Relationship Expert Gives 3 Psychological Reasons Why Popular People Are ‘Awful’
It's not you, it's them.
insta_photos / Shutterstock There are two types of popular people in the world. The first are popular because they are nice and genuinely liked by everyone. The second type is popular for no apparent reason.
One relationship expert is addressing this second group and explaining why they are “so awful.”
Kimberly Moffit stated in her TikTok bio that she is a “relationship and dating expert.” Moffit used her expertise to analyze popular people and why they can be so hard to get along with at times.
“Have you ever dealt with a popular person and wondered, ‘Why are they so awful?’” she asked. “Well, let me tell you, there is a whole psychology around popular people, and I’m going to let you in on their dirty little secrets.”
Here are three reasons why popular people are difficult to deal with:
1. They’re extroverts
“Popular people are so specifically engaged in their outer experiences and social relationships that they’re not in touch with their inner world,” Moffit explained.
She argued that this is not necessarily a bad thing in and of itself, but it can be hurtful for some people. “This doesn’t make them bad, but it is why if you are, like, a sensitive little creature, you’re going to find them insufferable,” she said.
In response to a commenter who stated, “Extroversion doesn’t [equal] lack of inner world,” Moffit responded, “So this is for the specific type of ‘mean’ popular person who does have a lack of inner world.”
While it’s certainly not bad to be an extrovert, a lack of self-awareness and introspection is bad and can cause someone to be, as Moffit said, “insufferable.”
2. They love things
Popular people are preoccupied with materialism. “For someone who isn’t particularly thoughtful, this is a really easy way of identifying who’s cool versus who’s not cool,” Moffit said.
Moffit argued that popular people will fixate on the material and judge people based on what they do or do not have.
“It’s just a very tangible way of measuring someone as opposed to a thoughtful, analytical one,” she said. Instead of using someone’s qualities and characteristics to determine the type of person they are, popular people will focus on what they have.
3. Words don’t hurt them
“If you think you are going to hurt a popular person with words, think again,” Moffit said.
For most, the old cliché “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me” doesn’t ring true. Words are hurtful to the average person. But popular people don’t think of them the same way.
“Words do not bother popular people in the same way because they do not understand words as comprehensively as you may,” Moffit concluded.
Not everyone agreed with her on this point. One person asked incredulously, “Did you just try to say popular kids don’t understand insults?” However, Moffit held her ground.
While knowing these things is helpful, they do not necessarily apply to all popular people.
Even Moffit admitted that these are not blanket statements for all popular people. In the caption of her video, she said. “Obviously, the best kind of popular person is a nice one!!! And lots of popular people are well-liked. This is specifically about the ones who are awful to you!!”
This disclaimer is important as not all popular people can be described as extroverted, materialistic, unhurt by words, or even “awful.”
However, plenty of mean, popular people are out there — people who use their popularity to get farther in life and hurt others. When it comes to dealing with these people, these principles can be helpful to remember to protect your own heart and set healthy boundaries.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer for YourTango who covers entertainment, news, and human interest topics.