5 Subtle Signs Of A Person Who’s Quietly Building A Good Life, According To Research
Your life doesn't have to be extravagant to be happy.
Abbat | Unsplash Thriving in life doesn’t always look like shiny cars or grand vacations. Sometimes, it’s subtle, quiet, and may not even seem like what others consider traditional success. It’s a weird situation we’re all in.
The truth is that there are a lot of problems that come with modern life. It’s easy to feel hopeless. Believe it or not, you still could be making progress even if you’re not where you think you should be. These subtle signs suggest you’re silently creating an amazing life for yourself.
Here are the subtle signs of a person who’s quietly building a good life:
1. They don’t feel like they need a partner to be complete
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It is okay to want a partner. It is okay to feel like you are not getting anything for your efforts in the dating scene and to feel like you were cheated as a result. It’s okay to worry about being single.
It’s not okay to need a partner. The difference here is the want and need. Trust me when I say I hate being single. Like, with a passion. However, when you need a partner, the dynamic in your life changes. It turns into one of desperation.
When you are desperate, people are not going to want to deal with you — even if you have a lot to offer. As bad as it is in terms of humanity’s nature, humans are hardwired to want what they can’t have. We crave exclusivity and unavailability.
That’s why desperation isn’t attractive. If you know you want a partner but are okay with not having one, congrats. You’re doing way better than a large portion of singles out there.
Feeling self-sufficient and not needing a partner can foster personal growth, independence, and resilience, leading to greater self-awareness and a stronger sense of self-reliance. Studies have shown that people who are content with being single tend to have better mental health outcomes, including lower levels of stress, depression, and loneliness.
2. They have a strong support network
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Did you know that we are in the middle of a loneliness epidemic? It’s true, and it is causing physical damage. If the only person you talk to in life is a potential partner, then you are not doing well.
You should put dating on the back burner until you find friends — either online or IRL. When you expect a partner to be your whole social life, you will end up making them feel smothered. It also makes you feel insecure when he’s/she’s out with friends.
Having no support network puts you at a huge disadvantage life-wise and dating-wise. A strong support network is crucial for building a good life.
A 2015 study found that it offers benefits like improved mental health, resilience in the face of stress, and enhanced well-being. A good support network can also provide access to valuable information, advice, and resources that can help navigate life's challenges.
3. They aren't afraid to meet new people and try new things
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It doesn’t matter if you are out moshing at a show or going to a game tournament. If you are getting out of the house and actively interacting with people of all genders, ages, and interests, you are doing better than a lot of people these days.
Anxiety has made a lot of people total shut-ins. And sadly, that puts them in a position prone to media that could make them hateful, encourage extremism, and further isolate them. That’s not good.
Embracing social interaction and meeting new people rather than fearing it leads to numerous benefits, such as increased happiness, reduced stress, improved mental and physical well-being, and stronger social connections. A 2017 study concluded that exploring relationships and finding connections with others helps individuals understand themselves better and feel more complete.
4. They won’t settle for just anyone
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I’m a believer in keeping very high standards for the people you have in your circles. That is doubly true when it comes to dates. Both men and women should vet their partners thoroughly.
When I was single, I often would settle for people who weren’t ideal. I overlooked traits that should have been warning signs, simply because I wanted to believe in the best in people.
That never worked out well. It got me hurt and used. If you are the type of person who's able to block and cut off people when they treat you badly or just don’t fit the bill, you’re doing a lot better than most.
According to a 2023 study, striving for more than just 'good enough' and avoiding settling can lead to more incredible personal growth, fulfillment, and a more meaningful life, allowing individuals to reach their full potential and experience greater happiness. While striving for more is essential, it's also crucial to find contentment in what you have and appreciate the good things in life.
5. They know what they want and go after it
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I’ll be honest. Most men (and some women) I meet do not know what they want. They think they know what they want.
They want the status of being married as well as the Kodak moments. They may also want other things.
But, let’s be real. The vast majority of people do not want the commitment, the increased workload they have to do, nor do they know what they truly want in a partner. It’s a two-way street!
It’s better to realize you’re not a "relationship" person and be honest about what you want than to end up in a relationship you hate. Too many people corner themselves because they got into a relationship they didn’t want.
If you are a relationship person, work to be a better partner for the time when you do find someone. If you’re not, it’s fine to be a loner.
If you aren’t sure what you want, ask yourself why you want it and be honest with yourself. You might be surprised.
Romantic success does not always mean that you have a partner. There are tons of people whose relationships hurt them more than they improve their lives. There are also tons of people who don't know why they want what they think they want.
At the end of the day, romantic success is more about being content with who you are (alone or together) than it is about how your intimate life is going. Being happy in your situation is a lot harder than people make it to be, and it’s time we as a society acknowledge that.
The sooner we redefine what success is, the healthier and happier we become.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, Newtheory Magazine, and others.
