Why We Need To Show Our 'Potato Days' & Not Just Our 'Beyonce Days'
Yes, it's hard. But if you can't do it for you, do it for everyone around you.
EnDyk / Getty Images and Youngoldman / Getty Images Pro It's easy to feel like we must always look perfect and successful. After all, we see influencers and celebrities sharing their happiest and most glamorous moments. Even if we consciously recognize that life isn't always like that, the message seeps in: you're not good enough.
Those days when we're tired, vulnerable, and just not at our peak feel like failures. But they're not. In fact, they're worth showing the world.
Author, poet, actress, and overall lovely human being Arielle Estoria calls these our "Potato Days" and insists we give a gift to ourselves and others when we share them with the world — but admits it's not that easy.
As she told host Andrea Miller on the podcast Open Relationships: Transforming Together, even influencers known for body positivity (like herself) can easily fall prey to only showing their "Beyoncé Days", as she calls them. For Estoria, opening up is at the core of her book, The Unfolding: An Invitation to Come Home to Yourself.
The Gift of Sharing 'Potato Days' & Not Just Our 'Beyoncé Days'
While it's nice to see others doing well, it's also good to be real about the tough times. Sharing our struggles helps others see that it's normal to have ups and downs. It also helps us connect on a deeper level.
Let's be real, we are not "In Formation" every day.
Talking about our Potato Days isn't just about being honest. It's also about taking care of ourselves. Trying to seem perfect all the time is tiring and not realistic.
When we accept and talk about our not-so-great moments, we feel better about ourselves and less stressed. We also give the gift of real life to anyone watching.
Otherwise, it's all happy couples, perfect children, and obedient pets set against a glowing background. And that is just not real life. Even if we know that nobody's life is perfect, being surrounded by perfection 24/7 on social media can undermine reality — even for the most secure among us.
When we only share our Beyoncé Days, we make it seem like being perfect is the only acceptable way to be. This sets up unrealistic standards for ourselves and others, which can make us feel bad when we can't meet them.
We see the glitz and glamour, the big yacht parties, and hot girl morning routines. We know it's unrealistic but we strive for those standards anyway.
It's all too easy to fall into the trap of comparing our behind-the-scenes reality to someone else's carefully crafted façade. This comparison culture undermines our self-esteem and perpetuates a cycle of discontentment and striving for unattainable perfection.
Social media amplifies these feelings by providing a constant stream of aspirational content, making it crucial to practice mindfulness and self-awareness to combat the negative effects of comparison culture.
Our lives are full of times when we're not at our best, and that's okay. By sharing these moments, we show that it's normal to struggle and that it's okay to ask for help when we need it. This helps us connect with others and build relationships based on honesty and support.
Being open about our vulnerabilities also helps us feel better mentally. Trying to always look perfect is stressful and can make us feel anxious or sad. Let's be real, it's exhausting to pretend like we have a perfect life every day 24/7.
But by being real and showing that we're not perfect, we permit ourselves to be human — with all our flaws and imperfections.
It creates a culture of honesty and acceptance where everyone feels okay being themselves — even when they're not at their best.
These days are not failures. They are empowering. They are an education.
Of course, it's still important to celebrate our successes and feel good about ourselves. But it's also important to remember that it's okay not to be perfect all the time.
So next time you're tempted to only show your best side, remember the beauty in being real. Embrace your vulnerabilities, be honest about who you are, and remember that true strength comes from accepting yourself — warts and all!
Deauna Roane is a writer and the Editorial Project Manager for YourTango. She's had bylines in Emerson College's literary magazine, Generic, and MSN.