11 Struggles Only Self-Aware People Have To Deal With
Being aware of ourselves and others is a superpower, but over-awareness is inevitably taxing.
Ground Picture | Shutterstock.com Mastering the art of self-awareness isn’t just about having a grasp on your own emotional wellbeing, feelings, and situations, it’s also instrumental in shaping our social connections and behavior in relationships. Being aware of ourselves — both as individuals and as partners, friends, workers, and people within society — gives us a better foundation for healthy interactions and personal emotional stability.
Of course, there are also specific struggles only self-aware people have to deal with, as this kind of knowledge isn’t always inherently beneficial. Sometimes, we’re made to acknowledge an awareness about ourselves and others that can be uncomfortable, unproductive, and taxing on our emotional wellbeing.
Here are 11 struggles only self-aware people have to deal with
1. Feeling overworked
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Considering self-aware people tend to have more effective critical thinking skills, according to a study published by the Human Resource Development Review, analyzing uncertain and stressful situations, working towards solutions, and even improvising, they’re often put in leadership roles in various avenues of their lives.
Even in seemingly minor situations, like traveling with a friend group or running into an issue with the bill at dinner, you’re the ushered-in friend — ready to save the day.
While this kind of self-awareness and complex thinking skill can be empowering in some moments, it quickly becomes exhausting — especially as it engrains into your identity and becomes a fixture of your relationships, from the workplace to at home.
2. Feeling stuck or overwhelmed
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According to nervous system coach Dana Doswell, many highly intelligent and self-aware people struggle with living in a functional freeze state in response to trauma, stress, and anxiety.
Often characterized and celebrated for their competency, struggling with uncomfortable emotions, pressure, and isolation in social settings can be incredibly overwhelming — leading to this state of functional freeze and feeling stuck.
This kind of pressure also builds perfectionist attitudes in self-aware people, who tend to view their mistakes as a direct attack on their competency and awareness, two things they’re celebrated for in social and personal situations.
3. Self-inflicted isolation in social situations
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While self-awareness is typically incredibly beneficial for healthy relationships and intentional connections, as a study published in the Personality and Individual Differences journal explains by linking "prosocial behavior” to effective mindfulness and general awareness, there are certain situations that can cause self-aware people to feel like outsiders or outcasts.
According to a study published in Health Psychology Open, nearly 70% of gifted individuals and a significant portion of highly intelligent people struggle with certain feelings of social isolation.
Not only do they generally have a more nuanced understanding of various topics in conversation, they’re generally more self-aware — cognizant of other people’s body language, tone of voice, and general demeanor to a higher degree, sparking feelings of disconnect.
4. Being communicative and articulate in the face of judgment
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Considering people are generally more communicative, introspective, and self-aware in conversations where they feel like they’re being heard, talking through a point, expressing themselves, and making connections is relatively easy and fulfilling for a self-aware person.
However, in the face of judgment or unnecessary criticism, a study from the Annual Review of Organizational Psychology and Organizational Behavior suggests, they can struggle with maintaining open body language, a cohesive train of thought, and other healthy hallmarks of their communication skills like the ability to ask thoughtful questions.
They notice their partner’s anxiety, judgement, or disconnect much more easily than the average person, which can be a detriment not only to their communication skills, but their own levels of stress, anxiety, and isolation.
5. Insecurity and self-conscious thoughts
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While self-awareness is generally spoken about and discussed from a positive framework on healthy relationships and emotional regulation, there are some dark sides to being hyper-aware of yourself and your position in the world that can be equally emotionally taxing.
According to Kendra Cherry, a psychosocial rehab specialist, self-awareness also tends to be linked to self-consciousness — as people are more aware of themselves, including their perceived weaknesses and insecurities in social situations.
This internal over-analysis is often linked to the social isolation many self-aware people experience, as they’re ruminating over the details of conversations, their place in social scenarios, and the micro-expressions and body language of both themselves and others.
6. Aggression
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According to a study published in the Journal of Research in Personality, self-consciousness — as explained above as a common experience amongst self-aware people — is generally associated with higher levels of aggression.
Self-awareness can sometimes cause a heightened emotional sensitivity and irritability around a person’s perceived flaws, sparking aggressive responses to judgment, criticism, and conflict that internally or socially highlights their insecurities.
7. Sabotaging social connections and relationships
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In his book “Self-Management and Leadership Development,” James G.S. Clawson argues that it’s possible for self-awareness to manifest into more self-centered and egocentric behaviors when coupled with narcissism.
This kind of “dysfunctional self-awareness” often misleads seemingly internally self-aware people in social situations, causing them to avoid or ignore information, misread how others perceive them, and act defensively in favor of themselves, like experts from a 2023 investigation on self-awareness explain.
With the blind spots and disconnected narcissistic tendencies can spark, some self-centered people sabotage their relationships — both with themselves and others — without even knowing.
8. Struggles with decision-making
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Considering self-aware people are generally more conscious of different outcomes, solutions, and avenues for resolving conflicts and tricky situations, as a result of their heightened complex thinking skills, they often experience decision-overload.
When they’re not healthily pressured by collaboration and other strong-willed decision-makers, like debating on a personal decision or grappling with uncomfortable emotions of their own, their functional freeze can take over.
Coupled with the decision fatigue that many depressed and overly anxious people experience, a common occurrence in self-aware people without tailored emotional regulation skills, as clinical psychologist Melanie A McNally explains, navigating complex situations and resolutions can prove to be a struggle.
9. Over-internalizing negative social situations
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Over-internalization is one of the struggles self-aware people have to deal with as a consequence of their inherent introspection and awareness of social cues, language, and nonverbal cues.
Especially in the face of judgment or criticism over their competency in social situations, self-aware people tend to ruminate on other people’s perception of them.
Without the emotional regulation tools that many self-aware people have mastered but some have not, this awareness can lead to a great deal of anxious, isolating, and stressful thoughts.
10. Being overly critical of themselves
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According to psychologist Mark Travers, self-aware people tend to be perfectionists that ruminate on their perceived flaws and over-awareness of their own internal thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.
Constantly evaluating their own internal processes, interactions, and social positions, self-aware people fall into a disconnecting spiral of over-analysis that can spark feelings of loneliness and isolation.
Another study published by the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology argues that this kind of perfectionist attitude generally sparks negative feelings of criticism and depression in overly critical self-aware people. All of their perceived mistakes are labelled as failures and they struggle with a constant need to prove themselves in the face of judgment or challenge.
11. Struggling to accept praise
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Many self-aware people also struggle to accept praise for their peers, contributing their perceived success and faults to external factors.
Especially for self-aware people struggling with feelings of inadequacy and insecurity, compliments can spark anxiety, according to a study published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology.
The misalignment between their own harsh self-criticism and other people’s perceived praise urges them to feel misunderstood and unheard — an internal battle of anxiety and isolation they’re plagued with often in their daily lives.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.