9 Subtle Signs People Think You're Hot (Without Them Having To Say A Word)
Being "hot" isn't just about physical attractiveness.
Allef Vinicius / Unsplash We usually look for insufficient markers to rate our level of attractiveness.
And, let’s face it: as studies have also confirmed, most people go to the gym because they want to look more attractive. But what use is getting physically fit if you don’t understand the key things that make you truly hot? Looks can only go so far, so outside of physical attraction, you might have the character that wins hearts.
According to psychologists and experts, there are certain traits that truly tell your level of attractiveness. Brace yourself, because after knowing these signs, you’ll realize that you might be way hotter than you give yourself credit for.
Here are 9 signs you're hot — and people think you're incredibly attractive
1. People breach your intimate zone
According to Vanessa Van Edwards, the head researcher at The Science of People, a human behavior research lab, people who find us attractive are likely to breach our intimacy zone when they talk to us.
What’s the intimate zone? It's when people are within 8 inches of you. As she explained, if you notice that someone likes to stay less than 8 inches from you when they interact with you, there’s a high chance they are attracted to you.
Photo: Polina Tankilevitch / Pexels
Think about it. Whenever you’re interacting with someone you don’t like, you want to stay as far away from them as possible. In fact, if you had the means, you’d rather not interact with them at all. Their energy alone makes you uncomfortable and you feel the urge to distance yourself.
The opposite happens when you’re interacting with people you find attractive. Because you like the way they talk, the smell of their perfume, or their character, for example, you want to get close to them because their energy is appealing to you.
2. People are happy around you
In Robert Greene's book "The Art of Seduction," he wrote, “Desire is both imitative and competitive.” Meaning that we like what others like, and we are usually motivated to take from others what they find precious.
This is partly why a man suddenly becomes more attractive to women when he frequently has beautiful ladies around him. And this is also one of the reasons people find you more attractive when others are always happy around you.
Take comedians, for instance. It’s really difficult to not like them. Why? Well, they give joy to people. And when we see those who can make us laugh in a world where suffering is more evident than anything, we wish we could just have them for ourselves. No wonder people are willing to pay almost anything to watch comedians perform.
So, if you have a personality that makes people happy around you, there’s a high chance you're a hot girl, and there are a lot of people who wish they could be around you more often.
3. People find opportunities to bond with you through touch
How you answer this question might say a lot about your personality: At what point do you usually feel comfortable touching or letting a romantic partner touch you? Is it after the first, second, or third date? Or is it after a month?
Of course, the answer to this question will vary for everyone. But one thing is sure: You’ll only feel comfortable with physical contact when you start feeling a bond with someone.
When people find you attractive, they’ll most likely want to touch you often. It is our way of bonding. It’s a reflex. We don’t even have to think about it.
As research has found, we know that we feel good when we touch someone we find desirable. And this is because touching someone you like causes your brain to release oxytocin, a hormone released by the pituitary gland, into our bloodstream. And oxytocin makes us feel good.
This relates to the intimate zone breach. When someone likes to come close to you a lot, they’ll probably soon start going for physical contact. So if you find that people want to be in your intimate zone, it's a good way to tell if you're hot.
4. People get lost in your eyes
Mutual eye contact could mean either respect or admiration. And if you pay close attention, you can tell which one it is based on how different people look at you. Think about it. There’s a reason why we like to lock eyes on those we love.
First of all, we just tend to look at things we like. This is why one of the best signs you're a hot girl and that someone finds you attractive is that you frequently catch their gaze from across a room full of people.
Secondly, when we find someone attractive, our brains release oxytocin when we lock eyes on them. This is what makes our heart beat faster and our pupils dilate uncontrollably.
Studies have shown that there are a lot of messages we pass when we make eye contact with each other. As the saying goes, the eyes are the windows to the soul. This is perhaps why people who have something to hide can’t make eye contact properly.
5. People say you have a 'good vibe'
The kind of energy you give off is one of the most important determinants of your level of attractiveness.
Even if you’re not physically attractive by conventional standards, but you appear enthusiastic about life, people will see your level of self-acceptance as an indication that you’re proud of who you are. Your positive energy is what they’ll see, not your looks.
As Vanessa Van Edwards explained, people look at your level of energy to decide how interesting you are. Attractive people are engaging. They make you feel heard when you’re in a conversation with them. They’ll pay attention to you, and their level of enthusiasm will rub off on you.
6. You're genuinely interested in other people
As Greene elaborated on in his book "The Laws of Human Nature," one of the biggest hindrances we have in relating well with people is our tendency to quickly turn inward. We think of the things we can do to impress. Some guys will go as far as memorizing pick-up lines to get a girl to like them.
But all these ways of handling social interactions have one flaw: It puts the focus on you.
The hottest, most attractive people go in the opposite direction. In the words of Greene, they see others as “an undiscovered country” that they will carefully explore. And this act of putting the spotlight on others works like magic.
Why? Everyone wants to talk about themselves. But only a few want to listen. Hence, if you’re among the few that have enough self-control to go outward and let others shine, you’re one of a kind. People will inevitably be drawn to you, and serves as one of the signs you're hot.
7. You live a truly authentic life
There's nothing that makes a person more attractive than staying true to who they are. Attractive people don't necessarily possess physical beauty or turn heads when they walk into a room, but they are still incredibly magnetic.
When people find you attractive, it's because you're living your life without conforming to the pressures of society. Instead, you carry yourself with integrity and pursue your dreams, and you don't pay attention to what others think.
One of the biggest signs you're attractive to others is being genuine; in fact, studies have found that this trait is associated with positive relationship outcomes. And that's good news for your love life! Because, at the end of the day, people don't want to be around fakeness.
Photo: Juan Vargas / Pexels
8. People change around you
Though body language is nonverbal, it speaks volumes. Aside from breaching your intimate zone, making eye contact, and wanting to bond through touch, people tend to become very aware of how their body looks when you're around.
Whether it's smiling at you, raising their eyebrows, adjusting their appearance, or parting their lips, all indicate that they want to connect with you on a deeper level. They may not even realize that they are changing themselves because it's so subconscious.
If there's just one way to tell that you're hot, consider that you have a compelling presence that captivates everyone around you.
9. People are turned on by your confidence
Confidence is incredibly attractive because it shows people that you're trustworthy.
For example, men don't want to be around a conventionally attractive woman if she presents herself as shy, quiet and insecure. While people stare at her physical beauty, it's also clear that she lacks self-esteem.
But when you're hot, your confidence radiates. And it's evident to anyone who has been around you, whether it's long-term or for a short period of time.
You show people that you're assured in your abilities and worth. You possess a deep sense of self-awareness, which makes you magnetic to others and draws them towards you.
Best of all, you inspire others to embrace their strengths, which, in turn, makes you even more alluring.
Destiny Femi is a dating coach, as well as the founder of Growth Lodge, a self-help and relationship website, where he's an editor and writer.