The Simple Question To Ask Yourself To Stop Obsessing Over Him
The only person you should be obsessing over is you.
GaudiLab | Canva Women frequently struggle with feeling "obsessed" over a man. That man was either a husband, a boyfriend, or a love interest. You might want to date them, think you love them, or just find yourself focusing on them all the time. You may also be experiencing "hyper fixation" on a man in your life to the point where you feel like you're obsessing over him and wish you knew how to stop thinking about that someone.
Oh my gosh, do I ever know what it feels like to be obsessed with a man. Furthermore, I know what it feels like to beat yourself up for wasting time obsessing about that man! It doesn't matter who you're obsessed with. It just feels so bad to be stuck in that obsession that you feel totally out of control with it, right? That's how I've felt before, too.
The simple question to ask yourself to stop obsessing over him
So, if you need help to get out of the obsession and let go of the fixation, there's a simple and powerful question to ask yourself. When you ask yourself this question you will immediately get back into your power and step out of the obsession. When you're obsessed about a man ask yourself, "What is the one thing in my life that I don't want to look at right now?" and wait for the answer.
This sounds simple, I know, but here's the thing: When you're obsessed about that man, the obsession is just a distraction. It's a way for you to avoid looking at what's not working in your life. The obsession gives you a way to avoid looking at the painful parts of your life that you don't want to look at.
However, when you turn your attention back to you you'll not only get your power back, but you'll also feel so much better! I did this myself when I was caught up and stuck in an ongoing obsession with a man I was dating on and off. When I asked myself, "What is it that I don't want to see about me right now?" the answer I got was about the topic of my basement. Yes! My basement was a big frustration for me, and I didn't want to look at it because it felt overwhelming to clean up. But when I looked at it, suddenly the obsession with that man was gone and I felt relief. I was back in my power and able to move forward.
What is it that you don't want to look at in your life that the obsession with that man allows you to avoid?
Are you out of control with your emotions, unhappy with something in your life, or just feel unsatisfied, but don't know how to heal that struggle for good? Are you unhappy with your work because you lack the self-esteem and self-confidence to do what you've always wanted to do? Or maybe you just feel stuck overall? A lack of self-confidence can ruin your life. A 2019 study showed students with low self-esteem had a lower quality of life compared to their happier classmates.
If you're willing to ask yourself the question I've offered you today, then you will not only get out of the obsession with that man, but also you'll feel better immediately. Keep in mind that if you have to put so much controlling effort into a relationship this is a sign it's not the relationship for you.
A healthy, fun relationship feels good and flows easily.
It's the same easy feeling you have with your body and mind once you've healed the inner root that drives your unhealthy emotional behaviors today. There's no reason to obsess or overwork a relationship when it's healthy but to attract your ideal man for that type of relationship, you first must be your Ideal you, in mind, body, and spirit.
Pexels / Leah Newhouse
That's something else to look at too, because if you're not your Ideal you today if you're not thrilled with your body and your life, then it will be much easier to get into an obsession with others. After all, you don't know how to be in your power with yourself.
Remember: Once you get in alignment with yourself in body, mind, and spirit, then nothing can stop you.
Your ideal relationship (without the obsession of course!) from coming into your life! The best thing you can do for yourself is to get in alignment with your inner self, which will make it easy for you to attract your ideal man while living in your ideal body. Exciting!
JoLynn Braley is the founder of The Inner Self Diet, author, mentor, speaker, weight loss mindset expert, and podcast producer.