6 Signs Someone Is An Energy Vampire Who Will Only Drain You
What to do when it feels like the life is being sucked out of you by another person.
AntonioGuillem | Canva Where do you find energy vampires? Remember back in the day when you could go to concerts, plays, or live seminars? Think back on it. You get seated with a few people on either side of you, and settle in for the event. It’s high energy and a great presentation. You're doing great and then, all of sudden, you jolt awake as you realize you had been leaning your head on your hand and you slipped off, jerking yourself back to life.
After the intermission, you grab a new seat at the end of an aisle. Perhaps, you were surrounded by energy vampires. We are surrounded by people who sap the energy out of us. How do we identify them and then what can we do about it? Prepare yourself for the answer because it’s not what you think.
Here are 6 signs someone is an energy vampire who will only drain you:
1. You experience a loss of attention
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Despite your desire to pay attention to a person, it’s a strain to keep your focus. You want to hear every word but discover yourself missing parts of the conversation.
2. You're tired, even though you've had plenty of sleep
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You got plenty of sleep and felt strong, attentive, and awake. Then, you meet with someone and find yourself covering your mouth so as not to expose a yawn. You weren’t tired, and yet now you’re yawning.
3. You lack creativity or inspiration
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Although some people will claim they're not, all of us are creative and insightful to some degree. Coming up with ideas, insights, and good suggestions is one of the ways we feel like we’re contributing. Research from 2013 even confirms creativity is a sign of intelligence.
If you feel like you’ve lost interest, aren’t motivated to follow a conversation, and your mind is blank, other than maybe wanting to escape there are one or more energy vampires in the room — and they are close by.
4. You're selective about who you spend time with
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You have a variety of friends. Some you love to be with and can spend hours with and, even if you were physically active, always seemed to be more energized after your time together.
Other friends, you love to see and be with, but definitely for more limited amounts of time. After leaving, you may feel like a nap would be great.
5. You feel misunderstood
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You're having a discussion with someone, and find yourself taking more time to get clarity and making sure you are understood when you expand on an idea. Simply said, there are a lot of misunderstandings, from small to large.
You think you're being perfectly clear when you speak, but when checking in, discover the person either missed what you said or misunderstood you. They might be having the same challenges as you.
6. The energy is off
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What this means is that many of the things you find humorous and make you giggle inside, the other person may not get. Or, they say something to you or share a story with you thinking it's funny, and you're amused but not at the story.
You find yourself thinking this person is indeed "funny" but in a strange sort of sense. Some people are less energetically compatible — it's science. The six scenarios above make you feel like your energy has drained; it might be slight or could completely floor you.
How can you tell if you are an energy vampire? Prepare yourself because although the above are signs you've encountered an energy vampire, you may not realize that you are an energy vampire to them.
"What? That’s impossible!" you say. "I’m the one getting drained, not them!"
Yes, it may seem that way, but ultimately, both of you are taking an energetic hit. Sometimes, it might be more pronounced for one than the other and sometimes it is the same.
The reason is that you have two different genetically determined energetic frequencies. You vibrate differently and communicate differently. You listen and use words differently. You even write differently. You express emotions differently.
But, most importantly, the two frequencies repel each other. So, you feel like the energy has been sucked out of you.
The challenge is that some of these people are coworkers and business partners. Some are your besties, parents, siblings, children, or partners.
You may be intrigued by them, like them, love them, or even be infatuated by them, and they will still impact your energy level. They are accurately one-half of all the people on this planet while you're the other half.
We are all energy vampires to someone at one time or another. Given that, I’m not going to tell you to "slay them before they drain you." That would be cruel and also put you at odds with half the population. Worse, it would make you have a negative judgment of others.
If you need and desire love and connection, judgment is a sure way not to get it. Instead, embrace them. Honor that they are uniquely different from you.
When you want to spend time with someone important to you, be time efficient. Make sure you have plenty of rest first. If you need to spend more time with them and feel yourself getting drained, step away for a moment, give yourself some space, breathe fresh air, get your energy back, and then return.
It's okay to not want to spend time with them, even if they're family or your committed romantic partner. When you're together, you can do so fully embracing that both of you are unique, different, and committed to quality time with each other.
If you choose not to, you can do it without guilt, shame, or blame. Most importantly, you can entirely drop the belief that they are intentionally trying to suck the life out of you because, after all, there is no such thing as real vampires.
Larry Michel is the father of Genetic Energetics, a typology to help us love more fully and connect more deeply. He is also a world-renowned relationship coach who works with people across the globe to find the greatest joy, inspiration, growth, abundance, and excitement in their relationships.