Science Confirms That Men Are, In Fact, Idiots
Scientific research you can use to back up your argument.
Shooting Star Studio / Shutterstock By Rachael Schultz.
Sure, we joke about it, and it's something that all women throughout history have known, but now science supports it: Men are idiots, and they won't live as long as women.
A study has confirmed that men are, in fact, idiots.
In a study that would seem laughable if it wasn't published in the respectable British Medical Journal, English researchers tested the "male idiot theory" (yes, that actually is the academic name for it) and found that guys are more likely to be admitted to an emergency room because of accidental injuries, sports injuries, or from car accidents. See how in all those bad driver videos you see, it's always a case of road rage between men.
The researchers analyzed idiotic behavior by combing through the winners of the Darwin Award, an honor given to those who "improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it." If that isn't the truest thing you've ever read.
Not only do men make up almost 90 percent of the honorees of the tongue-in-cheek award, but winners are almost always crowned after death — which means the winners are mostly people who died doing stupid stunts (the study authors did note that idiotic men may be more newsworthy than idiotic women, skewing the candidate pool). Have you seen the things men try to do when they're drunk? They think they're invincible.
Listen, we know that men aren't actually dumber than women. After all, men and women now have pretty comparable IQs. But they are more likely to do senseless stuff, say the study authors: Men are more willing to take completely unnecessary risks, simply as a rite of passage or to score bragging rights, and often end up paying a steep price for it.
This is why women live longer: because they know to not do a dumb stunt and don't let their entire gender peer pressure them into doing dangerous things. If a guy is ever causing you problems, or literally breaking your heart, just know that the science is on your side and you can enjoy a nice, long life without him.
And while we're not going to tell you not to use these findings for bragging rights in your house, and for an excuse to call the electrician, even though your guy insists he can fix the problem by himself, don't overlook the real message: While we all know not to stand on the tree limb we're trying to chainsaw off, maybe don't turn your back next time your guy is doing some yardwork, or even washing the dishes because he might just end up in the ER.
Rachael Schultz is a health and fitness journalist and the former online news editor for Shape Magazine.