5 Rare Behaviors Of A Person Who Cares More About Being Themselves Than Getting 'Likes,' According To A Scientist
In a world of carbon copies, being yourself is truly rare.
dpVUE .images | Shutterstock In a world dominated by social media likes and trends, following the algorithm has become the norm, leading to a robotic and repetitive cycle where people are less likely to be themselves. Everyone ends up looking, speaking, and aspiring to be the same.
As trends eliminate creativity, true individuality gets lost, and creativity itself becomes formulaic. When a certain type of creativity becomes popular, it can overshadow the authentic, unique expressions that truly fuel innovation. In a society fixated on external validation, it's time to ditch the likes and embrace your true, authentic self.
Katina Bajaj recently addressed this concept in a TikTok and Substack post, where she discussed how to break free from life’s algorithm and cultivate your own personal tastes. As a creative health scientist, her content delves into the neuroscience of authenticity — what it truly means and how we can reconnect with our genuine selves in a world dominated by trends and external validation.
The five rare behaviors of people who care more about being themselves than getting 'likes':
1. They are curious
In her Substack, Bajaj explained that people who stay true to themselves come up with original ideas instead of just following the crowd. The first step in this process is to activate curiosity.
By nurturing curiosity, they open themselves up to new experiences and ideas, keeping themselves inspired and fueling continuous creativity. Writing for Psychology Today, professor of applied neuroscience Justin James Kennedy, Ph. D., explained that there are two types of curiosity: one arises when we feel confused and seek answers, and one comes from the excitement of discovering something new.
2. They embrace their own personal taste
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Bajaj also highlighted that people who don't follow the crowd develop their own unique taste. This means they create their own style and preferences rather than imitating trends or external influences. Over time, they learn what resonates with them based on their experiences and values rather than conforming to popular expectations.
In an article for Psychology Today, Shahram Heshmat, Ph. D., noted that our tastes in music and food and even our choice of partner are key to defining who we are and how we connect with others. Taste influences many of our life decisions, such as where we live, what we keep in our homes, how we take care of ourselves, and who we choose to be with. Ultimately, cultivating personal taste reveals who we truly are.
3. They harness their inner rebel
One of Bajaj’s favorite pieces of advice is to "harness your inner rebel." From a scientific perspective, this means that the most exciting ideas and creations come from taking risks and stepping outside of your comfort zone. In science, this concept is called "autonomy," which refers to doing things in your own way, free from external constraints.
To start, challenge the norms, break your own rules, and defy what’s expected of you. This mindset is another way of prioritizing being true to yourself over seeking approval or "likes."
On the "Ezra Klein Show," Kyle Chayka discussed his book "Filterworld: How Algorithms Flattened Culture." He explained how digital platforms like Instagram and Yelp direct us toward similar places, like minimalist coffee shops, based on our preferences. This creates a world where we're surrounded by the same styles and ideas, making it harder to discover new or challenging experiences. Chayka argued that algorithms prioritize popularity, stifling creativity and encouraging quick, shallow consumption rather than deeper, more thoughtful engagement. To break free from this, we must embrace our inner rebel — seek the unexpected, challenge trends, and make space for truly unique experiences.
4. They create without an audience in mind
People who don't follow trends often create freely without worrying about how their work will be received. True authenticity comes when you're not afraid of judgment. By making something for yourself, rather than focusing on others' opinions, you allow your creativity to flow.
Paul Kiernan from ThoughtLab pointed out that today's writing, whether in blogs or social media, often focuses on how it will be received, losing its honesty. He added that the best writing comes from being true to yourself without seeking approval or perfection.
5. They reject extrinsic motivation
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The final rare behavior of people who value authenticity over approval is rejecting extrinsic motivation. Bajaj explained that this means moving away from seeking external rewards like "likes," status, money, and promotions, which are often driven by the desire for approval or recognition. Focusing on these rewards can stifle creativity and individuality, leading us to conform to trends and seek approval, which creates a disconnect between our true selves and how we present ourselves to the world. Over time, this leads to feelings of pain, shame, and self-doubt.
Instead, Bajaj encourages us to focus on developing our own personal taste and embracing who we truly are, which fosters deeper connections with ourselves and others.
Mina Rose Morales is a writer and photojournalist with a degree in journalism. She covers a wide range of topics, including psychology, self-help, relationships, and the human experience.
