5 Ways The Strongest Women Thrive When Others Want To See Them Fail
The more successful we become, the more haters we acquire.
Lance Reis | Unsplash Thanks in part to technology and mainstream ideals, as well as social media, women are expected to do it all: look amazing, have wonderfully obedient children, be a boss, run a successful business, and have an abundant social life.
While expecting all of this from us is unhealthy, in some ways these expectations have helped strong women thrive. Some of us have adapted by learning to use stress and daily pressure for motivation rather than letting them drag us down. This has helped make us even more productive.
Of course, this has also earned us haters, people who want us to stop succeeding in all the ways we do.
In order to survive the demands of career, family and dealing with all the haters, we need to learn how to not just survive but to thrive under all the pressure.
Here are 5 ways the strongest women thrive when others want to see them fail.
1. We play games.
I’m not talking about manipulation. We are masters of our universe, of utilizing every single second.
I never knew how much I could accomplish until I started wearing multiple hats as an educator and business owner. I realized I was making it too difficult for myself and ended up trying to make my work fun.
How much could I accomplish if I only had two minutes to finish reading? Or if I sat down and wrote one report? Sometimes, just getting started can be the hardest part.
Photo: Jacob Lund via Shutterstock
2. We know and respect our limits.
Some days will be more productive than others. It also depends on how one defines “productive.” This is important.
We do not need to compare ourselves more than we already do. What one person can accomplish in an hour may take another person a whole day — and that’s okay! Who, or what, are we trying to measure up to, anyway?
Do you ever wonder why there seems to be a plethora of superhero movies coming out lately in society? Hint: It’s not a phenomenon to be a superhero. It reflects our desire to work on being our best selves, to do better than we did the day before, and to show up for ourselves every day.
3. We take time off.
We know it’s OK to use a sick or vacation day! The meeting or presentation can wait. The show will go on without you — and you can’t be there to witness every moment of everyone else’s life.
As for work productivity, burning both ends of the lamp only hurts you. Not only are you not able to function productively when you are sleep-deprived, hungry, or ill, but you’re hurting your ability to do your best work and recover from being sick.
Listen to your body and your mind! It is counter-cultural to force ourselves to do nothing, but sometimes it is the best thing we could do for ourselves. We take rest days from the gym, and the mind is no different.
4. We readjust our expectations and goals.
When saddled with a never-ending to-do list, strong women stop and think: Are we being realistic about what we are trying to accomplish?
Setting goals is important, but setting realistic goals is crucial. You are much more apt to be productive if you are successful at the goals you set for yourself along the way (short term) than if you only try to make long-term goals.
You might give up if you aren’t willing to be that patient (most people aren’t). Daily goals can be more efficient than yearly goals because they are easier to measure and keep track of.
5. We let go of other people’s voices and find answers within.
How do you talk to yourself? What is the tone like of your inner self? Are you critical, or do you cut yourself some slack? Strong women know showing love and understanding is crucial to surviving and thriving. Letting go of others' expectations can help.
If we do not allow ourselves space to think for ourselves and only rely on the opinions of others, then we will not be able to create the space we need when life becomes hectic.
Ultimately, it is vital to realize life doesn't come at us in the same fashion we would always like it to. The pace of today’s world and current events seems to be moving faster than ever, but if we can celebrate our small successes and have fun along the way despite the pressures we face, then we will be all the more equipped to live life in a manner that agrees with us.
Maxine Langdon Starr, Ph.D., LMFT is a marriage and family therapist specializing in adolescents and young adults, partner/owner of Sunflower Therapies, professor of psychology at Brandman University, and motivational speaker on self-esteem.