11 Signs A Woman Is Emotionally Drained But Keeps Pushing Through
Women are expected to have it all together, but it all leads to major emotional exhaustion.
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A | Shutterstock We all go through times when we feel burned out and exhausted. It's just part of life. Sometimes we feel like we've lost our spark and need some help finding it again. While this can happen to anyone, it's especially troublesome for women, who are expected to handle everything at work and at home with perfect ease.
A collaborative survey from Berlin Cameron, Eve Rodsky's "Fair Play," and Kantar, 68% of women in the U.S. felt burned out in the last week. On the other hand, only 50% of American men felt the same way. This 18% difference is telling, and is evidence of the signs a woman is emotionally drained but keeps pushing through. Women are struggling, but how do you know what to look for to know if this is the case?
Here are 11 signs a woman is emotionally drained but keeps pushing through
1. She just doesn't care anymore
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If she just doesn't care about things like she used to, it's one of the sure signs a woman is emotionally drained but keeps pushing through. Not caring means she feels like giving up, but she still hasn't. Whether it's part of her professional or personal life, she has let go of the expectations she set for herself and the ambition she has and is simply coasting.
While it may seem like it's not a huge deal, psychology educator Kendra Cherry pointed out that not caring can actually be a sign of something more serious. It could mean you are experiencing apathy, which means you feel indifferent, or that you are experiencing anhedonia, which means you can't feel pleasure. Both are signs of mental health conditions like depression.
Some may feel perfectly happy, or at least okay, to continue pushing through while feeling like they don't care. However, this can be an indicator of a more worrisome condition that needs to be addressed with medical attention.
2. She's always looking for distractions
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If a woman is always trying to be distracted from whatever her current reality is, it's a good sign that she's feeling emotionally drained. The human brain certainly allows for distraction pretty easily, and getting distracted is less challenging for some than it is for others. But if a woman is starting to seek distractions from everyday tasks she would normally complete without problems, it's not a good sign.
Mental health writers Adrienne Santos-Longhurst and Crystal Raypole explained that "mental exhaustion can happen when your brain receives too much stimulation or has to maintain an intense level of activity without rest." If you have too much to focus on at the moment, then distraction would certainly be tempting.
Everyone gets distracted from time to time, or wants to be distracted by something more interesting than whatever is necessary at that point in time. But actively seeking out these distractions repeatedly is a sign that a woman is really struggling. She can't deal with what's necessary, so she looks for alternative options for her attention.
3. She enjoys sleeping a bit too much
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If a woman goes from being relatively active to wanting to sleep all the time, there's a problem. Most people would admit to enjoying their rest, but checking out so much that sleep becomes your favorite activity isn't normal at all. It's easy to assume that this is happening because of a lack of sleep, but it can really be a sign of burnout.
Sleep psychologist and wellness advocate Deidre Conry, PhD explained that feeling like you could fall asleep instantly is a sign that you're not getting enough sleep or have a sleep disorder. On the other hand, if you're dealing with mental illness, nutritional problems, taking certain medications or pushing too hard or not hard enough with physical activity, you're likely dealing with the exhaustion that comes from burnout.
Sleep is also a distraction in its own way. Unless you dream about your problems when you're asleep, you don't have to think about them. In that sense, it's definitely one of the signs a woman is emotionally drained but keeps pushing through, just wanting to escape the present moment and its worries.
4. She isn't as accurate as usual
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No one is perfect, and making mistakes is simply part of being human. However, if a woman is emotionally drained, she'll likely make even more mistakes than the average person. As part of not caring anymore, she won't be careful. This will lead to a lack of accuracy.
As mental health journalist Keri Wiginton put it, "It's impossible for your work to be perfect all the time. But mental fatigue lessens your ability to catch and fix your mistakes quickly or at all. That can cause serious problems in certain jobs, such as ones where you use machines, drive a vehicle or fly a plane."
If someone is dealing with true mental and emotional exhaustion, they're naturally going to be less accurate and more prone to mistakes. They don't really have the mental capacity to be overly careful anymore. Unfortunately, this can lead to a vicious cycle, as they blame themselves for not doing a good enough job and then spiral further.
5. She's become resentful
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Another sure sign that a woman is emotionally drained is that she has become increasingly resentful towards those around her. Even the ones she loves the most aren't immune to her apathetic and disgruntled attitude. She has become so unhappy with life that it's spreading to those around her like a contagion.
According to the Cleveland Clinic, "Resentment can be described as a complex, multilayered emotional reaction to being mistreated or wronged by another person, situation or series of circumstances." It is closely related to irritability, which Jolene Hanson, LICSW listed as a symptom of emotional exhaustion.
Chances are, a woman is not really angry at those who are on the receiving end of her resentment. Rather, she's angry at life in general and how she feels about it. This can be tricky as it means feelings are bound to get hurt, and people whose support she needs may push her farther away.
6. She's experiencing physical pain
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When you hear about something like feeling emotionally drained or exhausted, you would hope that it would be limited to just that: emotions. Unfortunately, our emotional and physical health are closely linked and one can impact and change the other. So, if you're in emotional distress, you're bound to feel it physically as well.
Hanson said that some of the physical symptoms of emotional exhaustion can include headaches, stomachaches, nausea and muscle aches. One's body undergoing this kind of tension can lead to longer-term problems like chronic stress and burnout, according to research analyst Jacquelyn Cafasso. That's why it's important to take care of it as soon as possible.
In some cases, being emotionally drained actually requires medical care. It's easy to put that care off because you think you're "just tired" or "just upset." But it runs so much deeper. When it starts to affect you physically, it can be especially dangerous, so it's best to consult with a professional.
7. She's no longer interested in her relationship
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If a woman is no longer interested in her romantic relationship, she's probably emotionally drained. What makes that even worse is that anyone in a relationship can actually feel drained because of the relationship. Relationships themselves can be causes for burnout.
"Relationship burnout can occur when relationship stress becomes chronic, resulting in exhaustion, similar to other forms of burnout," licensed clinical social worker Michelle Risser said. "While burnout is often associated with work, it can also infiltrate relationships."
While relationship burnout is real, it's also possible that a woman might feel disinterest in romantic relationships because of being emotionally drained in other areas of her life, or just in general. Because of this, relationship apathy can be difficult to pin down since there are multiple factors that can contribute to it.
8. She's formed unhealthy habits
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When you're trying to cope with being emotionally drained, pushing through despite all of the pain and discomfort you're feeling, it's tempting to try to use different methods to numb the pain. Someone could choose to turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms like drinking or smoking.
Cafasso urged people to not do this, saying, "Alcohol may temporarily boost your mood, but the feeling will quickly wear off, leaving you more anxious and depressed than before." Other forms of substance abuse are also not the answer.
If she's using substances or doing similar things more often than she normally does, it's one of the glaring signs a woman is emotionally drained but keeps pushing through. She probably thinks that doing these things will help her push through and make life easier. Unfortunately, they only make it harder in the end.
9. She no longer expresses herself in her work
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Work is not the most fun thing in the world. Even for people who love their jobs, there are still low days that feel awful. But the people who do value their job are typically able to bring at least a little bit of self-expression to the role. They make it uniquely their own amidst the monotony of a nine-to-five.
But if a woman is emotionally drained, that's no longer a priority for her anymore. Instead, she's simply focused on getting through each day, which is hard enough without adding an extra burst of creativity. Instead, her creative juices feel absolutely zapped out and she has nothing left to give.
Counselor and psychotherapist Jayne Leonard specifically listed "working long hours" as something that can cause emotional exhaustion. A woman who's already giving her all to work doesn't have anything left to give. She's simply doing the best she can. A lack of self-expression is a sure sign of this.
10. Her eating and exercise habits changed drastically
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When a woman is emotionally drained, there are things about her that are bound to change. One of those things is how vigilant she is about her physical fitness. When you're dealing with emotional exhaustion, eating healthy and staying active really isn't a priority. It's all you can do to get out of bed and make it through each day, really.
According to Mount Sinai, there is indeed a link between what you eat and how you feel. "Foods high in fat, sugar and salt can become more appealing when you are under stress, are in a bad mood or feel bad about yourself," they said. Much like alcohol, food can relieve stress, but only temporarily.
Similarly, it can be difficult to find the motivation to exercise when you don't really have the motivation for, well... anything. Cafasso pointed out that exercising will release endorphins and increase your serotonin levels, which will actually help with emotional exhaustion in the long run. Unfortunately, finding the will to power through and get it done is the hardest part of the battle.
11. She doesn't reach out to her inner circle anymore
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Everyone needs support from others. We weren't meant to do life on our own. But for women who are emotionally drained, reaching out to others, even those closest to them, can just feel like too much. Slowly but surely, they will isolate themselves from family and friends who just want to help.
Isolation or avoidance are both signs of emotional exhaustion, but this is the exact opposite of what you should be doing. According to Cafasso, "Talking face-to-face with a friend is a wonderful way to relieve stress." In situations where a friend is not readily available, she recommended looking into employee assistance programs that offered counseling.
For a woman who is emotionally drained, not reaching out to loved ones and isolating herself will feel like the best thing to do because it's further avoidance of the problem. But really, the issue needs to be faced head-on. Talking with a friend or family member would do wonders for this.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor's degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.