11 Signs You’re Overworked & Underappreciated In Every Aspect Of Your Life
Take note of the things (and maybe, people) who feel taxing, rather than productive.
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A | Shutterstock.com Not many of us genuinely feel like we’re 100% present in our daily lives as we manage the chaos of work, strive to maintain healthy relationships, and actively prioritize alone time. While many of us believe are committed to that kind of lifestyle, the feasibility of actually flexing so many intentional muscles often feels less and less realistic as we take on more stress and receive less gratitude.
While you might not be actively aware or conscious of the signs it's happening, when you are overworked and underappreciated in every aspect of your life, your self-esteem suffers and it becomes much more difficult to effectively care for yourself and nurture your relationships. By acknowledging these pressure and pain points in your life, you not only make space for more productive boundaries, but a new mindset that’s both reassuring and supportive.
Here are 11 signs you’re overworked and underappreciated in every aspect of your life
1. You feel angry and frustrated about the little things
Ground Picture | Shutterstock.com
According to the American Osteopathic Association, irritability is one of the most common signs you’re overworked and underappreciated in every aspect of your life — fending off burnout from work or general emotional distress in your relationships. When we don’t feel valued, in a constant pursuit of attention and validation from others, we’re more likely to take on a negative attitude and mindset that sparks this irritability.
Everything everyone says is annoying. The basic tasks we do without thought everyday suddenly become grievances. Even the hobbies, conversations, and passions that typically bring us joy feel dull. By recognizing where this irritability stems from, whether it be a toxic relationship or an overextension at work, you can take actionable steps towards better boundaries and intentional quality time with yourself.
2. You’re struggling to sleep
Lightfield Studios | Shutterstock.com
Of course, working long hours or feeling drawn towards work as an escapist route from our personal struggles can take away time we’re meant to spend sleeping — between 8 and 10 hours for the average adult — but there’s more nuance to the connection between our emotional state and sleep patterns.
A study from the journal Sleep Medicine found that the cognitive and emotional impairment sparked by burnout, both in professional spaces and in our personal lives and relationships, are two of the biggest predictors for our duration and quality of sleep. When we’re stressed, feeling overworked, or underappreciated, no matter how or where it’s happening, you’re less likely to get the sleep you need to effectively function physically and emotionally in your daily life.
3. It feels like you’re constantly sick
New Africa | Shutterstock.com
Being overworked with long hours and insurmountable workloads can be physically exhausting, taking a toll on your immune system and general health in profound ways. And there’s a link between the emotional turmoil we face and our body’s general wellbeing, as well. According to the Cleveland Clinic, our bodies tend to react negatively to long-term stress and emotional distress in a variety of ways, sparking gastrointestinal, cardiovascular, and immune system problems.
If you’re feeling “off” or can’t get rid of a nagging cold, it might be worth considering your mental and emotional health, not just fending off symptoms with reactionary medicine and annoyance.
4. You’re yearning for gratitude
Amnaj Khetsamtip | Shutterstock.com
Even after making coffee for your partner or finishing a project at work, there’s no denying the nagging, empty, and uncomfortable feeling of resentment bubbling up in your life. You’re driven toward small acts of kindness, but disappointed every time when they’re not reciprocated or met with gratitude and kindness.
Of course, making a routine of doing small acts of kindness is beneficial in its own ways, as a Harvard Health analysis suggests, but those positive feelings can be quickly overshadowed when we don’t feel appreciated. Don’t be hard on yourself. Simply pinpoint these moments of discomfort and figure out how to open conversations with your partners, peers, or family about feeling unheard.
5. You dread going to work or coming home
Dean Drobot | Shutterstock.com
Experts from the Mayo Clinic suggest workers who are burdened with the symptoms of burnout often dread going to work everyday, overcome with an inescapable feeling of anxiety and chronic stress when they think about work — which, let’s face it, is almost all of the time. There’s a million reasons why you might feel this way, from stagnancy in your career to limited growth opportunities to feeling unheard and underappreciated by your boss.
On the other side of the same coin, some people use work as an escape route, as they are constantly worried or anxious about returning home to a chaotic atmosphere or toxic relationship. They dive head first into their projects, working long hours and taking on more responsibilities, leading them inevitably to burnout in the same ways.
Anxiety can feel all-encompassing, from our emotional experience to our physical one. Find productive ways to calm your anxiety — whether it’s mindfulness, exercise, or even a few moments to yourself — so you can pinpoint what’s stressing you out and craft basic boundaries to protect yourself.
6. You’re speaking negatively to yourself
Kateryna Onyshchuk | Shutterstock.com
Even the most confident and self-assured people fall into ruts where they can’t help but be overly critical towards themselves. While it might feel impossible in the moment to acknowledge and work out of, figuring out what’s causing your negative mindset can be profoundly impactful.
The people we surround ourselves with — from co-workers to bosses and partners — shape our reality. When we’re feeling unheard, overworked, or underappreciated in our daily interactions, it can shape our mindset in negative ways, urging us to echo and digest the uncomfortable feelings and criticisms of our peers onto ourselves.
Even if you can’t fully transform your negativity into positivity, consider opting for neutrality instead, as Elizabeth Scott, PhD. suggests. Catch your inner critic in its tracks and retrain your brain towards more productive language. For example, “I can’t” becomes, “This is challenging,” and “I hate” becomes, “I don’t prefer.”
7. You're procrastinating more often
Roman Samborskyi | Shutterstock.com
In addition to trouble concentrating and completing tasks, people experiencing burnout often adopt a tendency to procrastinate, even if they’ve been labeled a “high-achiever” or successful time manager their entire lives. Often happening on autopilot, Dr. Rangan Chattergee explains, procrastination manifests as a escapist route towards dopamine or rest — something people experiencing burnout have struggled to prioritize for themselves.
By not making space for the things we enjoy or the rest our bodies and minds need, our brains inevitably force us to prioritize a break with procrastination. By recognizing what your brain escapes to during these moments of forced restfulness, like a vision of your evening routine or a chat with your significant other, you can narrow down what it is that you need.
8. You’re not making plans or leaving the house
Fizkes | Shutterstock.com
Even the most sociable people fall victim to isolating habits and other symptoms of loneliness when they feel burnt out or underappreciated in their lives. Their negative self-talk persuades them to cancel plans and their endless stream of escapist work projects stresses them out too much to leave the house. It’s an experience everyone has unfortunately lived through, whether they were consciously aware of it or not.
Author and life coach Dr. Whitney Gordon-Mead argues that this kind of isolation, sparked by stress, anxiety, and overwhelm, tends to feed into a larger cycle of discomfort that only exacerbates these negative emotions and experiences. The more we isolate ourselves, the less we connect with others, and the more time we have for overthinking and doomscrolling — two experiences nobody needs every day.
9. You’re not motivated to set new goals
Prostock-studio | Shutterstock.com
Struggling to envision the future is often a defense mechanism to deal unresolved trauma in people struggling emotionally. Sparked by distrust of and disappointment in the people around you, a lack of motivation is one of the signs you’re overworked and underappreciated in every aspect of your life could be this inability to set new goals and envision your future life.
By committing to small habits like journaling or speaking with a trusted loved one, you can open up about your struggles and get to the bottom of what could be pessimism or deeper emotional turmoil.
10. You feel a misguided need for control
Ekateryna Zubal | Shutterstock.com
Especially in an intimate or platonic relationship where your needs are consistently unmet and your emotions are invalidated, it’s common to experience a misguided need for more control. The anxiety and chronic stress associated with toxic relationships can be taxing, to the point where we feel we need to take control in unhealthy and unproductive ways.
It could be caused by something as simple as your partner making plans without you or never sparking a vulnerable conversation. You want to control the narrative of your relationship in ways you believe will make you feel heard and appreciated.
11. You never feel good enough
SB Arts Media | Shutterstock.com
Our support systems and close relationships are meant to uplift us, providing a supplemental sense of affection, value, and appreciation to our lives. When those relationships start to spark anxiety, disconnect, and resentment, they can take a negative toll on our self-image and emotional well-being.
Doing things like taking a break, re-evaluating the health of your relationships, and practicing self-care can help disrupt these negative thoughts, supporting your need to set clear boundaries and advocate for yourself in every aspect of your life.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.