Pregnant NICU Nurse Reveals The Controversial Decision She Would Make If She Delivered Her Baby Severely Prematurely
Sometimes the best thing you could ever do for your sick child is declare when enough is enough.
Brocreative | Shutterstock A woman who is approaching the viability stage of her pregnancy shared her controversial take on what she would do if she ended up giving birth to a severely premature baby.
While some mothers may not agree with her, the woman also happens to be a NICU nurse and knows all too well what can happen to babies who are born months before their due date.
A pregnant woman and NICU nurse revealed that if her baby was born severely prematurely, she would allow them to pass away peacefully.
When NICU nurse Rae reached her 21st week of pregnancy, she took to TikTok to make a confession about what she would do if she ended up delivering in a couple of weeks just when her unborn baby reached viability.
Pregnancy is considered viable when the fetus has reached a stage of development where it can survive outside of the womb, given medical intervention if necessary. Depending on the baby’s health and available resources, they could survive if they are born as early as 22 weeks gestation.
While there could be a variety of reasons a baby is born prematurely, whether it’s high blood pressure in the mother or a condition in the fetus that needs to be monitored outside of the womb, Rae has already decided what she would do if her baby was born within the 22 to 24 week period. Her experience as a NICU nurse only makes her more confident in her decision, which may not sit well with other parents.
“I think that if I had to deliver my baby at 22 or 23 weeks, I think that I would have to allow my baby to pass peacefully with me, and I think that I would choose comfort care over all those extensive measures,” she said.
As a NICU nurse, Rae is familiar with what the quality of life can look like for babies who are born well before their due dates. “They really do experience a world of pain for so long,” Rae noted.
While the survival rate for babies admitted to the NICU is approximately 60% at 23 weeks, survival does not necessarily mean a life without complications.
Severely premature babies can be in the NICU for up to 6 months and encounter health issues, including low blood pressure, infections due to an underdeveloped immune system, pulmonary hypertension, and respiratory and feeding problems.
Their health complications often don’t end when they’re out of the NICU. People who are born severely premature often have learning and intellectual disabilities, neurological impairments, speech delays, cerebral palsy, behavioral problems, blindness, heart issues, and kidney failure.
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Although medical technology and advancements in preterm care have improved survival rates for premature babies, there may be cases where the damage is irreversible, and the only option is to ensure they live the remainder of their days comfortably without resorting to life-saving measures.
This is the plan Rae has determined is best for her baby if they are born far too early.“If you are a mother listening to this and you had to make that impossible decision, my heart goes out to you because I would never, ever wish that on my worst enemy,” she admitted. As heart-wrenching as it is to make that kind of call, what is even more heartbreaking is forcing a child to potentially suffer.
Other parents shared their experiences with premature delivery.
“My husband and I had to make this devastating decision in January. We chose comfort care for our 22 weeker because we knew what life would look like for him and that seemed selfish to put him through,” one TikTok user commented. “As an ICU nurse and 22 weeks pregnant. I agree. Comfort care 100%,” another shared.
Others who work in the medical field shared their own thoughts about treating severely premature infants.“PICU [Pediatric Intensive Care Unit] nurse here and I couldn’t agree with you more on comfort care. These babies come to us after they’re big enough to be triaged and are still so sick,” one user revealed.
“Adult nurse here, but I totally get this. I’m a very much quality over quantity person for myself and my loved ones. Yes, miracles do happen but for me it’s not worth them suffering,” another pointed out.
Every parent's experience is different, and every case is unique.
Every single NICU family’s situation is different. They may not have the financial resources to care for a child with lifelong health complications. They may have other children who need their attention.
Whatever their reasoning may be, it is not our place to judge.
One of the most important parts of being a parent is being aware of your child’s quality of life and working with the doctors and medical staff to determine the best options.
Megan Quinn is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in English and a minor in Creative Writing. She covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on justice in the workplace, personal relationships, parenting debates, and the human experience.