6 Subtle Behaviors You’ve Developed Because Of A Fear Of Being Perceived
You may be surprised how many of these you've developed.
fizkes | Shutterstock Being perceived can be scary. Knowing that each word you speak and each action you take can be interpreted and possibly misconstrued by anyone can be quite daunting.
That's why many people will do whatever they can to take up as little space as possible, and you may, too, without even realizing it.
Here are 6 subtle behaviors you’ve developed because of a fear of being perceived:
A life coach on TikTok named Francesca offers advice and information from a psychological perspective to help others improve and grow.
In a recent video, she offered six subtle behaviors a person might exhibit if they fear being seen. These habits might not outwardly appear like avoidance, which is why it's so important to acknowledge them and course-correct so you can flourish and present to the world as the strong and independent person you truly are.
1. You avoid attention at all costs
It's okay not to want to be the center of attention all the time, but if you constantly limit yourself to the background, it may be because you don't want to be perceived.
You may find yourself avoiding leadership roles and declining opportunities so that you don't have any extra eyes on you. Surprisingly, it can even impact your love life as fear of attention can also translate into fear of meeting new people.
According to a 2022 research-based article, people may go so far as to avoid any and all instances where they might be noticed to avoid even the potential for discomfort or stress. VeryWellmind stressed that, ultimately, this fear of being seen will have a negative impact on all aspects of life, both personal and professional, and exploring the root cause of the anxiety, as well as using exposure therapy, can be highly beneficial.
2. You're scared to share your opinion
Thanks to social media, it seems that everyone has an opinion these days, but people with a fear of being perceived are much happier keeping those opinions to themselves.
Even when everyone is encouraged to share how they feel, you keep quiet. You're afraid of causing controversy and having people know what you're thinking. If you find yourself wanting to speak up, you may even tell yourself it's not worth it because of how others may react.
This is not only stifling but detrimental to personal growth. Catering to social conformity in all aspects of life means holding yourself back from your core beliefs and all the things that make you, well ... you!
3. You have closed-off body language
Dean Drobot | Canva Pro
You're standing in the corner, avoiding eye contact, arms crossed — does that sound like someone approachable to you? Probably not.
According to Research, actions such as crossing your arms or hunched shoulders might be used as self-protection, but to the outsider looking in, they can negatively impact perception. Closed-off body language doesn't just keep people away; it makes them view you as dishonest, angry, and even disinterested. So, basically, those body language cues that you think keep you invisible are making people judge you all the more.
4. You find it difficult to accept compliments
Compliments can be tricky. While most people delight in knowing others think highly of them, they can be awkward and anxiety-inducing.
The Harvard Business Review pointed out that compliments create conflict between people's own views of themselves, which are often negative, and other people's positive views.
Sometimes, this disparity can make a person afraid of accepting praise because it means others will think they're capable of more than they feel they can deliver. Meaning being uncomfortable is a product of an unconscious act of self-protection.
5. You don't want to show your face in pictures
If people taking pictures causes you anxiety because you don't want to be photographed, ask yourself what the root cause of that feeling is. Are you anxious about your appearance? Is it a fear of being seen on social media? Are you afraid people will judge you based on your looks?
The fact is, we are our own worst critics, and your self-judgment, especially when it comes to appearance, is far harsher than how others likely perceive you. Research has even shown that others are far less likely to find the flaws that you see in yourself.
6. You don't advocate for yourself
When you need help, you don't ask for it for fear of being seen as weak or helpless. When you want to be involved in a project, you don't volunteer yourself.
Everyone wants certain things, but it's unfair to expect the people around us to read our minds. People may even take advantage of the fact that you don't advocate for yourself.
For example, you may want a salary raise, and you know you deserve it. However, your boss knows you won't ask for it, so he won't go out of his way to give it to you.
Ultimately, being perceived is scary but inevitable.
No matter what you do or how small you try to force yourself to become, you will be noticed, so it's best to start getting used to taking up space.
Social anxiety is a far-reaching condition, Fallon Goodman, an assistant professor of psychology at the University of South Florida, told CNN. “About 4% of the world population will have social anxiety disorder at some point in their lives, which is roughly 300 million people.”
You should never feel alone in your fear of being perceived or seen, but if it impacts the quality of your life, you shouldn't ignore it either. Cognitive behavioral therapy is extremely effective in teaching anyone suffering with how to start engaging with life again and actually enjoy social situations.
Sahlah Syeda is a writer for YourTango who covers entertainment, news, and human interest topics.