Single Woman Shares The Most Frustrating Thing Her ‘Taken Friends’ Do
Your value as a person should never stem from your relationship status.
Jacob Lund Despite positive discourse and empowering stories about singlehood, it can still be a touchy topic, especially with the resurgence of so many traditionalist values, patriarchal standards, and impossibly high expectations for women in relationships.
Everyone has their own struggles — whether you’re in a committed relationship or not — but the envy of singlehood has completely transformed in a way that’s become “demeaning” for many single people today. Meg Smart on TikTok explained, “I’m not interested in dating at the moment ... but what’s so frustrating is that everyone wants to move my life along faster than I do.”
Not only are single people feeling the pressure to share their intimate dating lives and experiences with their friends in committed relationships as entertainment, but they’re also feeling a harmful sense of jealousy over the freedom, happiness, and empowerment afforded by their relationship status.
Smart shared the most frustrating thing her ‘taken friends’ do: ‘Stop assuming that everything in my life has to do with a man.’
When it comes to being the single girl in her group of friends, Smart feels a little lonely — and a lot exploited. “It’s horrible that I feel like I can’t talk to anyone or mention a man’s name in a conversation without them assuming that we’re talking, dating, or that I like them,” she tearfully shared.
“You can see it on their face … you can hear it in their voice. I’m not your entertainment.”
Commenters empathized with Smart’s experience, admitting they have family members and friends who make their dating lives “the most important part” of any conversation — prioritizing their search for a partner over their own personal lives or well-being.
Of course, she’s not the only person who feels like this as a woman in her late 20s; her video has only started the conversation.
Fellow single girl on TikTok, Shanvan, continued the conversation in a stitched video of Smart's monologue. “The main thing I want to highlight … is that we are not your entertainment,” she lamented.
Not only do Shanvan's ‘taken friends’ push her to pursue men when they’re in public, but they inherently assume she’s always ‘chasing a man.’
Feeling seen by Smart's post, Shanvan continued, “They ask me if I’ve been on any dates lately; if I have any horror stories. ‘Can I swipe through your Hinge?’... and call me overdramatic; call me sensitive, whatever. But I’m not your court jester. I’m not here to provide you cuffed-up people with entertainment.”
Her hot take on the overarching issue: jealousy and envy. Shanvan suggested that her friends’ relationships aren’t providing healthy, quality alone time or fulfillment in the same way her singlehood is.
Even for women who are engaged in “the chase” or are actively looking for a partner, it should never be the “most interesting” thing about them.
Photo: PR Image Factory / Canva Pro
It’s not just the act of asking these questions or demanding a blow-by-blow of life as a single person that’s bothersome. It’s the intention that some friends set behind it. Relationship status becomes the focal point of every conversation and interaction.
Not only does the discourse feel superficial, but these single women argue that it's ‘demeaning.’
It’s become an unspoken rule that singlehood is not a choice and that people are desperate, lonely, or sad when they’re single instead of empowered and joyful. Since singlehood is considered societally inferior to committed relationships, this unspoken rule slowly integrates itself into your relationships with others — whether it be parents, friends, or people in your community.
So, instead of starting a conversation with your friend by asking about their dating life, ask them something about themselves. Cultivate a space where they can be empowered in their identity, growth, and happiness rather than their dating life. They’ll let you know when they’re ready to talk about their relationship status.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a News & Entertainment Writer at YourTango who focuses on health & wellness, social policy, and human interest stories.