School Nurse Pulls 13-Year-Old Student Out Of Class To Confront Her About Her 'Rapid' Weight Gain
While the nurse probably acted out of concern, the girl feels ashamed now.
Mix and Match Studio | Shutterstock The teenage years are a tough time for everyone. Self-doubt, hormone changes, and self-esteem issues all contribute to the mood changes, stress, and struggles of early adolescence. Teen girls often experience the most obvious physical changes, and hopefully, adults are there to offer support — or at least they should be. They most definitely should not be critical, but, as it turns out, that's not always the case.
One young girl found herself having to reckon with what others thought of her weight in what should have been a safe space — the school nurse's office.
A woman asked for advice after her boyfriend’s sister was pulled out of class to discuss her weight gain with the school nurse.
A woman took to Reddit’s “Ask Teachers” forum looking for advice after her boyfriend’s little sister was shamed for her weight by none other than her school nurse. “My boyfriend’s little sister was in tears all weekend because she doesn’t want to go back to school tomorrow,” she shared. “She finally revealed that this past Thursday, she got pulled out of class to go to the nurse’s office.”
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Normally, going to the nurse’s office at school wouldn’t be a huge deal. In this case, it was.
“The nurse asked her if she was feeling okay at home, at school, etc. Then, she said that she and multiple teachers have noticed that she’s gained a lot of weight very rapidly, which alarmed them,” she continued. “She asked if she noticed some mood changes, if she’s eating more than usual [and] if her clothes still fit her normally,” she revealed. “Boyfriend’s sister was in tears the whole time, she said.”
As if this wasn’t bad enough, the nurse had one more shocking request for the girl. “She then got asked to get up and show her inner thighs (to see if her jeans are ripped from chafing). Is this allowed?” she asked helplessly.
The woman explained that she knew school staff had to do their jobs to take care of the students, but she felt they had overstepped in this instance.“I know weight gain can be a sign of depression or something more serious, and my boyfriend’s sister is very quiet and just stays by herself most of the time, so I get why the nurse/teachers might’ve thought that, but I think it’s extremely inappropriate to ask a teenager those kinds of questions,” she said. “Especially a 13-year-old, as if they aren’t already self-conscious enough.”
Worst of all, some of the trusted adults in this teen girl’s life can no longer be considered such. “Now, she doesn’t trust her teachers, because she doesn’t know who’s secretly judging her,” she shared.
Redditors had mixed opinions on whether or not the school had done the right thing.
While the name of the forum is “Ask Teachers,” there is, of course, no way to ensure only educators are answering the question posed. Still, helpful advice was given both in defense of the school and the family.
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“You have every right to be upset and should call out the staff involved,” one person said. “They likely did have good intentions so it may be best to approach with kindness, but they need to see this from another POV.”
“Sudden drastic weight gain in adolescence is a massive red flag for sexual abuse,” someone else pointed out. “Not sure how tactfully it was handled based on a third hand account, but it was very appropriate for someone to delicately ask questions.”
Weight gain can be an indicator of some concerning things.
Psychologist Thomas Rutledge confirmed when writing for Psychology Today that losing weight can be difficult for survivors of sexual trauma. According to Medical News Today, fast weight gain can also be a sign of a number of serious medical conditions like polycystic ovary syndrome, hypothyroidism, and ovarian cancer.
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While the school may not have handled this situation in the best way, it is possible that the nurse’s probing questions really did come from a place of concern. However, surely the girl could have been treated with a bit more dignity.
If you or someone you know has been the victim of sexual assault, harassment, or violence, you are not alone. Call the National Sexual Assault Hotline 24/7 at 800.656.HOPE (4673) or chat online at RAINN .
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.