Why You Should Spend College Looking For Your Bridesmaids, Not Your Husband
College is the time to find yourself.
Jacob Lund / Shutterstock By Rachel Hartwick
After lockers are cleared out and graduation caps are thrown into the air, teenage sweethearts start to evaluate their options for the big move to college. Schedules are cleared for the summer, making more time for fun and less time for romance.
Deciding whether or not to cut off ties with your partner before going your separate ways is a challenge that many high school couples must eventually face. These couples start to realize that there’s a much larger palette to choose from on a 20,000-person campus than the small class of students you’ve grown up with since pre-K.
While it’s all fun and games the first quarter or two of college, admit it: when the weather gets cold and your fellow hallmates are finding boys to have snuggly movie nights with, you’re going to start to crave that special someone.
It’s normal to want to feel loved, but when you’re single as a pringle, finding this sense of comfort can be hard.
But don’t let those feelings cause you to settle on a boyfriend or girlfriend, especially if he or she isn’t up to your standard. College isn’t the time to be tied down in a serious relationship.
More likely than not, you’ll find your bridesmaids in college, not your husband.
And if you do engage in a long-term college relationship that ends up falling through, you’re going to look back and remember all the times you spent at home fighting with your boyfriend instead of out making memories with your girlfriends.
Spend your Sundays with your friends, laughing about the crazy things you did the night before, not curled up in bed worrying what your boyfriend was doing.
There’s a saying that boys are not even worth messing with until they turn at least 27. That cute frat boy that just admitted to you he did lines of cocaine and has already slept with 17 different girls? Yeah, he’s a loser.
As hot as he is, do you really want your future husband to have those sort of values? And who wants to have to constantly worry if their boyfriend is mature enough to take care of himself?
There will probably be no other time in your life where it is socially accepted — almost encouraged — to get hammered several times a week and be sexually promiscuous. That’s something older you would tell younger you to take advantage of while you can, because life after college gets pretty boring.
Throughout these four years, you will probably meet a few people that will break your heart. You’ll claim they were the loves of your life and that you’ll never find someone as perfect as them again.
But by the time you’re out of college and in a stable job, odds are, you’re going to find someone that will put all the other “loves of your life” to shame.
College is the time to find yourself. We change from our freshman year of college to our senior year more than we probably ever will again, so don’t let someone hold you back.
Now is the time to find out what makes you happy, so that when you do find “the one,” he is someone who you can share your interests with as opposed to someone you think you need in order to feel whole.
It’s hard to imagine a wedding without a group of girls that you’ve been through all those crazy ups and downs with. Sooner than you know it, the highlight of your day will be settling down for the night to watch your 7:30 pm episode of "Jeopardy."
So make mistakes, experiment around, and kiss whoever you want to, because this is the best four years of your life.
Rachel Hartwick is a freelance writer and content strategist located in Cincinnati. Her work has been featured in Japan Today, GaijinPot, The Post, and ReadUnwritten.com. Visit her author profile for more.