School Staff Member Admits He’s Exhausted From Being The Students' 'Hero' — ‘I Don’t Like Being Great With Kids’
“I hate being good at my job.”
Tima Miroshnichenko | CanvaPro Teachers across the board are growing frustrated by the lack of administrative support in the face of student behavior issues and overall support. However, amid this collective struggle, some staff members, like a Reddit poster on the “Teachers in Transition” forum, argued that they’re struggling even more with personal resentment in the profession.
“At first I didn’t mind it,” the Reddit poster said in his post, “and really liked it, but now I’m exhausted both physically and mentally … I hate being good at my job.”
Going above and beyond to support students, in comparison to his “lazy” peers, he’s started to resent his role as the students’ “hero” at school. Yes, he loves many of the kids and started in this industry because of a passion, but now, he’s only growing resentful.
A school staff member said he’s burnt out being his students’ ‘hero’ and is struggling because he is good at his job.
“I’m one of the youngest at where I work, and constantly the most involved staff member. I don’t mind playing games, teaching a kid how to shoot a hoop, playing tag, pushing on swings, or playing catch, listening to a story, whatever.”
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When his co-workers are passively supervising or sitting back on their phones, he said he’s interacting with kids. He said every time he’s outside with students, he has at least 4 to 5 kids wanting to have a conversation or rope him into an activity.
“It’s getting exhausting,” he wrote. “I don’t like it anymore. I wish I could be like some of the other staff who are genuinely lazy, they will just sit on their phones.”
Going ‘above and beyond’ for his students, this staff member said it’s now become a chore to be their ‘hero’ at school.
While it’s partially rewarding to have great relationships with his students and reap the benefits of adding value to their lives, he said it’s become too much to keep up with. The kids' energy levels can be overwhelming, and some of the older students' behavior has negatively impacted his mental health.
“There are some particular kids I avoid during my morning shift because of the constant arguments and headaches they give me,” he wrote.
“They’re constantly following me around/badgering me … I genuinely don’t [love working with kids], anyone else feel this way? I’m drained.”
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Many other teachers took to the comments to empathize, sharing it was this burnout that led to their transitioning out of the teaching profession. “Have you gone to management or to a boss about this? From my perspective, you are going above and beyond and others are not … Education is a career that lumps extra responsibilities onto competent workers.”
Outside of setting boundaries with students, a tactic that can be incredibly difficult in school settings, other teachers said he needed to learn to care less. “We tend [as teachers] to care too much. We take what they do and say so personally … It really starts to bring us down, and we start to subconsciously question ourselves,” teacher coach Bethany Kay on TikTok explained.
“You might not even realize it yet … Start paying attention to your triggers in the classroom. What are you making these situations mean about you? This helps us to understand the roots of our burnout.”
Without the support of administrators and co-workers, the school staff member said he is growing resentful of his profession.
“I constantly get told about how great I am with the kids, but truthfully, I don’t like being ‘great with kids.’ I’m sick of the negative energy from some of the older ones … With the younger [students], I love them but I can’t keep doing it anymore.”
Being “good at his job” has turned into a resentful cycle of exhaustion. He feels obligated to go “above and beyond” to support students but cannot help but grow frustrated by their energy, his peers, and his school administration.
Teacher coach Patti Hoelzle on TikTok empathized with the man's conflicting feelings. She argued that he is not alone in his growing resentment and burnout.
If you’re going above and beyond for students to the extent of compromising your own well-being, you’re not doing anyone any favors. At some point, burnout and its consequences will impact both your career and your students’ well-being.
School staff shouldn’t feel burdened to create safe spaces for their students without support from their leadership and administration. It should be a combined effort with funding, mental health resources, and appropriate staffing.
If you’re not feeling supported, set boundaries with your students and your job—whether that means taking an extra break or saying “no” from time to time.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a News & Entertainment Writer at YourTango who focuses on health & wellness, social policy, and human interest stories