10 Signs Someone Is Avoiding All Their Problems Even If They Try To Hide It
Avoiding problems doesn't make them go away.
iaginzburg | Shutterstock Everyone goes through difficult times at some point in their lives. Some people face their problems head-on, while others rely on maladaptive coping strategies by avoiding all their problems, even if they try to hide it.
Someone's ability to deal with challenges depends on their level of emotional resilience and whether or not they have available support networks to lean on. The more isolated a person is, the more likely they'll struggle to deal with their problems.
People don't always share what they're going through, but there are certain indications that reveal when they're in distress. While reaching out and asking for help isn't easy, it's always better to seek support than try to handle issues alone.
Here are 10 signs someone is avoiding all their problems even if they try to hide it
1. They overwork
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Some people deal with their problems by keeping themselves excessively busy. They pile on work projects as a way to avoid confronting what's really going on in their life. By overcommitting themselves, they don't give themselves any downtime to reflect on their problems or process difficult feelings. Yet their propensity for overworking can lead to higher stress, physical ailments, and heightens their risk of experiencing extreme burnout.
When someone works to avoid all their problems, it's highly likely that those problems will become exacerbated. By tamping down their true feelings, they end up feeling disconnected from themselves and the people around them. Their level of emotional disengagement often leads them to commit to their jobs even more, which only perpetuates the cycle of avoiding all their problems.
2. They experience mood swings
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A sign that someone is avoiding all their problems even if they try to hide it is having consistent mood swings. They can go from feeling calm and stable to feeling irritated, sad, or angry without warning. They tend to experience frequent and sudden changes in mood because they're not addressing the underlying issues that are causing them so much distress and anguish.
Psychologist Nick Wignall explained that an essential aspect of maintaining emotional balance is to let yourself feel the full range of your emotions. People who are emotionally balanced accept having painful feelings as a normal part of the human experience.
As Wignall pointed out, "When you lean into painful emotions by acknowledging them and accepting them, you allow them to run their course and dissipate." He concluded, "The harder you try to escape painful emotions, the more you intensify them."
When someone is avoiding all their problems, even if they try to hide it, their emotions won't disappear; rather, they'll become amplified. Reassuring yourself that it's okay to have hard feelings is the first step to moving through them and moving on.
3. They focus on helping other people
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Another sign someone is avoiding all their problems is that they focus on helping other people, instead of dealing with their own personal struggles.
They use helping others as a distraction technique, which allows them to deflect their emotions and put their energy toward issues that have nothing to do with them. While being a supportive friend and family member is valuable, it's important to know when to ask for help.
By going out of their way to lend a helping hand or act as a shoulder to cry on, they're giving themselves an excuse to not navigate their own problems. No person is an island, which means that everyone needs extra support at certain times. If someone refuses to seek out that support, it's highly likely that they'll be treading water until they're completely depleted.
4. They sleep more than usual
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Getting a good night's sleep is important for people's physical and mental health, but if someone is avoiding all their problems, it's possible that they're doing so by sleeping an unhealthy amount.
Experiencing depression and anxiety is exhausting on every level, and some people handle their psychological struggles by diving into bed and sleeping more than usual. It's tempting to want to shut the world out when life gets hard, but sleeping too much doesn't solve the underlying reason that someone feels unwell.
While there are mental health benefits to staying in bed and decompressing, there's such a thing as too much "bed rotting." Oversleeping is a sign that someone is avoiding all their problems, even if they try to hide it. Finding actual mental health support is essential, like seeing a therapist, attending a support group, or reaching out to loved ones, so as to not feel so alone.
5. They act overly optimistic
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Someone who is avoiding all their problems might try to hide how they feel by putting on a brave face and acting happy, even when they're struggling. They might feign excitement in social situations to mask what's really happening.
By acting overly optimistic, they avoid letting anyone know that they're going through something difficult, which means that no one will question them, so they don't have to open up or be vulnerable.
They might channel toxically positive vibes and insist that they're okay and everything is going to be fine, without actually taking practical steps to deal with their problems. By using happiness as a shield, they protect themselves from having to process their true emotions.
6. They move or travel a lot
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Going on vacation is a great way to experience new places, meet new people, and relax, but frequent relocation could be a sign someone is avoiding all their problems, even if they try to hide it. They might bounce around from place to place so that they don't have to deal with the issues that are going on at home. They push away their "real lives" and take trips as a method of avoidance.
They might think they can outrun their problems, but changing locations doesn't change their internal emotional geography. They might be able to achieve a brief respite from whatever's challenging them by going somewhere different, but sooner or later, they're going to be faced with the same problems they've been running away from. As the saying goes, "Wherever you go, there you are."
7. They minimize their own feelings
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Someone who's avoiding all their problems might try to hide it by downplaying their feelings, both to others and to themselves. They dismiss their own emotions because they don't want to acknowledge how painful it is to sit with how they feel. By minimizing their experience, they send themselves a message that they're not worth caring about, which can make them feel even worse.
They might pretend that their feelings don't matter, brushing off any offers of support from people around them. They go through their daily routines without taking time to think about how they feel, and when an uncomfortable emotion does arise, they push it right back down and make it small enough to try and ignore. Yet not processing their emotions only makes their problems come back even stronger, until they're finally forced to face them directly.
8. They have a perfect social media presence
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Social media is a double-edged sword. In some ways, it's a tool for connection, allowing people to share their experiences and feel less alone. Yet social media can be harmful, especially when it's used as a way to compare yourself to other people.
A sign someone is avoiding all their problems even if they try to hide it is curating an impossibly perfect social media presence. They might post photo after photo, capturing what they ate for brunch, what they wore to brunch, and who they had brunch with, but those photos don't tell the whole story.
Social media often functions as a distorted mirror. It's a window that allows people to peek into someone else's life, but we can't see what's actually going on after they put their phones away. While some people use social media to share the messy, imperfect parts of their lives, others hide what they're going through.
Yet pretending that everything's perfect only works for a little while, and doing so can make someone feel disconnected from their actual life. It creates a sense of distance and detachment, which might make people who are struggling feel even more alone.
9. They agree with everyone
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Another sign someone is avoiding all their problems is agreeing with everyone around them. By saying "yes" all the time and leaning into their people-pleasing tendencies, they consequently don't have to face whatever's happening beneath the surface. They're lax with their own boundaries and they don't have self-respect.
Some people might agree with everything others say because they want to side-step conflict or any situation where they have to talk about themselves in a more in-depth way. Their constant agreement is a deflection tactic, one that allows them to avoid all their problems.
10. They only have superficial conversations
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Keeping conversations centered on small talk is another sign someone is avoiding all their problems, even if they try to hide it. They shy away from sharing anything personal about themselves, or change the subject whenever a topic gets heavy or goes deeper than they're willing to let themselves get. They focus their social interactions on superficial connections, so they can avoid talking about the issues they're trying to ignore.
They might ask about your family, your job, and your weekend, but refuse to share anything about their own life. They might get uncomfortable if you ask them questions, and go quiet or make up an excuse to leave. If someone seems like they're not letting people get close to them, it might indicate that they're trying to hide their problems.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers social issues, pop culture analysis and all things to do with the entertainment industry.