10 Signs Someone In Your Life Is Not Your Soulmate, According To Psychology
If these signals sound familiar, he's not the right person for you.
Prostock-studio | Canva If you’re serious about meeting your soulmate, then you need to stop dating the wrong guys, and unfortunately, many of us fail to recognize the warning signs that indicate a relationship isn’t built to last.
Seriously, there’s nothing as uphill and frustrating as waiting for your soulmate, so if you want to spare yourself from heartbreak, there are definite signs that your partner is not your soulmate.
Here are 10 signs someone in your life is not your soulmate, according to psychology:
1. No matter how much you try, you can’t trust them
If you’re constantly questioning your partner’s motives, the things he tells you, or his whereabouts, there is something majorly amiss. If you are always acting like Sherlock Holmes with your partner, he is doing shady stuff and that alone proves that there is no future in your relationship.
You can’t spend your life constantly on the lookout, that’s exhausting. A soulmate will honor and respect your relationship, even when you’re not around.
Without trust, there is no relationship. Period.
It's something every single person in a relationship can agree on, with one study from Eastern Illinois University finding that 100% of the participants believe trust is a key factor in maintaining a long-term relationship.
2. You don’t have good communication
He seems to understand the concept of having good communication but for some reason, he doesn’t seem to find a way to put it into practice. He either bickers and starts random fights or doesn’t talk to you at all.
When it comes to understanding your needs and wants he just doesn’t put in the effort. Sorry, but without good communication with your partner, your relationship is just not going to work long-term.
Communication is one of the essential ways we connect, and it’s how you keep a healthy relationship. A soulmate goes above and beyond to find a middle ground when it comes to understanding each other’s needs.
3. You just don’t connect at a deep emotional level
If you feel like your connection is mainly surface level and he’s okay keeping things that way, then it means he’s probably not that invested in you or the relationship. You need to know your partner intimately and this goes way beyond your love life. You need to know who he is, what he wants in life, and what his goals, dreams, and fears are.
A soulmate wants to dig deep into your soul to get to know all those things, so if your partner is not at all interested in opening up to you or learning about you and what matters to you, then he’s not the guy for you.
4. You’re uncomfortable being yourself when you’re around them
If when you are around them, you feel like you can’t be yourself because they make you regularly anxious, and stressed out, are always fighting, and bring out the worst in you, he is not the right person. I’m not claiming that women can’t be emotionally complex and hard for guys to get.
But it’s important to make sure you’re not changing who you are just to make your partner happy. Also, your partner should want to make you feel happy and loved, not stressed and sad.
Love shouldn't be hard, especially in the beginning. It should be the easiest choice you ever make, and feeling truly known by someone shouldn't scare you, research from the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology says. Don’t forget to stay true to yourself.
5. Your relationship lacks common values
Everyone’s values are different. Every relationship involves compromise, but if your values are too different than your partner’s, you will face major hurdles ahead. If his values oppose your own, it may be time to end the relationship and move on. Soulmates will have a basic, shared vision for their future.
6. You no longer have fun with them
If the sense of adventure and having fun has disappeared after the honeymoon phase, then why are you even dating this person? You need a guy who’s willing to continue to find joy in you and the relationship.
If your partner is only interested in sitting around the house and doesn’t care that you want a real date night, where you both get dressed up and go out to dinner, then there’s a problem. Toss him.
Ketut Subiyanto / Pexels
7. He doesn’t enhance your life
You deserve someone who helps your personal growth and makes you feel like you have endless potential. A soulmate will show you a better side of life — a side you didn’t even know existed and is the person who introduces you to a better way of living.
It’s someone who makes you see your potential when you don’t feel confident. If your partner doesn’t bring that into your life, it’s time you find someone who does.
8. You are complete opposites but not the kind that attracts
If he likes staying indoors, while you like spending as much time outdoors as possible. You want kids, but he doesn’t, he likes pets, but you don’t.
You don’t have to date someone who’s just like you, but you don’t want them to be your polar opposite. Differences are fine if you can find a middle ground. But there are some things you may not be willing to compromise on.
9. You can picture yourself with other people
You can find others physically attractive, it’s completely normal, we are humans, but if you can picture yourself with other people, have doubts and there have been times you’ve wished you weren’t in a relationship just so you could explore other interests, that’s a red flag you need to consider.
If he was really “the one,” the idea of not being with him would make you sad and you could not picture yourself being with anyone else.
10. You feel it in your gut
If there’s something that feels off about the relationship then your inner guidance (your gut) is letting you know he’s not the one. Listen to it. Or if you find yourself questioning whether or not he’s your soulmate? It’s probably because you just haven’t admitted to yourself that he’s not!
So could you do it? You may be scared to admit it, because of how “perfect” he is. It might sound cheesy, but a soulmate makes your heart skip a beat, and you will “know” when you have met your soulmate. You won’t have any doubts about it.
If you notice any of these signs in your relationship, it means he is not your soulmate. You may be happy with him, but not as happy as you would be if he was the right guy for you. Make sure you’re aware of the differences! You don’t want to get wrapped up in a relationship with someone you know you’re not going to be with long-term. Trust your intuition.
Mitzi Hernandez is a freelance writer whose work has been published in El Sol de México, Thought Catalog, Unwritten, El Heraldo de Chihuahua, El Sol de Zacatecas, and more.