask lots of questions about you

two people sitting and talking Jopwell / Pexels

If someone appears to have a near-incessant fascination with you and asks lots of questions that aren’t merely superficial, they are likely attracted to you, one Harvard study found.

2. They laugh quickly

two girls laughing and walking Savannah Dematteo / Pexels

Laughter is the best medicine, and people are more likely to gravitate to you if you can make them smile. Researchers from Arizona State University even found that people are attracted to other people who can make them laugh.

3. They don't pull away when touched

group of friends holding each other and laughing Hannah Nelson / Pexels

I’m not about to encourage you to touch others without awareness. Some boundaries require nuance in understanding. But in the right moments, should you touch and no effort is made to recoil, this is a good sign.

4. They hold eye contact with you

couple holding eye contact Phovoir / Pexels

Particularly in this ‘eyes on screen’ world, holding eye contact is entering into fairly intimate territory. Holding someone’s eyes is like charging another with a kind of human electricity. If someone isn’t looking away after a couple of seconds, it’s often a sign they are receptive to your energy, and could mean they're attracted to you, one study from 2024 states.

5. They make efforts or hints about meeting again

two men sitting in a coffee shop talking Helena Lopes / Pexels

You know someone likes you when you're with them and they're already talking about the next time you'll see each other again.

6. They reciprocate much of what you do

man and a woman standing and talking to each other fauxels / Pexels

So, for example, if you poke them teasingly, they will poke back. Reciprocation often communicates: ‘I like what you do and want to show you that I like it.’ Research from 2018 indicates that teasing is a healthy sign of a relationship.

7. They offer to give you stuff

woman giving man a gift Prostock-studio / Shutterstock

A great indication of interest is when someone gives you gifts or offers to pay for things (beyond the expected etiquette of paying for things like drinks on a date, which one YouGov poll states most men already do). If someone offers to invest money or more time with you, this is a strong sign.

8. They share their flaws

Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels

People willing to transgress typical conversational superficialities into sharing things that reveal a darker, less socially acceptable, or less pristine image demonstrate something interesting.

They like and trust you to the degree they are comfortable doing this, which should not be treated lightly. Trust is the foundation for any relationship, according to research from 2023.

9. They mirror you physically

people sitting opposite of each other talking cottonbro studio / Pexels

You lean in, and so do they. You touch your ear, and so do they.

You tilt your head, as do they. Mirroring reflects an innate — often unconscious — desire to connect with someone they are attracted to, research claims.

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10. They fidget

person fidgeting Imageologist / Shutterstock

This isn’t always the case — but often, when people are shifty around you, it shows they value doing well in their interaction with you. Such nervousness reflects their need to perform for you, indicating interest and desire. People also fidget to release tension in their bodies, one 2023 study found.

11. They talk a lot

two men sitting next to the sand talking to each other Mental Health America (MHA) / Pexels

When others talk a lot with you, it could simply be that they are big talkers. Many are.

But if they are talking more than they are known to, or there is an apparent looseness in their speaking — this is often a sign they are comfortable with you, which is rooted, often, to their liking of you.

Alex Mathers is a writer and coach who helps you build a money-making personal brand with your knowledge and skills while staying mentally resilient.