Server Shares 6 'Controversial' Things She Does To Show Her Tables Who's Boss
Servers are people, too.
Gerard_3183 | Canva Pro There are so many different types of servers you might come across when dining in America. Most of the time, servers go above and beyond for their customers to ensure a quality dining experience and a generous tip, some servers prefer to do the bare minimum.
Many people might find this astounding, but when your job is to interact with people from all walks of life, it’s reasonable why you might prefer to not waste your energy doing things that won’t make a difference either way.
One young server claimed she has some controversial tricks when she's working that ensure her tables know that she's in charge.
The server took to TikTok to share the six ‘controversial’ things she’s learned to do that let her tables know who's boss:
The young woman, who goes by @eatwithjeej, frequently posts about her relatable experiences as a server, her relationship with her family, and the different snacks she prepares and eats.
In one video, she shared the six things she does as a server that many people might find controversial as she cut into a fresh watermelon.
1. She doesn’t bring water unless her customers ask
“If somebody asks for a coffee, I’m not just going to bring water and a coffee because, like, America is so dehydrated,” the woman explained. “That’s one thing you learn — people don’t touch their drinks. It’s just a waste, and it’s also harder to carry.”
After encountering one too many individuals who neglected their water cups, the woman concluded that it’s less straining and less wasteful to simply let her customers ask for water if they want it.
Many individuals, including those in the service industry, might disagree with her approach. Her argument is valid, but asking your tables if they want water is likely a better act of service that still considers the factors she mentioned while offering quality service.
2. She usually hands the check to the man
She expressed that she’ll try to leave the check in the middle of the table as often as she can, but when there are plates and other things in the way, she’ll just hand the check to the man of the group.
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“Most of the time, as you see as a server, it’s usually the guy paying, or they’ll split the check,” she said. “So either way, it doesn’t matter who has it at that point.”
Of course, servers should avoid making assumptions about their tables and who is paying, but she made a point in her observation that men pay for the checks more often than not.
3. She walks away if her tables ignore her
Most servers are quite familiar with the experience of walking up to a table to ask if they’re ready to order, only for the table to mindlessly ignore them. While most servers will respectfully let them know they’ll give them some more time, the woman said she feels there’s no need to say anything if the table isn’t acknowledging her presence anyway.
“I’m not going to say, ‘I’ll be back.’ I literally will just walk away, and I’ll come back in like five minutes once you guys are fully ready to order,” she asserted. “It’s just annoying, and it’s a waste of both of our time, and it’s rude.”
4. She doesn’t go out of her way for rude customers
“I’m very nice, and I’ll go out of my way for you; I’ll get you extra stuff, do whatever you need until you’re rude to me,” she stated. “Then I’ll just be an average server; I won’t really talk; I’ll just kind of get you in and out.”
In the same way that customers prefer to tip based on the quality of their waiter’s service, waiters also have a right to deliver quality service depending on the customers’ level of respect. While it is a server’s job and responsibility to prioritize customer needs regardless of how respectful they are, servers are people, too, and it’s unfair to go out of their way to please those who don’t truly value the service.
It’s not like the woman said she is rude to those who are rude to her — this would certainly signify being the wrong person for the job. She simply doesn’t feel the need to offer top-notch service to those she believes don’t deserve it. This may be a controversial subject for many, but she is entitled to the type of service she prefers to deliver.
5. She doesn’t give extra napkins unless a customer asks
The server explained that every table is set with napkins before their meal, so she finds it unnecessary to bring extra napkins if they didn’t specifically ask.
Automatically bringing extra napkins with every table’s food order may be considered quality service, but she argued that she thinks it’s wasteful, as some tables won’t use every napkin.
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While people might believe this signifies poor service, she is simply aiming to be mindful of waste and cost, and she has no problem bringing extra napkins to those who ask.
6. She gives her honest input on what people order if they ask
Rather than claiming everything on the menu is good, the woman said she prefers to be transparent with her customers and let them know what’s better if they’re struggling to decide what they want to order.
If she believes something is not worth ordering and someone asks if it is, she’ll be honest with them, as that is what most customers prefer. After all, if they want her input, it’s only fair to provide that.
Not every server is going to offer the same type of service.
Every server is different and has their own strengths and preferences. Not everyone is going to be as overtly helpful and kind, especially if the customer isn’t. In my personal experience, I’ve dealt with servers who have been much more rude than the woman in the video appeared to be. As someone who worked as a server myself, I can also relate to many of the points she made.
Sometimes, it’s easier for servers to let their customers communicate their unique preferences, as not every patron will require the same service. Some individuals might prefer more privacy, and others will require much more hands-on attention. However, customers should understand that the quality of their service ultimately depends on how they treat their servers.
Most servers prefer not to overexert themselves and be walked over by customers who lack basic manners and respect. Sure, they may miss the opportunity to earn a better tip, but some simply don’t think a couple extra dollars is worth poor treatment.
It’s not as though the woman stated she is visibly rude to customers who get on her nerves — she simply doesn't go the extra mile because it’s not fair to herself, and she’s valid to feel that way.
Francesca Duarte is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team based in Orlando, FL. She covers lifestyle, human-interest, adventure, and spirituality topics.