Psychology Says If You Can Master These 8 Skills, You'll Be Immune To Criticism
The only person who can make you impenetrable is you, but these skills can give you a boost.
Last week, I found a Dropbox folder filled with unpublished podcasts from years ago. I had abandoned them because someone had said my speaking style lacked energy. I chuckled because that comment probably spurred me into creating over 400 YouTube videos over the years to get better at speaking.
Too many of us are stalled by criticism, and we hold back at even the thought that someone may judge our work. Forget that — learn skills that will make you immune to criticism and don’t hide your creations just because you’re scared you might attract a frown from someone who you knew in high school.
If you can master these skills, you'll be immune to criticism:
1. Track your wins
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Keep a folder of impact stories. When someone tells you your work helped them, save the story. Data always beats doubt.
Focusing on what’s not going right can leave us deflated and defeated. It can also strip us of self-confidence, which can hold us back even more from accomplishing goals and dreams or reaching small or epic milestones.
2. Separate criticism from identity
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Your work isn’t you. So there’s no need to take it personally.
View your works as little tests. Sometimes people will love the work or the idea, and sometimes they won’t. Great. Keep experimenting. If you aren’t getting haters, you’re playing it too safe.
Not taking work personally is linked to a healthier work-life balance, improved stress management, and better interpersonal relationships in the workplace.
A 2020 study found that key strategies include understanding the source of your reaction, separating personal identity from work performance, practicing self-awareness, setting boundaries, and developing cognitive reappraisal techniques to interpret situations more objectively.
When receiving feedback or criticism, try to separate the feedback from personal attacks and focus on the specific aspects of your work that need improvement.
3. Consistently produce
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I'm a writer. I create so much that no single piece carries much weight. I publish every day. Some posts do well; others hit the pavement. Both outcomes feel lighter when you’re already working on what’s next.
Consistently producing builds confidence in one's abilities. It allows one to view criticism with a more detached perspective, understand that not everyone will always appreciate one's creations, and value constructive feedback that can help one improve.
4. Refuse to be a a victim
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Sometimes, the best course of action is to decide to be a warrior and leave the carcass of your weaker self behind.
Mental strength is not significantly affected by negative feedback or criticism, allowing you to process it without damaging your self-esteem or deterring you from pursuing your goals. It means being able to bounce back from criticism and maintain a positive self-image.
5. Use criticism as market research
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When someone says, “This isn’t for me,” they’re telling you more about your ideal market. When done constructively and with the right approach, using criticism as market research can be valuable.
It allows companies to access deeper consumer insights, particularly regarding pain points and areas for improvement, by actively soliciting negative feedback, which people might not readily share otherwise.
However, a 2022 American Psychological Association study found that it's crucial to frame the feedback collection process in a way that encourages honesty while mitigating consumers' defensiveness.
6. Build your inner circle
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Surround yourself with people who understand your vision. As Austin Kleon says, “Draw a circle around the people who get it, and work for them.” Building an inner circle primarily emphasizes the importance of quality over quantity in relationships.
An early 2009 study highlighted the need for deep, trusting connections with a select group of people who provide strong social support, validation, and positive influence. These connections can significantly impact mental well-being and overall life satisfaction.
7. Focus on service
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My best work comes when I’m focused on speaking with sincerity because I genuinely want to help rather than trying to win approval.
Communicate openly and honestly, expressing your genuine thoughts and feelings without deception or manipulation. It emphasizes being truthful, authentic, and transparent in your communication.
8. Use criticism as an opportunity to become stronger
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Every unintended outcome is an opportunity to do the opposite of sulking. Take a breath, find the lesson, and say, ‘Thanks for your perspective,’ and move on.
Criticism and the sting from receiving it never fully vanishes. We’re human beings. But there are ways to reduce its impact drastically, so you gain a massive advantage over most. Get creating.
Alex Mathers is a writer and coach who helps you build a money-making personal brand with your knowledge and skills while staying mentally resilient. He's the author of the Mastery Den newsletter, which helps people triple their productivity.