10 Small Signs Someone's Not Taking Good Care Of Themselves, Backed By Research
These signals suggest that someone's health may not be a top priority for them.
Liza Summer | Canva By now, you've heard of self-care so the question is: why aren’t you doing it? Yes, I know, you have a million things to do. You aren’t sure if you’ll ever get them done, but you are sure going to try.
This could come with a cost. And that cost is you. So, why don't you take care of yourself? Nobody can do it all. But, you are led to believe that you can. Too often, you worry about others and try to take care of them — but you don't worry about yourself. It’s alright to chip away at your to-do list.
Do a little today and then a little tomorrow, and so on. Make sure you listen to your body and take breaks when you need to. The good news is you can stop being a person who's not taking care of themselves.
Here are the signs someone you know is not taking good care of themselves:
1. They get sick a lot
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According to the CDC, the average adult gets around two to three colds per year. If someone finds that they're getting sick way more often than that, it may be because their body is in need of some TLC.
Chronic stress, lack of sleep, no exercise, and poor nutrition can all contribute to wearing your body down over time, leading to you getting sick more than most.
2. They are snapping at others for no reason
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There's no denying that irritating things are bound to happen from day to day. However, if someone is extremely annoyed by even the smallest transgressions and take their anger out on people who don't deserve it, it may be a sign that they're not taking good care of themself.
According to research from The International Journal of Mental Health Nursing, increased irritability can happen for several reasons, both mental and physical, including sleep deprivation, stress, anxiety, and depression.
3. They're surprised at how easily frustrated they get
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Frustration is a natural stress response, but when someone is taking good care of themself, the feeling comes and goes.
However, a 2019 study found that long-term stress has several negative effects on your overall well-being and can eventually begin negatively affecting your relationships if you begin taking your frustration out on others.
4. Their friends and loved ones start pulling away
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Left unchecked, irritability and frustration can lead to aggressive behavior. If people constantly feel like they have to walk on eggshells around someone, they may no longer want to spend time in their presence.
When friends and loved ones withdraw, it can be a strong indicator that someone is not taking care of themself. Social withdrawal often stems from a lack of emotional availability or unhealthy behaviors that strain relationships, which can be a subconscious signal for others to create distance to protect themselves.
A 2015 study showed a strong correlation between social support networks and positive mental health. When people feel their social connections are weakening, it can be a sign they are not prioritizing their well-being, leading to isolation and loneliness.
5. They rely on caffeine, wine, or some other substance to get through the day
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We all have coping mechanisms to get us through the hard days, but if someone is constantly turning to things like caffeine and other substances to temporarily feel better, it's a sign of an underlying issue or issues that should be addressed.
While unhealthy coping mechanisms such as alcohol, painkillers, and even caffeine provide temporary relief, they often make the underlying problems worse in the long run, a 2023 analysis explained.
6. They dread going to work
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Even those who love their jobs sometimes have days where they'd rather just stay home. However, consistently abandoning projects you once felt excited about, skating by doing the bare minimum, or calling out of work altogether are red flags that suggest your lack of motivation may be due to something more serious.
Consistently dreading going to work is a strong indicator that you are not adequately taking care of your mental and emotional well-being, often signifying signs of burnout, poor work-life balance, or underlying stress that could impact your overall health if left unaddressed.
Research from a 2016 study found that dreading work can manifest as anxiety, depression, or increased stress levels, all of which can negatively affect your overall mental health and well-being if not managed effectively.
7. They are fatigued, and can’t seem to snap out of it
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Feeling tired throughout the day is not normal.
A constant lack of energy can be caused by both physical and mental ailments that should be addressed sooner rather than later.
8. They're on edge and worry all the time
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It's natural to worry from time to time, but if you feel squeezed from all angles all the time, it may be a signal from your body that something's gotta give.
Constantly feeling on edge and worrying excessively is a strong indicator of poor self-care, as it often points towards an underlying anxiety disorder, which can significantly impact daily functioning and overall well-being.
Research from a 2021 study suggests that factors like poor sleep habits, inadequate nutrition, lack of physical activity, and high stress levels can contribute to heightened anxiety, emphasizing the importance of self-care practices to mitigate these factors.
9. They don't treat themselves to anything special
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If all you do is work, come home, and repeat, you're bound to start feeling burnt out. We all deserve a little treat now and again.
Whether that's ordering takeout on a night that you don't feel like making dinner or spending an extra hour in bed on a weekend morning just because.
10. They don’t feel creative and are no longer trying new things
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Feeling bored by everything and not being able to find joy in everyday life is a sign that you've been all work and no play for far too long!
Avoiding trying new things can be considered neglecting self-care. It often stems from a fear of the unknown, hindering personal growth and cognitive flexibility, crucial for maintaining mental well-being. Research from San Diego State University concluded that staying in a comfort zone without pushing boundaries can limit one's ability to adapt and thrive.
If you didn’t say "yes" to any of these things, then good for you — you've mastered the art of self-care! This is not an easy thing to do. But, if you said "yes" to one of these things, then you aren’t worried about yourself enough or taking very good care of yourself.
I think way too many people say "yes" to this list. You live in a fast-paced society and are told to do more. That’s what you need to do to get ahead. But, this leaves you feeling empty and like it’s never enough.
Lianne Avila is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. She is dedicated to helping couples and has completed Levels 1, 2, and 3 at The Gottman Institute.