7 Small Signs Your Best Friend Is Incredibly Toxic
If these signs sound familiar, your friend may actually praying for your downfall.
AntonioGuillem | Getty Images She was your best friend forever, your reliable sidekick, your discerning sounding board, and your confidante during your times of intimate heartbreak and confusion.
And then, unexpectedly, she unfairly, irrationally flew off the handle at you. She slighted you for a man. She short-changed you to bolster her own agenda.
Her behavior was surprising and it wounded you greatly. She didn’t apologize. Instead, she acted as if nothing ever happened and your relationship was unaffected. You tried to tell her how she hurt you, but she made light of it or she guilefully shifted the blame onto you. Girl, it’s time to tell your self-absorbed BFF "bye-bye".
Here are 7 small signs your best friend is incredibly toxic:
1. They hog the conversation
Your conversations revolve around her. You feel like she never listens to you.
When you try to share your thoughts, your feelings, or your point of view, she shifts the conversation to her opinions, accomplishments, and concerns, shutting down a give-and-take conversation.
2. Everything is one-sided
You do all the calling, inviting, and driving. You acknowledge her birthday but she overlooks you. You seem to always pick up her tab. She’s the first girlfriend you call to go to an exclusive party or event.
You invite her everywhere but you discover that she excluded you from a get-together with mutual friends.
3. They lie
She exaggerates the truth to create false self-esteem. She manipulates circumstances to her advantage. She creates smoke screens to mask her hurtful behavior.
Oops! She forgot to tell you she had drinks with your new romantic interest.
4. They make demeaning comments
She pokes fun at you in front of friends. Her remarks sting — but you tell yourself you’re overacting. She acts like she only kidding when the truth is that her comments are verbal abuse disguised as jokes.
5. They use you
She’s your friend because you have access to people in high places, exclusive parties and events, and business connections. She invites you to her parties and events because her real BFF can’t go.
6. They blame
She doesn’t take responsibility for her outbursts, manipulation, or disrespect. When you confront her for her hurtful behavior, she tries to make you feel like the bad guy.
7. They're controlling
She needs to control every situation — where you go, what you talk about, and the friends you invite to join you. She wants you to take your car to a bar or party because she doesn’t want to drive drunk.
If you don’t agree, she will simply opt out.
Take note in your iPhone: Anyone who wounds your spirit and causes you to doubt your attractiveness, likeability, intelligence, and abilities is unworthy of your time, loyalty, and friendship.
Nancy Nichols is a best-selling self-help, dating, and relationship author, empowerment speaker, notorious blogger, and TV and radio talk show personality. She's a woman's advocate who uses her self-help books to impart self-esteem building, the power of positive thought, relationship understanding, and personal healing.