10 Subconscious Things People Do That Make Others Ignore Them, According To Psychology
It's best to look inside yourself and find out why people don't want to be around you.
PeopleImages.Com - Yuri A | Shutterstock Being ignored can lead to feelings of self-doubt and inadequacy. Purposefully dismissive behavior can be an indication of bullying, yet sometimes people ignore others without knowing that they're doing so.
People who get ignored might not understand why it happens, so looking inward at their own actions and attitudes can help them figure out the root causes.
Here are 10 subconscious things people do that make others ignore them
1. They only talk about themselves
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Successful social interactions are a balancing game between two people: One person talks while the other listens, and then those positions switch. Yet some people have a tendency to dominate conversations. They interrupt others and talk over them, or steer the conversation topic back to themselves.
People don't always realize when they're being self-centered in conversations. Often, it's a subconscious result of feeling nervous or insecure. Because they're worried about fitting in, they talk about themselves in a way that's off-putting to other people.
2. They have negative energy
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People who come off as overly critical tend to be ignored by those around them. No one likes feeling cornered or criticized, which is why they don't pay attention to people who give off negative energy.
Whether it's a friend who emotionally dumps on you or a co-worker who complains about how stressed they are, it's common to want to distance yourself from that kind of negativity.
Researchers from Princeton University looked into the ways that one person's emotions can transfer to other people. The study found that emotional contagion can occur without face-to-face interaction or through social media as well.
Since emotions can be passed between people, it's not surprising that someone with a negative attitude gets ignored, because no one wants to be brought down by another person.
3. They take more than they give
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Relationships are built on a sense of reciprocity, meaning that there's an equitable division of give and take between two people. Sometimes, one person in a partnership or friendship needs more support than the other, yet that individual will return the support when needed.
As one psychologist explained, feelings of reciprocal care and love are necessary to build a healthy relationship. If one person takes more than they're willing to give, their relationship is likely inherently imbalanced.
It's fairly common for someone who zaps other people's emotional energy to be ignored, which is why it's so important to check in with people and offer to help them out when they're down.
4. They don't speak their minds
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While one aspect of being ignored has to do with talking too much, landing on the other side of that spectrum can also lead to being dismissed.
People who don't stand up for themselves or share their viewpoints tend to get ignored by people around them. Having a passive personality makes it easy to overlook someone, as though they were just part of the background instead of standing out from the crowd.
This kind of dismissiveness isn't usually malicious, but it can still make someone feel like they're less valued than others.
5. They're inattentive
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A person who seems like they're not paying attention to what's going on around them can be easily ignored by others.
By acting aloof or not tuning into conversations, someone can give off the impression that they don't really care about the people they're with, which then leads those people to ignore them.
Feeling left out can build on itself, in that the more we feel ignored or neglected, the more we tend to act like we don't care, even when we do.
6. They brag about their accomplishments
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A study published in "Psychological Science" found that there's a thin line between sharing positive news and being seen as bragging. The researchers posited that people lean toward self-promotion when they're trying to make a good impression on others, yet it often backfires, making them seem less likable.
As Irene Scopelliti, the lead author of the study, explained, "When we engage in self-promotion ourselves, we tend to overestimate others' positive reactions and underestimate their negative ones."
Bragging can make people feel inferior or self-conscious about their own lives, which might lead them to ignore the person who's showing off.
7. They have closed-off body language
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According to psychologists from Princeton University, it only takes one-tenth of a second to form a first impression of another person.
Our facial expressions send distinct messages about our personalities, even when we're unaware of them. This means that someone who's frowning or avoiding making eye contact often comes off as angry or unapproachable, which leads people to ignore them.
Showing open, relaxed body language, like standing up straight and letting your arms hang loosely at your sides, signals that you're socially available and less likely to get ignored.
8. They push people away
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Someone who insists on doing everything by themselves might create their own self-fulfilling prophecy of being ignored by others.
Being hyper-independent is a common trauma response, rooted in a person's lack of trust in the people around them. They tend to push people away, even when they need support, because they're scared of being hurt.
Even though pushing people away is often a form of self-preservation, it can increase a person's sense of isolation, as they tend to be ignored because of the walls they construct around themselves.
9. They can't regulate their emotions
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When a person has low emotional intelligence, they often struggle to keep their feelings in check. They might explode with anger or fall apart at the hint of any discomfort.
Regulating our emotions is a learned behavior, but people who struggle to do so often find that others ignore them. While it's entirely normal and healthy to feel big feelings, the way we express those feelings matters.
10. They have low self-worth
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According to a study from the journal "Personality and Individual Differences," feeling insecure can manifest itself in different ways.
Some people develop inferiority complexes, which means they have low self-confidence and avoid social situations where they might be vulnerable. A person who has a superiority complex also has intense feelings of low self-worth, yet they overcompensate by talking up their abilities and presenting themselves as better than other people.
Both inferiority and superiority complexes can cause someone to be ignored by people in their community. Being ignored can further diminish a person's sense of self-worth.
However, relying on other people's opinions isn't the best way to boost confidence. Instead, validating yourself based on your own internal values leads to long-lasting self-esteem.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers social issues, pop culture analysis and all things to do with the entertainment industry.