10 Signs You Were Forced To Grow Up Too Fast As A Kid & It's Affecting You Now
You may have been told you were 'very mature for your age'.
Jose Calsina | Shutterstock Growing up, you may have been told that you were "so mature for your age." On the surface, it might not seem like such a bad thing. But the unfortunate truth is that being mature for your age is a sign that you were forced to grow up way too fast.
This could have damaging effects on a child, especially as they grow into an adult. And if you relate to the following signs, you may still be suffering from growing up too quickly.
Here are 10 signs you were forced to grow up too fast as a kid — and it's affecting you now
1. You're always responsible
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When we think about it, being a responsible person isn't a bad thing. But if you were the one responsible for everything as a child, you grew up too fast. Because feeling hyper-responsible has its downsides.
Research has found that guilt-proneness (also known as hyper-responsibility syndrome) can easily turn into anxiety and OCD if not managed properly. If you feel overly responsible, even for things you cannot control, it's clear that having to mature too fast is affecting you to this day.
2. You have an old soul
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Old souls have enhanced levels of maturity. However, there's a difference between having an old soul and simply liking old-school things. The distinguishing factor is the wisdom and maturity that comes along with it.
If you find yourself being mature way beyond your years, to the point other people comment on it, this could be a sign that you grew up way too fast. Most children who grow up quickly were parentified children, which means they were forced to meet the emotional or physical demands of their adult parents. For instance, maybe you needed to take care of your siblings or maybe you were forced to play mediator in your family.
Regardless, the consequences of a parentified child are severe. According to research, parentified children form insecure attachments that carry on into adulthood, affecting their future relationships.
3. You're incredibly anxious
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Growing up fast can lead to the development of anxiety. If you have anxiety or anxious tendencies, your childhood was likely you being responsible for almost everything. You had to be the caregiver and the emotional therapist, all from a young age.
Because of this, you might feel a deep pressure to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, leading to uncontrollable anxiety. And having constant anxiety is a terrible thing. As the World Health Organization says, anxiety can make us susceptible to depression, substance abuse, dangerous thoughts, and risky behavior.
4. You're emotionally drained
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Finding yourself constantly drained emotionally is a huge sign you grew up too fast. Likely, you still have the weight of the world on your shoulders, and people still depend on you to be their therapist or to support their emotional needs because of your maturity.
However, this can lead to burnout, causing you to crash into ruin over time. This is why you must set firm boundaries with yourself and others, letting them know that you're not in the right mindset to hear about their problems. Reinforce the idea that you do love them and that you'll be more than willing to hear them out, but only when you're able to collect yourself first.
5. You're hyper-independent
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There's nothing wrong with being independent. As a matter of fact, being independent is a must if you want to grow and develop as a person. However, being hyper-independent is a different story.
Newport Institute says, "Hyper-independence is not a mental health condition, but it is a stress response triggered most often by childhood trauma." And growing up too fast almost always stems from some form of childhood trauma or neglect. You may have been given all the responsibility without so much as an ounce of help or care in the world.
Now, as an adult, you probably still struggle with depending on others. When other people offer to help, you might brush them off, stating, “I got it," even when you don't. But it's why you should slowly allow yourself to lean on others.
If someone can help you, allow them to do so, even if it's only in small ways like washing the dishes or putting away the clothes. Remember, small actions make a difference.
6. You have trust issues
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Having trust issues puts a damper on your current relationship, and prevents you from forming new relationships altogether. But it's not your fault. Most trust issues stem from childhood trauma or past relationships.
Even though we can't change our past, it's important to get the necessary help to change our present. Studies have shown that there are negative consequences to a lack of trust, including “lying, low relationship quality perception, and attachment anxiety, negatively impacting relationships."
7. You have poor boundaries
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Growing up fast and having to take care of others means you don't have the time or patience to create healthy boundaries. When you have other people depending on you, emotionally or financially, boundaries fall to the wayside.
But having poor boundaries can lead to disaster if you're not careful. For instance, one study found that a lack of boundaries at work can lead to unhealthy habits such as eating out more.
So, even if it's hard, take time to figure out what you're most in need of. Maybe you need more time to yourself or time to focus on your health. Then, figure out ways to communicate those boundaries to others.
Clinical psychologist Rubin Khoddam suggests a five-step method: identifying your limits, clearly communicating your boundaries, practicing what you want to say, avoiding apologizing or over-explaining, and being consistent with your boundaries.
8. You have great resilience and strength
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The most mentally strong people are the ones who have gone through the most. And growing up too quickly means facing challenges you should have never had to worry about.
But there's a bright side to this. Quickly maturing likely made you tough as nails when it comes to handling any problems thrown your way. Because of it, you know how to hold your own and feel competent in your ability to do so.
And that's not all. This resilience and strength lasts even in adulthood, making you fairly unstoppable when you put your mind to anything.
9. You're a perfectionist
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Because everyone depended on you growing up, you may have become a perfectionist in adulthood. You were never allowed to make mistakes and, as such, found yourself attempting to mature quickly just to avoid messing up in the eyes of your parents.
However, being a perfectionist hurts more than it helps. According to research, maladaptive perfectionism can lead to interpersonal problems and distress. Over time, this can impact you as an adult, causing you to engage in dangerous behaviors that are harmful to both you and the people around you.
10. You frequently neglect yourself
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Not putting self-care first is not only harmful, but shows what your childhood likely looked like. Many people who grew up too quickly did so because they had to take care of others (or themselves). Because of this, you were never properly taught how to care for yourself and, more often than not, you now find yourself emotionally drained or mentally unwell.
Studies have shown that proper self-care is a great preventative measure for burnout, while other studies show that a lack of balance can lead to unhealthy habits. It showcases the importance of putting physical and mental well-being above all else.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.