5 New (& Not-So-New) Spiritual Tools The Most Resilient People Use To Get Over A Broken Heart
Go from heartbreak to spiritual resilience using ancient tools in a new way.
SHVETS production | Pexels Even when you know it is the right thing to do, breaking up a relationship is one of the most stressful things to go through. The shock can reverberate through your family and friends and impact more areas of your life than you may realize.
So, how do you refill your resilience pot when all you want to do is go full-out Bridget Jones and cry in your big girl pants? I suggest you look to the spiritual tools that have been helping people find peace for generations, and find new ways of using them to help you feel better.
5 new (and not-so-new) spiritual tools you can use to get over a breakup
1. Meditated mindfulness
A little mindfulness goes a long way. Hey, don't run off just yet. There are huge benefits to meditation, no matter which kind you choose, as evidenced by research in Behaviour Change Journal. First, it lowers your stress levels from as little time as 15 minutes a day.
That, in turn, reduces anxiety, enabling you to think more clearly and make decisions from a more balanced place, with a greater ability to remain calm when those around you are not. All of which help to maintain a good sleep pattern and promote a general feeling of health and well-being.
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2. Clear yourself and your living situation
To quote the wonderful RuPaul, "If you can't love yourself, how the hell you gonna love somebody else?" Seems simple enough, right?
Yet, taking care of yourself, even on the most basic of levels, when your heart is broken, and all you want to do is lay in a dark room and give up, can be trickier than you might think. And that's OK, however, at some point, you have to get up and start finding a new life.
When you look for a new life, follow the "Spiritual 101" guide and get your smudge on. Clear you, clear your space, and get clear on your new life. Smudging with sage is a popular healing practice for its physical, mental, and spiritual healing benefits, as explored by Amy Shawanda in research on the importance of smudging for Indigenous Peoples. You always start by smudging yourself so you are clear, grounded, and connected to the source, the creative energy that runs the universe.
Then, you can tackle your home. I'm all for letting emotions flow, but once you're done with them, they've gotta go! You will be amazed at how differently you and your space feel after a darn good smudging.
3. Reorder your space
Reorder your physical space, as well as your internal space. This is particularly important if one of you has moved out of the home you shared.
A study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology helps us understand how our brains are wired to look to the past to make sense of the now, and it will use environmental cues to trigger that response. So having a good de-clutter session and a room reinvention can all really help to lower the likelihood of being triggered into unwanted memories.
You don't need to be a Feng Shui expert to know It's time to move the laundry basket out of your love area and get your flow moving. Clearing the stagnate energy and blockages will enhance the flow through your space and can lead to a more harmonious and balanced home and life.
4. Envision a new life
It's time to wake up your senses and get into the feels. Attracting what you focus on doesn't require having a hard time, it's not interested in the blame game. Just like gravity, attracting what you focus on works regardless of what you may currently believe.
"Where your attention goes is where your energy flows," as Tony Robins has said many, many times. It's time to focus your new life into being, and it's great to have plans and goals to work towards and fun things to look forward to. What makes all of this materialize into being your "new life" so you can see, smell, taste, and touch it is how life will feel.
Ask any of the world's best manifesting geniuses, and they will all say the same thing. "Feel it like it has already happened. Over and over again."
So, rather than focusing on what is missing since your lover left, try focusing on how it feels now that your new, improved lover has arrived. Feel it so you can become it. This bit takes a commitment from you, and I want to remind you that you are totally worth the investment.
Mkosi Omkhulu via Shutterstock
5. Segment intention
This is something the wonderful Esther/Abraham Hicks teaches. Rather than leaving your day to chance, put a little forward-planning in place to ease your progress.
For instance, you know you have an important meeting in a couple of hours. Before you go into that segment of your day, just stop for a moment. Deepen your breathing and focus on how you wish the outcome to be so you can plan how you wish it to go.
Remember to bring in how that segment of your day feels. When I have a tricky phone call to make, this is my go-to. I will take the time before I make the call to focus on my intention for the outcome. This is also great for keeping you forward-focused so you don't get lost in the unhelpful stories of your past relationship.
LouLou Palmer is a professional and personal development coach with over 20 years of experience utilizing science-based therapies, Shamanic techniques and other modalities. Her work, profiled on BBC Woman's Hour, is based in the UK but available globally.