Professional Therapist Reveals The 10 'Golden Therapy Rules' She Follows In Her Own Life
The learnings a professional therapist uses to combat the challenges of life.
Jacob Lund | Canva You don't have the time or energy for therapy and counseling but still want the benefits of working with a professional therapist. Jianny Adamo understands how challenging it can be to get life right and find good relationships when you are overwhelmed every day. As a professional therapist, she has found ten golden rules to easily change your perspective on the challenges of life.
Here are 10 'golden therapy rules' revealed by a professional therapist:
1. The grass isn't greener
It's all an illusion. Committing to someone or something while lacking the openness for personal growth is a prison sentence, and so is making yourself busy every minute of the day not to feel lonely. It's hard work to keep chasing an illusion.
2. It's all about working on yourself
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You want happy relationships but haven't the foggiest idea how to maintain or attract them. Research on attachment and trust shows how becoming a safe person or safe harbor for your future partner is the perfect beginning.
3. Proceed with caution
Individuals are playing the field. They don't want a commitment, just the benefits! These individual aren't surrendering their hearts to anyone and live isolated from true intimacy.
The problem is you can't tell the difference between those who want a healthy relationship and are willing to work at it and those who are working with you to take you to the cleaners!
4. Don't take everything personally
It's simply a matter of a mismatch. What they want (intimacy, financial gains, shelter, stability and security, a parent to take care of them, or simply, to own you) and what you want, don't match. It's not personal!
They have not confronted their selfishness. Real commitment is set apart by its desire to devote oneself to another undergirded by peace, respect, compassion, honesty, and understanding.
5. Learn to let go
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Leave the people, places, and things in the past that do not bless your life or challenge you to be a better human. Release them without letting go of your hopes and dreams.
Your hopes and dreams go with you. They don't die with the loss of a relationship but continue to shine bright and guide you.
6. Slow and steady wins the race
Learn not to attach yourself to anyone or any notion that doesn't line up with your values and standards, as supported in the Personality & Social Psychology Bulletin. Only then will you hold on tight!
7. This world kidnaps us with an illusion of love
The love we give as human beings is imperfect. Unconditional love is transformational when we willingly receive it and accept its imperfections. Only then are we in a position to experience the greatest gift you will ever have — to love and be loved in return without any barriers or conditions.
8. Know who you are and the rock you stand on
Your values, dreams, and what you stand for will guide you to what you accept and don't accept in your life's journey.
9. Treat others as they want to be treated
The Journal of Value Inquiry helps us understand the importance of making love, respect, and honesty a cornerstone of your life. Always speak your truth and honor your word. Be open to the truths of others.
10. Love only exists in relationships
Our interconnectedness hinges on trust or faith. The best gift you can give yourself is to be a person who is worthy to be entrusted with someone else's heart because then, and only then, will you be and your relationships be — simply irresistible.
Jianny Adamo, LMHC, founder of Fearless Love Coaching and Counseling supports singles and couples breaking through fears and limitations to create safe and intimate marriages and relationships.