13 Reasons You Feel Like You Have A Boring Life — And Exactly What To Do About It
It might be time for a change.
Alex Green / Pexels It’s Friday at 5 p.m. You’re done with work, you have the whole weekend ahead of you, only you don’t feel happy or excited. Instead, you have that specific sinking feeling, the one that lets you know when something is wrong.
If you find yourself dreading days off because you don’t know how to spend your time, you might believe that your life is unfulfilling. This means that you need a change of pace.
Here are 13 reasons you feel like you have a boring life:
1. You’re isolated from your friends
It can be hard to maintain friendships, given all the pressures of daily life. Yet keeping up with friends is crucial to our health, both mentally and physically.
According to a survey from the Pew Research Center, 61% of adults in the U.S. report that having close friends is extremely important to having a fulfilling life.
Being isolated from loved ones can translate into an overwhelming sense of loneliness, creating an echo chamber where you feel like your life is boring, sending you deep into your negative feelings.
Photo: cottonbro studio / Pexels
A 2023 journal article published in Frontiers in Psychology found that having positive, supportive relationships predicts higher psychological and physical well-being than any other variable.
Having friends provides us with a sense of calmness, security, and the feeling that our lives hold meaning.
Instead of sitting at home, scrolling through your phone, text a friend. Even a simple, “Hey, how are you?” can open up a conversation. Be brave and be the one to reach out first — You’ll feel better for it.
2. Your life revolves around work
We hear a lot about setting boundaries at work to protect our inner peace, but that can be hard to achieve, especially if you work from home. Your laptop is always there, your email is available with just one tap of your finger.
It can be hard to turn your brain off after the workday is over, which can make you feel like all you have is your job, with nothing else to fill your time.
Photo: Yaroslav Shuraev / Pexels
Make a promise to yourself that clocking out means disconnecting from work and tapping into the other parts of your life that make you feel whole. You can reinforce a sense of work-life balance by setting up “Do Not Disturb” notifications and not checking your work messages until you’re back on the clock.
3. You stay in your comfort zone
The older we get, the more settled we become. It can feel hard to take risks, which makes sense: Trying new things puts us in a vulnerable position. Feeling like you don’t know what you’re doing can make anyone’s insecurities flare up.
Try introducing one new thing into your life each month, whether it’s starting a conversation with a stranger, cooking up a recipe you’ve never made before, or listening to music from a brand-new artist. Start small and see where stepping out of your well-defined comfort zone takes you. You might be surprised by how energized you feel.
4. You’re not moving your body
Our society emphasizes the physical benefits of exercise, yet the mental health benefits are equally as important.
Feeling constantly bored can be connected to feeling depressed, in that having low energy and feeling low, emotionally, are tied together.
Dr. Richard Wadsworth, a psychiatrist, shared with us how exercise can help combat depression. He stated, “If you’re depressed and you aren’t exercising, most likely, that’s why, just from a statistical perspective.”
Photo: Lisa5201 / Canva Pro
“Statistically, if you were exercising, you probably wouldn’t be depressed. You almost definitely wouldn’t be as depressed,” he concluded.
Moving your body is a great way to lift your mood, by boosting endorphins and shifting your focus. Your workout doesn’t even have to be super intense. Go for a walk around the block and soak up some sunshine. Do some stretches in your living room. Do jumping jacks or push-ups, or even dance around, just to get your heart rate going.
Whatever form of exercise you choose will help you feel more engaged and energized.
5. You’re emotionally depleted
Sometimes, the reason we feel bored is that we’re feeling drained on an emotional level.
The symptoms of emotional exhaustion can include a lack of motivation, fatigue, and feelings of hopelessness.
According to Keya Murthy, a clinical hypnotherapist and life coach, "Emotional exhaustion can take you to a place where you find it hard to find joy in smaller or bigger things."
By figuring out what your specific stressors are and giving yourself time to recharge, you’re healing yourself and making space for feeling more fulfilled.
6. You think you don’t deserve to be happy
It’s possible that you feel bored because you’re not engaging in activities that make you feel happy, which could be a symptom of something deeper: That you don’t think you actually deserve to feel good.
According to therapist Jennifer Kennedy, a dysregulated nervous system can be a symptom of having low self-esteem, which is rooted in shame.
Kennedy shared that a low sense of self-worth “comes from a feeling of ‘I’m not good enough’ or ‘There’s something wrong with me.’”
“The reason this shame wound comes about is because at some point in our life, usually in our childhood, our worth has been determined by some external factor,” she said. “We absorb this shame. It gets locked away into our subconscious because shame is a very difficult feeling to process.”
“This very much goes to the core of our identity, so we identify with these beliefs. Of course, they’re not true, but we live as if they are.”
“Until we start working through the shame, those beliefs are gonna stay locked in place,” Kennedy said. “So really, healing the shame wound is the key to healing low self-esteem.”
Seeking professional support is the best way to begin healing, but if you aren’t able to access it, you can start small: Write in a gratitude journal or practice telling yourself affirmations.
We all deserve happiness. We all deserve to feel good about who we are and where we are in our journey.
7. You’re scared to do things alone
It’s normal to feel nervous about doing things alone, yet learning how to feel comfortable on your own is a very valuable aspect of learning exactly who you are and what makes you feel fulfilled.
The more you experience the world on your own, the more you understand yourself.
So, don’t wait for life to pass you by. Take yourself on a coffee date, or to the movies, or to a restaurant you’ve always wanted to try.
Doing things alone builds up your resilience and your sense of self-worth.
8. You blame others for your problems
The root of boredom is often feeling unsatisfied, and it’s easy to cast blame outside of ourselves when we’re unhappy. When we feel bored, we might tell ourselves that it’s everyone else’s fault but our own. It’s much harder to hold ourselves responsible for the twists and turns our lives take.
But being accountable to yourself is a very important part of owning your own life. Reset your path by looking inward and accepting that making changes is up to you.
9. You’re disconnected from yourself
It’s possible that you feel bored because you don’t really know who you are. Disconnecting from ourselves can be a coping mechanism, one rooted in feeling stress and anxiety.
Get to know yourself again by spending time with yourself. Cultivate the hobbies and interests that you’ve set aside and see just how big you bloom.
10. You’re too reliant on technology
It’s easy to spend hours on social media, scrolling mindlessly on our phones. Yet our reliance on technology can negatively affect our mental health, making us feel isolated, disconnected, and ultimately, bored.
A 2017 study published in the American Journal of Preventive Medicine, looked into the link between technology and social isolation. The study found that young adults with higher social media usage were over three times more likely to feel isolated than those who used social media less often.
Photo: Karolina Grabowska / Pexels
Putting your phone down and spending time in nature is one way to reawaken your senses and feel connected to the outside world. Trying out activities that don’t rely on tech use can open your life up in ways you never expected.
11. You’re stuck in your routine
Having a routine is an essential part of feeling grounded and stable, yet it’s also totally possible that your routine is holding you down.
If you find yourself doing the same things, day in and day out, it might be time to shake things up. Try out something new each week to break up your tired routine and inject some excitement back into your life.
12. You compare yourself to other people
Comparison culture can be defined as “a pervasive phenomenon in which individuals habitually engage in the practice of measuring themselves, their achievements, possessions, and life circumstances against those of others.”
According to a YourTango survey on the subject of comparison culture, 73% of respondents said there’s a correlation between comparison culture and depression or other mental health challenges.
It’s easy to think that your own life is boring if all you’re doing is looking at other people’s social media accounts. But it’s important to remember that the lives people present through those accounts don’t capture the full picture. Rather, they represent solely a snippet of someone’s lived experience, a highlights reel of what they want to share publicly.
Snap out of the comparison spiral by recognizing that everyone’s life is complex, full of ups and downs that they might not be showing on their Instagram account. Take solace in face-to-face conversations and relationships that get you to put the phone down, if only for a little while.
13. You don’t put yourself first
If you’re someone who puts others' needs in front of your own, it could mean that you get mired down in what everyone else wants, while ignoring what you want to be doing. Getting stuck people-pleasing is part of a vicious cycle, in which you don’t take care of yourself and wind up feeling bored and frustrated.
Learn to advocate for what you need to focus on yourself. Learn to say “no” to give yourself time and space for the activities that fulfill you and make you feel whole.
Boredom can be an uncomfortable feeling, but it also holds value, in that it shows you that it’s time for a change.
When you feel bored, your body is talking to you. It's time to start listening.
By taking a deep dive into yourself and reevaluating how you spend your time, you’ll learn what you need to do differently to live a more exciting life.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers social issues, pop culture analysis, and all things to do with the entertainment industry.