4 Big Productivity Lies Most Successful People Refuse To Believe
It's all about breaking the invisible patterns that hold us back.
shurkin_son | Shutterstock Nobody wants to feel exhausted most of the time, but it's more common now than ever. The great irony of exhaustion is the last thing you have time or desire to do is take care of yourself — and yet it's the one thing that can help you the most. In fact, it can even make you more productive.
It feels like a burden when you're worn down and just want to put our brain and body in neutral. The problem is, these stories are tricks being played by your mind, of a sort. You are not a burden. You are worth prioritizing.
And while productivity shouldn't be the focus when taking care of yourself, you just might notice yourself becoming much more productive as a result!
Four big productivity lies the happiest people refuse to believe
Lie #1: You're exhausted because you are weak
Have you noticed we live in a world that shames us for not taking optimal care of ourselves but then, in the next breath, shames us if we do indulge in self-care?
Modern expectations don’t leave a lot of room to focus on yourself and what you need. We don’t often talk about the realities our 24/7 culture demands, where it feels like a Herculean effort to simply do a good job.
The reality is you have a job to do (at work, taking care of your family, etc.), and you have to do it. And it’s not easy.
Lie #2: You can please everyone if you just work a little harder
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We all know what we should do to take care of ourselves. But is that the same as what you want to do? Do those things feel good to you? For example, when it comes to exercise and physical health, do you want and need a sculpted, hardcore body, or do you simply feel like you should?
Exercising, and perhaps over-exercising, simply to keep up with others’ expectations is not self-care, it is self-harm. Exercising to keep your body healthy, strong, and vibrant is self-care if that is your goal.
Therapist Reta Faye Walker, Ph.D. explains how "You and I have a baseline release of dopamine that is enough to keep us feeling content and satisfied. But when you are driven, and goal-seeking, you get a dump of dopamine that drops off dramatically once you achieve your goal. You see the problem, right? Dopamine is released when you want something — but as soon as you reach the goal, the dopamine supply ends."
The same is true for any way in which you are trying to please society: a promotion, a cleaner house, a nicer car, clearer skin. Understanding these distinctions can help you let go of activities that don't serve your personal goals. Replace them with the self-care behaviors and activities you want and need.
Identify what nourishes your soul, what makes you feel happier and stronger, and what you want more of. Listen to your true wants and needs. Implementing them is the best way to care for yourself.
Lie #3: Exhaustion is a sign you're on the right track
Part of caring for your whole self is understanding — with compassion — your body’s rhythms and working with them rather than fighting against them. Be honest about your energy ups and downs and use them to your advantage, arranging highest-effort self-care when you have the most energy (for most, this is early in the week) and lowest-effort self-care when you have the least (generally later in the week).
Need to squeeze in a yoga class or a trip to the grocery store, for example? Harness your best energy for exerting activities, leaving more relaxing choices (hot bath, reading, letter writing) for when you feel fatigued.
Lie #4: You must earn rest & rewards by pushing through exhaustion
You don't have to push yourself beyond your limits to rest. You can rest now while you're still feeling good. You also don't have to use rest as a reward. Rest can simply be done because it feels good and because you're craving it. You are worthy of self-care every single day, not just the days you work hard.
Cynthia Ackrill, ACC, MD, suggests that "Your inner critic will likely rise-up kicking and screaming for you to keep busy. But tell it to go take a nap — you’ve got this! Your rested mind can make better sense of challenges, hold healthier perspectives, make better choices, keep values and priorities in order, handle stress better, find hope, guide self-healing, create smarter solutions, and be more present for those who matter."
In addition, you can align self-care with what you want and plan ways to make your busy, stressful times easier. That way, when energy wanes, you'll still be able to do things you enjoy. For example, you do not feel like cutting vegetables when you're hungry and tired on a Thursday night, so maybe do so earlier in the week, say, while you listen to a favorite podcast or chat with a friend or family member.
Likewise, you might struggle to keep up your exercise routine when energy flags, but have no trouble if you pair the exercise with something enjoyable, like catching up with a friend or watching a favorite show while on the treadmill.
While research in Behavior Analysis In Practice Journal shows adding a reward to low-interest discretionary activities can help motivate you, the soul-nourishing part of this trick is layering on something that you want to do for you. That is self-care.
If your soul feels hungry, that’s OK! This is your body telling you what it needs, and your job is to nourish it courageously, one step at a time. When you struggle with self-care, try to determine if your hesitance is born from habit, shame, or sheer fatigue — this will show you where you need the most self-loving (and also support from others).
The American Psychological Association’s Stress in America 2015 report suggests you are not alone in the instinct to check out mentally and physically. Most Americans turn to TV, the Internet, or a nap on the couch for stress relief. However, we aren’t nourishing ourselves or relaxing in those acts. We're just escaping and collapsing.
To understand how to take care of yourself and summon energy when all you want to do is nothing, you can create more room and energy for well-being in your life.
Take this process gently, but recognize that only you can do this special job. When push comes to shove, you must prioritize being kind to yourself. This is something that takes mindful practice.
Dr. Alicia Clark has been a practicing psychologist for over 25 years and has been named one of Washington’s Top Doctors by Washingtonian Magazine. She is the author of Hack Your Anxiety: How to Make Anxiety Work for You In Life, Love, and All That You Do.