Russian Woman In The US Explains The Pros And Cons Of The ‘Russian Vs American Men’ Trend
A coin always has two sides.
Dmitry Galaganov | Shutterstock After a group of American men and Russian men were asked if they would be willing to provide for their female partners fully, many American women claimed that they were gravitating more toward Russian men based on their responses.
However, according to one Russian woman, all that glitters isn't gold, and the Russian man mindset had nothing to do with supporting women.
In fact, it is quite the opposite.
The ‘Russian Vs. American Men’ trend depicts Russian men as more chivalrous than American men.
A social media account comparing traditional customs and belief systems in nations across the world (@wordl.opinions) asked Russian and American men if they would financially provide for their female partners. Their answers were vastly different.
While American men claimed that financial responsibilities should be split or women should be willing to support themselves even if they have a male partner, Russian men reported that they had no issues providing for their women.
“Well, that depends,” one American man said. “Number one, why would I? But what is she doing while I’m working? It’s kind of like each relationship now is 50/50.”
“She has to provide for herself. She’s an adult,” another American man said.
“I would probably inspire her to work just so I could see there is some motive going in her future,” a third noted.
The attitude of Russian men was quite the opposite.
“If it’s my wife, then yes, because I’m ultimately responsible for her,” one Russian man shared.
“If it’s a wife, it’s about family and children, and ideally, she should dedicate 100% of her time to raising them,” another said.
“Basically, if she doesn’t feel like working, if she doesn’t feel like self-actualizing, and she’s comfortable being provided for, why not?” another claimed.
While many American women were swooning over Russian men since their claims appeared to be more pro-women, their reasoning was likely rooted in misogyny.
One Russian woman attempted to clarify what Russian men actually mean when they say they will happily provide for their women, revealing the pros and cons of it all.
Anya (@anya_taiga), who grew up in Russia and is currently residing in New Hampshire, has noticed the new wave of American women declaring that they are going to marry Russian men due to their willingness to provide for them without question.
While Anya noted that Russian men will always be the ones to pay for dinner, and she had never heard of the 50/50 rule until she came to the States, their mindset has everything to do with the way their government is organized and nothing to do with how much they respect women.
“If you hate on Russian government but would love a man with a Russian mentality, you are lying to yourself,” she said. “Our government protects traditional values. It even says it in our constitution.”
Men are paid more than women in Russia.
In 2023, men in Russia earned an average of 87,800 Russian rubles per month, which was about 26,600 rubles more than women.
Factors that influence the gender pay gap include gender job segregation, women being encouraged to work in lower-wage economic activities, and general discrimination against women.
Anya said that the concept of feminism is unheard of in Russia.
The government instead encourages women to pursue domestic endeavors, specifically motherhood.
The Russian government pays women to give birth.
“If you give birth to a first child, you get paid $6,000. For a second child, you get paid $10,000,” Anya said. “That’s why lots of families are able to afford to buy apartments and houses after having a child.”
Men in Russia also typically don’t mind financially providing for their female partners since maternity leave in Russia is three years.
“For the first year and a half, they pay you a full salary. The next year and a half, they pay you 50%,” Anya explained.
However, some Russian mothers may opt to return to work, and they do not have to fret about childcare — it is free, along with healthcare!
While this may sound like a dream come true for American mothers, Anya said that there is a catch.
In Russia, women’s rights are non-existent compared to the States.
According to Anya, there are no laws that protect Russian women, resulting in many of them being abused in their relationships.
“Even if you call the police for domestic abuse, they usually don’t come because everything is supposed to be resolved inside of a family,” she said.
According to the Federal State Statistic Service, 16 million Russian women, every fifth woman in the country, have experienced domestic violence.
In 2017, 8,500 Russian women died as a result of domestic homicide.
So, while a Russian man may be more likely to pay for his female partner, this doesn’t mean he will treat her well behind closed doors. Taking care of women financially is customary, not kindness. At the end of the day, women are still viewed as less than men.
A coin always has two sides. So before declaring that you will only be settling for a Russian man who always picks up the check, ask yourself if that's what you truly want.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.